I wouldn't say I'm frustrated -- more like "resigned to reality," I suppose.

I'm a great catch, too (or so they tell me) but nobody is really looking for whatever it is I have to offer.

C'est la vie....and welcome to the site! Best people on the internet are here!

I would advise you to be aware of one thing -- taking the adamant "No kids" stance has basically made me a pariah insofar as finding any actual dating prospects is concerned. The "No kids" qualifier is more damning than saying "I killed the Lindbergh baby" or "I'm the reason Chernobyl went bad" or whatever.

It may be different for a woman; I don't really know. Just understand that you are going to dissuade a lot of people who can't function outside the repro-box.

I had to figure this all out, and it took awhile. And I realized that, for me anyway, it's more important for me to live a childfree life than it is to be with someone. Your mileage may vary....

I was thinking about doing one of these, but nobody could stay awake long enough to read through my entire list....

It just baffles me completely. People act as if I've insulted their dog or something when I say I have no interest in being a parent.

To be fair, I get the same reaction when I say I don't drink, or mention that I have no interest in politics or football or whatever. There seems to be a standard working definition of what an "American Man" is supposed to do and think and be and say, and any deviation from that suffocating pigeonhole is treated as a serious psychological disorder.

I don't see a problem here. You have a certain amount of baggage you're willing to deal with from another person, and once it goes beyond that, it's simply not worth the effort and the ongoing notes on plot twists, etc. Nothing wrong with that....

When I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2007, I was told that, typically, people with Asperger's often have an extremely difficult time understanding why NeuroTypicals do a lot of the things they do. I was asked to make a list of behaviors that struck me as completely incomprehensible, things that "normal" people would do more or less routinely or automatically. I ended up with a fairly long list.

"Having kids" was at the very top of that list.

I was also told that it works in reverse, as well; i.e., a lot of the things that I would do would seem strange to "normal" people.

And it really doesn't make much difference in the long run, but I am somewhat concerned by the fact that women, in general, seem to have an extremely difficult time understanding that there might actually be some people in the world who have no interest in, nor aptitude for, being a parent. It's as if they think they'd be doing me some tremendous favor by tricking me into it somehow.

Most of mine (now) are either from Ghana or Manhattan!

I will, as soon as they stop BEING the same.

I know a lot of women I've been with have seen it that way. They assume "He doesn't want kids NOW, but maybe down the road I can get him to change his mind...." That's why I try as best I can to make sure they understand this is a permanent thing.

When I was younger, I wasn't always thinking ahead to the extent I should have been, and it's possible that some ambiguities may have developed from this. I might not have been clear about the unchanging nature of my disinclination to procreate. But there was a point when I recognized this, and took steps to address it.

It's been several years since I've actually been in a position to talk to anyone about this within a relationship context, so I have no recent experience to fall back on here. I can say, with complete assurance, that just about everyone I heard that from, prior to, oh, let's say three years ago, was lying. There was one exception.

But I think I'd be more likely to assume they were lying if they said they didn't want kids right up front. That's the "default setting," in my experience.

When everyone lies to you, about the exact same thing, over and over and over again, for years and years and years, I think it's only normal that this pattern would be noticed.

Well, you can't go by what they say. I personally can account for at least 90 who SAID they didn't want kids, but actually did want them.

So, as far as I'm concerned, someone saying they don't want kids doesn't carry any weight whatsoever.

People don't think about this stuff. Cupid has an ARROW, people. Arrows are dangerous. Especially when the tips are soaked with curare.

Women I've dated, women I've been friends with, co-workers, relatives, etc. It's pretty much a universal condition, from what I've seen. Not a large statistical sampling, admittedly, but conclusive enough for me.

It's just waiting for a chance to kill me.

Absolutely. The men are just as brainwashed as the women -- it's just that the women seem to be more biologically tethered to the repro-mentality. I mean, there are men like that, too, but the men I've known are less likely to consider it The End Of The World if they don't leave offspring, for whatever reason. Most of the women I've known simply aren't capable of imagining a life without reproducing.

Next time, I'm gonna be a cowboy. And then a spaceman.

In my experience, the biggest problem is that most of the women never question it and fall right in line.

That's been my situation with every girlfriend I've ever had -- with one exception.

I'm very clear, right up front, that I have no interest in being a parent, or in being WITH a parent -- and that this is not going to change.

And they inevitably tell me "I don't want kids either, they're noisy and they're dirty and they smell bad...." but after I've been with them three months, they suddenly can't live unless they have a baby.

Several of them have told me, after the fact, that they were sure they could get me to change my mind about having kids, if they had enough time to work on me.

No no no no no.....

This is one reason I'm so skeptical about ever finding anyone compatible -- it seems like women are hard-wired for putting reproduction over and above everything else in life. This is a mindset I simply cannot comprehend.

Here's a good link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger%27s_syndrome

I was diagnosed with "high-functioning" Asperger's in 2007.