I totally agree .. sounds like you DO still love her hon. Sometimes a change & space brings it all back into perspective.

You know "You don't know what you've got til it's gone"

If you do end up back together, may I suggest some couple's therapy? May give you the skills and tools to rebuilt trust.

Will you still be my un Mutual Match though? I don't want to have to find a new un b/f!

Questions to ask yourself:

Why did you need or seek new experiences or another? What was missing? Learn the answer to that and you may have the answer to the problem in the marriage.

Do you still want the marriage - as in her as a wife - in its fullest meaning. Does she? If so, get couples' counseling.

Finally....any chance she may be trying to serve you with divorce papers? And, are you safe to meet her on the boat ALONE? Is that part of why you posted?

Good Luck.

only you have the answers to this one hun, and your wife..you have to ask yourself if your truly over your party lifestlye and if you still love your wife and want to makr a go of it....but most importantly you have to listen to what she wants..good luck

Very true. Very true.

Excellent advice!

Another very good question. Also, are you willing to make changes if it means a better and stronger marriage in the end?

Yes F2B I do and everyone knows this whole story. I have never kept it a secret nor have I tried to justify being stupid because she did something wrong because she didn't. It was totally my fault and I acted with the wrong brain. I told her up front because I didn't want to be one of those husbands who wanted his cake and eat it too. She maintained the high road as well. Always civil when we talked and when she talked to mutual friends. I am so tired of the "wide open" life style.... Party party party. I am looking forward to spending time with her on the boat and just talking. She is hurt and rightfully so and there is no excuse so I won't offer one. I'll just be honest just as I have been on this thread and see what happens.

Myrtle

Bottom line it's down to you and her. What both you want and how far you are willing to go to get it.

Hmmmmmmmm you just went through Man o pause myrtle!!

just tell me one thing Gypsy....what is the pic of !?!?!?!?!?!

Uhhhhhhhhhh my cat took a chunk of his hairball matt out and presented it to me on my bed!!!

I have no idea what to say

this is totally outside my realm of experience

But good luck MyrtleBeach

My 2 cents (and that may be an overestimation of the worth of my contribution, but ...) would be, PLEASE make sure it is HER as a unique individual that you miss and want back, and not JUST the stability/security of a marriage or relationship that's comfortable.

I know for myself, that would be the deciding factor in me taking my ex back (ain't never gonna happen now - but initially upon separation, that's what I was looking to see in his actions).

Your posts sound very heartfelt and mature as you take responsibility for the breakdown between the two of you -- and if you're able to translate that in person with your wife, then I think you have a great shot at making it last this time. I hope you can make it work - not just for your daughter, but for yourself and your wife. Let us know how it works out, okay?