What i want to know is how people view some one who lives at home with
their parents, when they are 20 or older, and if you knew that they
didn't really have a choice would it change your opinion?

personally i think if ur in ur 20s its fine to live with ur parents if
not financially stable.. but its only alright if the person is trying to
get stable and get a move on im 18 and had an apartment for a few months
n my car payment my cell phone insurance and what not it was very
difficult so right now im back at home im planning on taking a year to
save up more money so its easier for me to do what i need to i think as
long as ur making an effort more power to ya.

at18,u ar accountable 4 what happen 2 life..at 20,u av 2 leave home 2
show sign of responsibilty 2 yr family and the society...living wit yr
parents means u ar nt man enough 2 impact yr community...

oluji- thats true to a point, but what if some one has physical problems
that prevent or are hendering them from being out on their own. Are they
still not a man?

aving physical problems is another thing entirely,,,,may be wit
deformity....no.but when u ar strong physically, u av 2 show that u ar
responsible....

oluji definatly agree, thanks for clairfying that for me.

I lived with my father for almost 2yrs due to the fact that I had just
moved back to my hometown no where to live and then I got dignosid with
cancer so unable to work with the chemo. I would have to agree with your
viewpoints on this matter. If your over 20 and capable of holding down a
job then why aren't u on your own. I mean staying with them for a
certain period to save some money up is fine but living there cuz maybe
no rent. I have a friend that is 35yrs old and still living with his
step dad. I think that is wrong and he needs to grow up and support
himself.

Depending on their situation I think, my ex-boy friend (42 years) lives
with his elderly parent cause he doens't want to put them in the nursing
home, now... that's a good intention, his ex-girl friend (35 years)
lives with her parent just because she doesn't have money and not even
her own sisters willing to take her cause she can't get her acts
together..and that's totally wrong....over 21 I think they should be
independent....

I moved out an had my own place at 15 years old. But i would not tell
anyone to do that. I think at 22 or 23 because then you should be done
with college and be able to get a good job. Now if you do not go to
college then 20 you should be in your own place.

There are many reasons for being at home with your parents. I went to
college and after getting laid off from my second shift factory job I
moved in with my parents with a wife and baby for about a month. I have
went and stayed with my mom when she had medical needs for a couple
months with a few nights off to go home to my wife and kids. I had alot
of people ask if we were splitting up during that time.

The thing I look at is are they able to work and if so are they going
to school(tech/college) or are they working. You have to be either
disabled, in school, or working(could be like I was and in between jobs
for a short time). Jobs are everywhere it just depends how low you are
willing to work for and how nasty the jobs are. So you can not tell me
you are out of work for 3 months or more and not be in school or have a
disability/medical need. McDonald's is hiring breakfast help nearly
always. The hours are bad(4am-11am), you never get 40 hours, and the pay
is just above minium wage. But it is a JOB. I once shoveled horse manure
for a living. It was hot, nasty, smelly work for little pay, but it kept
my daughter in diapers and her other needs like a HOME. Can ya tell I
can not stand people who will not work("will not" not "can not"). Now
being a house wife is hard work so yall know I am not downing people who
stay home and take care of the family and home.

When my father pass away along time ago, and my two sisters got marry
and moved out of my mom place I stay with her and my granmmother and
gradfather....my gradfather is already gone, it just my mom my
grandmother and me in the apartment, and I don't mind at all living with
her,she needs me, besides I could have moved with my best friend and her
sister, but right now I am comfortable living with my mother, she if my
best friend my roomate and she takes care of me and I take care of her.

The time will come when I will lost her too and I will be alone, so I
rather be with her and enjoy her as much as I can.
and for the jerks that mind me living with my mother all can tell them
is " FUCK YOU" excuse my french please..

