Tomorrow is my daughters 10th birthday party.-Great kid by the way. My problem is her father-sperm donor- did get an invitation mailed to him for him and his girlfriend and 2 of my daughters half brothers to come to the party. My daughter is soooooo excited that he said they are coming, however, in her little 10 years of life, he has been nothing but a MAJOR disappointment to me for her. I don't think that she realizes what he has/ has not done for her in her short life so far, but she LOVES her DADDY, and it honestly breaks my heart everytime I think about it... He has never been to one of her parties, never bought her anything for Christmas, Easter, Birthdays, you get the picture. I think if he does not show up tomorrow, and he breaks her heart, I will seriously go CRAZY on his ass, and I mean it.... I will not allow him to pop in and out of her life and allow her to think that is ok to do so. It is not right! I think that he treats her the way he does because of me. I had him put in jail about 3 years ago for not paying his child support, and even though he does not do the extra things, his paycheck each week is garnished, that is what it took. She really wants to be like a Daddy's girl, but I honestly think she is just confused about the entire situation, and it makes me so Angry when I think about it.

well i grew up the same way but instead my mothere kept me from my dad. and now im closer to my dad then my mom.

One thing, edit the sperm donor part, confusing!

he probably will never change. but i could be wrong. sooner or later ur daughter will realize that too.

You have every right to be upset, but it's true, she might end up resenting you for keeping her from her dad. Some people just suck. If he's going to let her down, let her see it for herself... and over time it may change or she may just get sick of it and speak up. My mom never kept away our loser dad unless he was a danger to us, and I don't resent her for letting me see the truth.

? How is that confusing? He is-has not been a father/ daddy, so to me that is what he is!!!! A SPERM DONOR!!!

So what are you looking for an opinion on here? My daugher is ten also and calls herself a daddy's girl. He lives in NY. We live here. I don't argue. It's something they'll realize as they get older, but if you point it out to them now, you're going to become the bad guy.

I never said I keep her from him, he chooses that.... and always has, NOT ME!

Don't stress. you have a great day with your daughter and if he does not show it's his loss Tell her HAPPY BIRTHDAY from all of us at JSH

dont let her see you dissappointment ,,,, make the best of it ,,,

dont run him down ,,,, she will make her own decicion on him as she gets older


tough i know ,,, but if you dont you could end up pushing her away ,,, show her the postitives

my son dad (ex hubby) hasent seen him sense he was 2yrs old. and 4yrs ago when he was in the hospitol for gasritics i contacted his dad and he actually talk to him on the phone, and my son stated he wanted to see his dad... and when he was in the hospitol back in dec. my son almost died and i got in contact with his dad and after harassing him so many times he actually came down and brought his wife and daughter.. my son was so out of it, we didnt tell him that his dad was there, we still havent told him that he was. and took me about a yr to get him to pay child support.. my son is doing alot better now just has a few problems every now and then where he doesnt really need to be back in the hospitol...i sware my son half sister has more brains than there dad

I've seen a very similar situation - the term is appropriate.

And a "daddy's girl" grew up to be a very bitter 18 yo.

You misunderstood what I said. I'm saying if you DO keep her from him so he doesn't hurt her feelings she might end up resenting you.

I would never say anything negative about him around her. I pray and pray that she will see for herself one day, and she will... I am just tired of him hurting her, and I have to take up his slack, when she asks, why didnt my dad get me a Christmas present? That is so heartbreaking for me to answer her... I do not put him down to her in any way.

my daughter said the same thing about her dad as him being a sperm donor, its pretty much the truth

Awwww, thanks!

Nah, he's an @ss. Sperm donor is like a mutual agreement between people at a sperm bank. I was about ready to ask why'd you hit him up for child support if you got his sperm at a sperm bank!

Thanks, I think that is some good advice.

LIJ, I haven't read the other posts but I can tell you I have a similiar situation with my sons... The way I handled it was and is (still have a 12 yr old), I never ever let the boys know what was going on or what a piece of crap their dad is.. I let them think he was great.. Now the two oldest are grown and they know what an ass he is and that I protected them and kept them from it.. My youngest still has yet to learn.. but it will be on his terms if and when he's ready to realize and accept it.. until and even after he does.. I am going to protect him and support him and never give him reason to wonder why he isn't important enough to his father.. It hurts me but they are more important than I.. Their self-esteem and growing up feeling and being loved.. That is just me and what I did and still do.. jmho...

Gotcha. It's a tough one to deal with. I hate the why questions. I find myself having to come up with answers that won't hurt her feelings while at the same time trying not to make excuses for him. Very difficult sometimes. Lately I've taken to just not telling them anything in regards to them and we've had enough talks about him not getting their hopes up for him to have stopped. Admittedly it took a lot of threats on my part, but it worked. And my kids are now coming around to the realization that though they love him, and he loves them, he's just not the best at the whole parenting thing. In this situation you have to kind of sit back and look at it and decide what you think your best options are. Unfortunately, you then have to communicate them to him. I know that's always fun, but it should be worth it in the end if you can come to some kind of agreement. Good luck. And Happy Birthday to your daughter!