How about don't be so selfish, and realize the guy is going threw a life changing event, and he IS going to act different. Do you care about him, or do you care about how he ACTS twords you?

If you care about him, stay and be supportive, if you don't move on.

It's really that simple.

not at all.see i will go and rob a bank to keep things great with you

Doesn't have to be a new relationship.Any relationship can suffer.No matter what, it's bred into us men,we are the bread winners,and it's hard to let that go.If we lose our jobs we feel like we are letting everyone down,less af a man and it really gets us down.Even if we are doing something we really hate and we lose it instead of being happy at losing the job that made us miserable,we get more miserable at not being able to provide for our partners and that is worse to us

Nicely done Lily!

Thank you for all your kind words. He knows I am there but he has to let me in.

I agree with what the others said... I am going through this right now... It took me a while to understand what had happened but like everyone said, if a man can't provide, most will feel like less of a man... I too was distant and depressed...
If you really care for him, stand by him and let him know that you understand how he feels... I was criticized and blamed for my misfortunes and that just pushed me farther away so be careful... He will come around when he gets back on his feet and will admire you and cherish you for being there for him...
Good luck to you

I'm sure that he wants you close even if he doesn't say it. Give it time.

no details but due to an accident in 2004 I lost everything...

noone stood by me.....wasnt anyone to drive away...

so I cant say how I would have reacted if someone tried..

but I do know it would have been nice to have someone try....

I have never lost a job...but I think if I did it might change the way I do things...might not change calling but would not be going out any...

I would hope you would be understanding....loss of job = loss of money, power, sense of worth and maybe even feeling like a dead beat....

I've been there and yes it can...it can be a hard hit to a guys ego which is really fragile. Only time will tell if he will get it together.

First, I haven't had a job in more than 8 years, or at least it doesn't feel like a job, being an inventor. As a stereotypical male in a modern world, I've always been my mate's provider. I once moved to Arizona to be with wife #1 and could not get a job in my expertise, which was in direct conflict with my thoughts on being a good husband/mate. Being poor for me is not to different than being impotant, albeit financially. Eventually, my wife and I seperated so that I could get a decent job, and we were reunited a couple of months later, but in the mean time, I felt very inadequate and much like a failure.

For my type, during troubled times, we need encouragement and understanding, well, not necessarily need, but want. When I started telling Wife #2 I was continuing without her encouragement during a very expensive time of my business, I knew from my side of the marriage, it was over. This is just me.

Mates encourage each other in ways that are positive most of the time, but there's nothing like a good swift kick in the ass emotionally to motivate those who aren't self-motivated. If the lack of motivation doesn't become self-propelled, congratulations, you have a deadbeat mate. If it's a common theme among past mates, congratulations, you're a deadbeat magnet.

I've found that, in the event that something big or life changing happens to me, I need someone there to be supportive to me. What I don't need is someone trying to solve my problems or be my mother.

If you can be supportive, sympathize and help him see that you understand what he's going through, chances are he'll have a much better attitude towards it all :)

Thank you..
I told him I would stand by him and support him emotionally if he wanted. We decided to put things on hold for a week or two to see if he can get things situated. I did send him a encouragement card and a hug so he knows I am there. Things happen for a reason and if it is ment to be it will if not I was happy to get to know such a nice man.

Sometime a guy has to make things work out on his own. It is a kind of a matter of pride I guess. The best thing you can do is give him his space, but let him know that you are there if you need him.

Shagnac, you seem like a very good woman. Hopefully he will eventually see that it would be better to have you beside him giveing him support reather than doing it alone. I have been fired from a few jobs way in the past. I have worked sence i was 15 yrs old and i have always been able to make money somehow. If i ever get to the point that i was not able to make money for awhile i would hope to have a woman to stand by me. When a man looses a job it is a hard thing to deal with,if he is a man that cares about takeing care of his own.

It will definitly change things in a relationship, especially a new one. Right now he probably feels like he has nothing to offer you. Or that he is a failure at the moment. Men by their very nature are prideful, and it has been bred into a lot of us that we need to be the strong ones, the providers. So losing a job sometimes does feel like we are "losing our manhood". And as stupid as it sounds we have a hard time admitting we need anyone. If you really like the guy, and you want to stay here's what i suggest. Make it seem like you need him...not the other way around. However you do that it is up to you. But that is just a suggestion. But i'll be willing to bet it works :)