max and paddy where walking down the road , paddy sliped and broke his leg, paddy goes to the hospital and has his leg in cast they go home , and paddy say to max can u get my slippers there upstaris so he goes and gets them , as he goes though the door he see's paddys twin daughters, they say what u doin up here max . your father askd me to shag both of you , the twins say your a liar , max says i prove it if u want, hey paddy is one u want or both, paddy says well ****ing one anit no good

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
departed...

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"
9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.

8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke.

6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.

4. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".

3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.

2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

1. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."

cool creamy comdom wrapped in a flap of pubes

succlant willie prised into fanny of jucies


fanny on a bed of fanny with a side of licks



this not just any food this is m and s food

a man and a dog go into a bar , the barman goes can me and the dog have a pint, barman says no. well my dog is an origarmi dog , prove it says the barman, so he gives the dog a bit of paper and the dog make him a dove , so he he let him and his dog have a pint. second man walks in with a dog , can me and my dog have a pint, no says the barman, my dog is an woodwork dog , so barman gives the dog the wood , so he makes this beautiful horse , okay you can have the pint and the man and his dog sits down. 3rd man walks in with a dog. come on mate what can your dog do, his a metal work dog, oh right how say the bar man, well he can make a spring for your bollox and a bolt for the door .


hahahahaha hope u like xx

max and paddy where walking down the road , paddy sliped and broke his leg, paddy goes to the hospital and has his leg in cast they go home , and paddy say to max can u get my slippers there upstaris so he goes and gets them , as he goes though the door he see's paddys twin daughters, they say what u doin up here max . your father askd me to shag both of you , the twins say your a liar , max says i prove it if u want, hey paddy is one u want or both, paddy says well ****ing one anit no good