okay I'm willing to go off topic for a minute.. ..lol... can you elaborate.... what sort of ultimatums and deadlines... are you talking about..?

I agree I thoroughly enjoy the smile that goes with leaning back and listening to others

That's not gender related ..
I've found that the more I know, as in wisdom, not knowledge, the less I feel I NEED to speak up. I can now just smile, and enjoy leaning back, listening to others. My ego doesn't need to be heard anymore. Sometimes, yes, but not so much anymore.

Basically it's like learning martial arts. You CAN fight, you CAN defend yourself, and with that knowledge, that trust in yourself, you also can walk away from a fight. You don't feel the need to fight, because there isn't any need anymore ...

As for the rest, it depends what comes out of someone's mouth that tells you whether he/she is a knucklehead (lol) or has some brains and/or wisdom to share ...

Have to agree with what you have said, been there done that, but it is important to keep a sense of perspective. It is nice to rise high in the company but all the money in the world is not going to keep you company on a cold winters night.
After a long marriage, that didn't feel long at all, and ended so suddenly and painfully when death did us apart, I can honestly say I have no regrets. Last few years of our lives were hard. No matter how someone's body and soul are strong, when health ties the person's hands and one becomes periodically fully dependent on the help of others, it becomes very hard for both partners to carry that burden.
Love wins when making a decision to stay and let career opportunities go. So, it comes with a high price, but everything in life comes with a price, doesn't it? We made our choices together, been through good and bad and then some, but without regrets. Actually, I felt a relief after his soul left an exhausted body and hoped it was the end of a pain and suffering.
At first single life felt so empty, pointless and meaningless, but I moved on step by step, day by day, month by month... and learned more about myself and others. I learned that not everyone who helps you is your friend and not everyone who (un)intentionally fails to do so or does the opposite is your enemy. I learned that past is a foundation for the future I am building now. My new wings are strong and still growing, so I can spread them fly again.
Life is a journey and it can be much more fulfilling with the worthy companion. Sometimes it is good to be single to let past settle, which allows us to open our eyes and our hearts and see ourselves and the world with a deeper insight. We can understand and accept others to the exact degree that we really understand ourselves.
So, single or in relationship again? I have chosen to try meeting someone special and make the journey of life more meaningful for both of us. If I do not meet such a person, it means nothing has changed. At least I tried, so there will be no regrets later. So what happens happens...