Q: You say in the course to not use “carrot and stick” motivation, and yet in other content it seems like you are advocating that. What gives?

A: I’ll let a comment posted on our Influence Video Series answer this, because she did a better job than I ever could:

“This is my interpretation of what Danny is saying. Blue line practice does not involve a carrot at all. Dangling a carrot is a control tactic that works quickly but does not product long lasting change... some times the "carrot" will no longer appeal to the child, and the child will go back to the undesired behavior until you dangle something more appealing to them to get them to do what you want them to do. Recall that the carrot is just an incentive to do a desired behavior. Blue line is giving them the request and giving them time, space, support to carry out the request on their own. The hope is that over time, they will develop internal motivation, inspired by their successes of doing something completely on their own, not because you coerced them.

Example. A line: Take a shower. If you take a shower, I will give you this nice salty carrot. B line: It's shower time, turn off the TV and let's go to the bathroom. If there's no response, wait it out, possibly join him in what he is doing for a while and request again. Be sincere, any manipulation or fake behavior will be picked up on. Maybe offer assistance to turn off tv or ask if he will do it on his own. If he says no and sticks to it, honor the request. You could then mention that he may start to stink if he doesn't take a shower on a daily basis (natural consequence), not being mean about, just matter of fact. Try again the next night...next night... soon he will realize that you are not trying to control him, just trying to help him. If he finally decides to go to the bathroom on his own, yay! Now you can offer any accomodations to make the process of taking a shower less of an anxiety provoking event. Stay there and offer any assistance (adjusting temp, offering soap, offering towel, etc), don't have any expectations on how things should go, just be there for your kid.”

What she is referring to is called “Holding The Space”

or else the person with the most educational background would always win


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Nope.

Intelligences come in many forms and many times to has absolutely nothing to do with education. experience ( which is knowledge and gained on the job), street smarts (again knowledge) problem solving ( yet again.. the brain).. and last but not least... common sense ( again.. the brain)

Have nothing to do with education.

You hve evrything but still you feel something missing in your life

Can you tell me more on love??

possible to love someone without meeting them personally?

I offered to pay for trade school and he told me he wasn't interested.