The way I feel about it this...no one pays anyone elses bills...so live
where you want! If you want to live with your parents, hey go for it! I
don't live with my parents...but I do live right next door to my mother,
and all I got to say is thank God I do---when I had cancer...she was a
lifesaver for me!
I think everyone should do what they think is right for them, no one
pays any bills for them except maybe their parents. IF their parents
don't mind...why should anyone else?
My son will be getting ready to go to college next year, I wish he would
go around here and just live here at the house. But of course, he wants
to go to Purdue and live on campus. He will be 19 so he has to do what
he thinks is best for him...not whats best for me!! :)

I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT,OBVIOUSELY IM SEEING YOUR BROTHER.
BUT WHEN MY KIDS GET TO THAT AGE I WILL ENCOURAGE THEM TO GET OUT ON
THEIR OWN, EVEN THO ID HELP THEM UNTIL THEY COULD

Well now both of my kids are grown my son just turn 24 and my daughter
juat turned 21 they just both moved out a month ago. For you see I
moved out of my familys home due to conflict when I was 16 and lived
with my brother. I don't see a thing wrong with them living at home in
there early 20's like I told mine go buy the things you want get you a
nice car or truck , go out and spend and buy the things you want too and
enjoy them while you can. For myself I did not have that choice. But..
now rule was here ya can live at home but you must retain a full time
job. But I have also raised my kids alone for the last 15 years and due
to all this we are very close.And they made the decision to move out
themselves. Which yes I was ready!

TXgal, See even you made them get out and work. You may or may not
asked for them to help with the bills. I hope you taught them to save
money as well as enjoy life. One of my friends is 33 and still lives at
home with mom and dad. He has never been married and comes and goes as
he pleases. He works full time as a substitute teacher(which makes about
the same amount of money as a teacher without the head aches). Since his
parents are getting old and ill he has stepped up and started paying
many of the bills. He has enough cash in the bank to buy a house but
rather stay with his parents and care for them. So each case has to be
looked at one on one. Most of the adults living with their parents that
I know of are dead beats. These are the ones I will try to avoid.

My question is this...who are we to judge who is a dead beat? My brother
is 44 and he does live with my father, and I am very glad that he does.
My father had a major head trauma about 10 years ago and he does need
some help, so my brother helps my father when he needs it. My brother
does work, he also gives my dad money and helps pay any bill that my dad
can not pay.
They are getting ready to go up and put the house into my brothers name
because my father has been very ill. That way in case my dad does pass
away, no one can take the house. Then if someone needs a place to
stay...it stays in our family.
My whole thought is this, you never know what might happen to you...you
might become ill and have to stay with your parents. So why sit here and
judge anyone else? Or your parents might become ill and then you might
have to take care of them, would you be willing to give up your life to
take care of them? You need to stop and think--that is an unselfish act
right there :)

if there are certain circumstances. such as helping elderly family.
sure.. i am a 23 yr old male living with his parents and doing my
thing.. I'm a working individual paying my own bills, cell phone,cable,
internet, student loans.. etc.. It's not easy just starting out in life,
you parents are your parents they will always be there to help.. but
after a certain age i believe that you should leave the nest.. it's
makes u seem needy or somethin, so yeah it's cool for a bit but not all
your life..

why are you worried about what people think?

WELL I'M NOT I'M JUST THROUGHING AROUND MY THOUGHTS

Personally, I could care less if someone's living with their parents...I
mean, if the parents don't mind, why the hell should I? Some family
situations are like that, some parents like their family there and the
sons and daughters still want to be near their family unit like that.

In a way, I kind of envy that. When I hit 15, I thought I wanted out of
my house ASAP, and when I hit 17 I jumped at the chance to move half way
around the world from my family. Sure, I had a blast on my own and still
do, but I also realize on the family time I missed, especially with my
parents. My dad died while I was gone, and I never got a chance to
reprair things with him because I just had to get away from my family
with enough distance as possible, and I regret that. Maybe if I had hung
around and took whatever time it took to fix things, no telling what
might have happened, who knows.

Ah well, my family has sorta learned from that...My mom and sister live
together, both gainfully employed and sharing bills, and she now and
then stays with me. On the other hand, I know a guy who lives with his
mom, pays no bills, comes and goes as he pleases and his mom couldn't be
happier he's there with her. Just goes to show, all families have
different dynamics, and what's right for your family may not works for
others, and vice versa...So enjoy yours and stop judging others. -=x