*raises hand* I missed ya, but then again I'm a terrible shot

Anyhoo, welcome back senor!

Have you seen her, my Eva? I hope she didn't run away with that monkey, the charming bast*rd!

Practical?

Well, I don't know...I don't know if it's practical, but it is certainly different then what you have been doing.

But I guess if you are ready to end it, then you are ready to end it. It seems to me that is the direction that you want to end. Now, I don't claim to know you, or anything about your situation (I can only speak from what I've read in this thread), but if you want to figure out whether a solution is practical...then you are at least subconsciously ready for an end to the relationship.

Ladies will drive you nuts...you show me a guy who tells you different and I'll show you a liar. Still, if you look at it objectively (or from a practical viewpoint if you prefer), then what they want isn't all that esoteric.

1.) They want to feel loved.
2.) They want to feel special.
3.) They want to feel safe.

Yeah, not exactly different from what anyone else in the world wants; but if it's that simple then it shouldn't be a problem, right?



That' when communication comes into play, because men and women typically communicate very differently, for very different reasons. I'm not going to get into details here, cause you probably don't care, but I hope you can at least agree with that general statement.

So, back to being practical...which means SOLUTION ORIENTED!!!

So...logic dictates that she isn't giving you the silent treatment because she can...she has a reason (and probably a good one in her opinion). That reason relates to at least one of our big three, if not all of them in some way shape or form. It would be an extremely improbable situation that would cause it to deviate from that.

Again being solution oriented, if you care to, then you want to...for the lack of a better phrase...emotionally move her from her feelings of deficiency in those areas back to feelings of security. (I know, this sucks the romance out of it, but if you want practical...well I just hope I'm not wasting my time, lol)

So, how to do that? Well, again skipping over a lot of detail, as is generally accepted you need to use communication to act on an emotional level. Women (generally speaking) use communication as a reward system and to build rapport, while men use communication as a means of relaying facts or information. So, you need to communicate with her in a manner that is going to make her feel safe; emotionally.

The flowers show her that you care, that you have thought about her, and that you are concerned about her; far more eloquently that a phone call during work hours saying almost bleakly, "We need to talk." Asking her about her feelings also shows her that you are interested in her, on a level that is familiar (because you are using rapport building phrases rather than asking for information). This also shows that you care about her and is part of the usual socializing process that typically occurs with females. All of this communicated concern serves to build up security.

Man, I'm sorry this is such a long post, but you seem like you genuinely wanted to help...and I can understand the need for practicality.

So, to cut a lot of writing mercifully short, the question you should be asking is, "Is she worth it?" If she isn't, then it seems like it would be a waste of three days.

Well, I'm off like a prom dress I hope you come to a resolution! Good luck!

LOL, then you should have taken the simple advice before, nyuck nyuck!

J/k man, we've all been there, or else we wouldn't have our own stories to share.

Why don't you do this then.

Step 1...buy her flowers.

Step 2...give her the flowers saying, "What I wanted to talk about is it seems something is bothering you, and I want to know if there is something I can do to help you out. You don't have to go it alone you know."

Step 3...She will talk...at length...and all you have to do is listen, nod your head, and give her a hug and a kiss when she's done.


3 steps, 20 bucks, and problem solved, promise.

Go figure...*sigh* this is why patience is a virtue.

Look, if you "want to talk about something", make sure you know what it is. Fact is, they get more words than us in a day, so they can talk circles around us.

Besides, you should never yell, getting emotionally involved in the argument makes you lose credibility. My advice is, at this point...write out what your issue is, and don't let her know that you wrote it out before hand. Then, while you are talking, take notes on what she says...that way you make sure you are listening. And not just to what she says, but to what she is saying by either omission or tone.

It's either that or apologize for blowing up at her

Hi, my name is Ike Turner.

And to add to that...remember the wise ostrich.

He is wise because no matter what, he knows to bury his head in the sand

LOL... I knew it!

So you might want to hear about my "final solution" for this blue-box epidemic


Moneky-nuts for all!

What are you....racist?

I think I just died a little inside.

Just my opinion, but why the demarcation from friend to loved one? Why the need for all these boundaries?

My friends are my family. They can offend me, yell at me, disagree with me, but I love them all the same. After all, love is about building up, not breaking down. They offend because that happens, they yell because they care, and they disagree because I disagree too.

As for moving from friend to lover...I think they only change should be in the level of intimacy, and of course the sexual attraction between you. Attraction is a pretty simple concept... there is no mistaking that heat, that desire, that passion that is ignited when you are attracted to someone. If it's there, there's no confusing it, because the only confusion lies in wanting to admit the truth to yourself.

Sometimes we want that passion to be there when it isn't, and at others we don't want it to be there when it is...this is denial, and this is where the crux lies. If you aren't sure, think about past lovers (if applicable, if not think of a "hot celebrity" or sweaty dream), and ask yourself if that feeling is present. If it is, then sweetheart, it's way too late for you to be wondering if your relationship should change, because for at least one of you it already has.

If it isn't...there are worse things than finding out you have made a lifelong friend. While it is a pity that someone you feel so close to is not someone you care about in that way...at least you have that much more love in your life.

The way I figured this out is actually because of some friends of mine. We'll sit around and joke, and one of the jokes is, "If you were a hot chick we'd definitely be knocking boots." Then we laugh and talk about boobies. But aside from the joking around, it really is true. These are my friends for life, my hetero life mates, with bonds as deep or deeper than any marriage vows given out today. We mesh, but due to circumstance, we lack that passion, that drive, that intimacy that changes the label from "friend" to "lover". So if it is guilt or fear that denies you from accepting how you feel, stop it. It's no one's fault but God that you do or don't have that attraction, because lord knows nobody I know can figure it out. Just look at Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts,

I hope that helps in some way, and good luck to ya!

What's your pin number?

Join a cult!!!

Just kidding, cults are bad...well most of 'em anyway. The biggest thing is to be involved, for example social sites like this one. Actually, if you are shy about talking to people, a great club to join to get over a fear of socializing is Toast Masters. They basically get together and work on public speaking. Not only is it a great way to meet people, but the club activities help to break that shyness that acts as a barrier to socialization.

Me, I just like to see how many people share my odd sense of humor, hehe

I'll have to agree with massagetrade. Basically, my family drives me nuts and as soon as they meet a significant other or friend...*sigh* well I just never hear the end of it.

My parents STILL try to talk to me about my ex from HIGH SCHOOL.

So yeah, when it happens, it happens, why is there a need for an appointment?

Well, might as well put my two cents in...if you want the number, just ask for the number. In my opinion, more than 2 emails later and you still like talking to the person...*shrug* you might as well talk to the person.

Unless you are like me and HATE talking on the phone.

I really hate the phone.

So do I have to buy you dinner, or do you just want the money?

Prince

Black Jackson or White Jackson?

*closely examines pictures for power source or alternative fuel supply*

The grounded part I definitely agree with....


but sister has ACTUALLY burned water.


Yeah.

Hey, don't feel bad, I know high schoolers who say the same thing .

I consider myself a 26 year old cranky codger...and kids only make me feel older...

or younger, lol. All they are is a person's immediate family. When you are dating someone, you are dating their family anyway, kids are just shorter members of the same family.

What's so scary about kids anyway? It' not like you can't take 'em...(recalls old memory of beating up a six year old smart mouth......)



















I'm just kidding people jeeez....he wasn't that smart