okay I have been dating a guy for about 6 weeks, great connection, very respectful and treats me well, about 3 weeks ago he got laid off and things changed a lot. he was less attentive, the romance went down the toilet and he was just guarded. I told him I would be more then willing to be understanding and going out and not doing things would not bother me.
Things have just not got any better, I told him I needed him to step things up a little and he said he could not promise me anything, he said lets give it a few weeks and then see, I told him I didnt think it was fair to make me wait like that. I told him I would not call him anymore but he had my number if he thinks he could change in that area during his rough time,
My question to the men is..... If you loose your job does things really change in a relationship that is faily new?

Never lost my job before....so really cant say

But IMO it sounds like a cheap copout

yeah

Not one of the guys...but I can tell you that when my ex(boyfriend) lost his job everything went downhill from there. He was irritable constantly, the fighting was horrible and getting him to do anything around the house was a nightmare. Many told me it's just the stress of not having a job, they see it all the time during winter layoff around here.

At any point in a relationship... it will change. Men ARE what they do, so often. Lose your job and you lose a lot of yourself.

It's a guy thing.

losing a job really changes a man...

I dont think it was a cop-out as the problems didnt happen until he was laid off. He always gave me the upmost respect.

Not having any income will mess with anyones mind, it's bound to be hard on any relationship, especially a new one, best wishes

Wouldnt a man want his girlfriend to stand by his side though? He said it had nothing to do with me but as you said it is a man thing, he said it really bothered him that he couldnt take me out and do nice things for me at this time, I told him that did not matter to me but I guess it did to him.

It would make things more stressful for me but i wouldnt push her away. Maybe there is another reason for him being distant. Just a thought. I may be wrong.

his pride is trashed...hes probally embarrassed

Methinks something else is afoot here. Sure, it sucks to lose a job, but I wouldn't tend to think it'd be THAT traumatic an experience. That would go especially if said job stinks- if THAT were the case, then it'd probably a GOOD thing to get the heck out.

Like I said... I think he's got something else going on, though I can't say what for sure at the moment. He could be seeing someone else, or he's got some other issues going on.

Maybe, I dont know~ I am not one to sulk around wanting to know the what if's. It is just to bad as he was a nice guy.

If you really like this guy, I say stand by him anyway. He says he has your #, but that could just be another punch in the gut if you walk away. There are plenty of things you can do without spending money. Take him on a picnic, to the beach (if one is by you), etc....

I think its great that you stood by his side and supported him. Wish there were more people like you.

Well maybe it's meant for both of you to spend some time a part until he can get back on his feet, with a job and all.

Best of luck though.

samething when my x lost his job it hurt him, he could no longer support his wife and kid, we ended up divorced. part of his problem was being diagnoised with uncontrolled epilipsy, he was told he could never work again. he's too high risk for on site accidents, this crushing him completely.

some men cant or wont let a woman support them, by working

I have planned things that does not cost anything, I am fine with that, but he has a hard time with it. I told him I am more then willing to stand by him but he is way to guarded right now and I cant break it down I tried

I've been there...dated a guy who's business went belly up and he told me it was like "having his manhood cut off".

Sorry you guys had to read that!

He was moody, detached and the last thing on his mind was me. I know it's a new relationship, but if you like the guy, I'd let him know you're there for him and give him his space at the same time. If he's anything like mine was, there's nothing much you can do but show your support and let him work it out.

hang in there, his pride and self confidence are trashed at the moment. When he gets back to work, he will prolly be more "nice" than he was before to try to pay you back for hanging in there when he had bad times.