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Topic: When is it appropriate to ask...
Natty68's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:10 PM
What the other person is hoping to get out of the relationship... friends... friends w/ benifits... a life long partner... etc...

I should probably know this stuff but I am really bad at dating... I was married for 13 years so I am a little rusty!!!

HELP!

kriesybear's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:12 PM
when you feel you need to know before your feelings get any strongert.

shoesmonkey's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:13 PM

What the other person is hoping to get out of the relationship... friends... friends w/ benifits... a life long partner... etc...

I should probably know this stuff but I am really bad at dating... I was married for 13 years so I am a little rusty!!!

HELP!
I'm in your boat. I'm trying to learn how to date. It's a painfully slow process at time's.

PATSFAN's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:13 PM
So am I, I feel like I'm new at this again, not that I was ever good at it

itsjustdave's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:13 PM
Right of the bat, if you want to know. Its not a weird question, I would not think anything of it if you ask me.

Flirtyvirgo's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:13 PM
I say to ask from the beginning, I would want to know right from the getgo. That way noone gets hurt!

DestinysDream's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:13 PM
I do it almost immediately. It's a fair question and one that is important to know. Why waste your time or theirs?

shoesmonkey's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:14 PM

So am I, I feel like I'm new at this again, not that I was ever good at it
I think I took it alot more in stride when I was younger.

Peccy's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:15 PM
Do it right away so there is no, "Really? I didn't know!"

hauveralan's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:16 PM
never ask.......never tell.......

Natty68's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:17 PM
Thank all of you... I have a date tomorrow & I am not nervous but I would like to know the answer to that question... like you all said I dont want to waist our time if we are not looking for the same thing...

Wish me luck... he seems nice!!!

DestinysDream's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:17 PM
Another thing is the profile has this on it. I think anything on our profile is "fair game".

lilangel2's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:17 PM
The sooner the better...just because you might want a long term relationship doesn't mean it will happen with this person...but is nice to let them know that is your intention from the get go...If you just wan't to be friends and nothing is possible beyond that, you should say that right up front...


I am looking for a possible long term MONOGOMOUS relationship...but , willing to make friends along the way if that is told to me up front.:smile:

PATSFAN's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:19 PM


So am I, I feel like I'm new at this again, not that I was ever good at it
I think I took it alot more in stride when I was younger.








Dating these days seems dam near impossiblegrumble

MAKE_ME_GIGGLE's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:19 PM
this dating thing was easier at 22 than it is at 42

mythicaljeff's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:20 PM
You gotta wait for the right moment to create the right moment. Shouldn't be a long wait.

Like, if they say "I love you" then immediately, loudly, you can go "WOAH! WOAH! WOAH!! Hold on, there!" Huge conversation on the topic of what everyone wants out of the relationship will follow.

But that's if you've already waited way too long to ask, really.

If you go some place quiet and romantic, and your hands touch, same thing.

Or even not quiet or romantic. And you're just passing the salt anyway.

Kiss goodnight? Also perfect. Jump back, "What the HELL are you doing?!"

...

Wait, you're a chick! You don't ask him what HE wants. He doesn't know. He needs you to TELL him what he wants.

Got rusty in those 13 years, eh?

lilangel2's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:21 PM



So am I, I feel like I'm new at this again, not that I was ever good at it
I think I took it alot more in stride when I was younger.



You are just chicken bigsmile




Dating these days seems dam near impossiblegrumble

Flirtyvirgo's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:22 PM

You gotta wait for the right moment to create the right moment. Shouldn't be a long wait.

Like, if they say "I love you" then immediately, loudly, you can go "WOAH! WOAH! WOAH!! Hold on, there!" Huge conversation on the topic of what everyone wants out of the relationship will follow.

But that's if you've already waited way too long to ask, really.

If you go some place quiet and romantic, and your hands touch, same thing.

Or even not quiet or romantic. And you're just passing the salt anyway.

Kiss goodnight? Also perfect. Jump back, "What the HELL are you doing?!"

...

Wait, you're a chick! You don't ask him what HE wants. He doesn't know. He needs you to TELL him what he wants.

Got rusty in those 13 years, eh?



A simple answer would have been betterhuh

PATSFAN's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:23 PM




So am I, I feel like I'm new at this again, not that I was ever good at it
I think I took it alot more in stride when I was younger.



You are just chicken bigsmile




Dating these days seems dam near impossiblegrumble









laugh Oh , you have the answer do youlaugh

Natty68's photo
Sat 05/10/08 04:23 PM

The sooner the better...just because you might want a long term relationship doesn't mean it will happen with this person...but is nice to let them know that is your intention from the get go...If you just wan't to be friends and nothing is possible beyond that, you should say that right up front...


I am looking for a possible long term MONOGOMOUS relationship...but , willing to make friends along the way if that is told to me up front.:smile:

I agree... but I am always afraid that I will scare them off if I tell them I am looking for something long term... like you said just because that is what you are looking for doesnt necessarily mean that it will happen with you & him... he may not like me OR I may not like him... ya know... something long term is just my goal... eventually

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