Picky. No, wait, you said dwarfs, right? OK, then it's Groucho.

For me, it's largely an issue of clarity. If someone says "I'm gonna go kick that ocelot in the kidneys," I have a fairly good idea of what their intentions are.

If someone says "I love ya" -- not that anyone does anymore, but assuming this was back in the days when they did -- I don't know whether that means "I need your help" or "I'm going to need your help tomorrow" or "Please get me out of whatever mess I'm in today." But it certainly doesn't mean "I love ya" in any of the standard formats I would normally have attributed to it.

There is that. But "I love pizza" and "I love Teresa" have two radically different meanings. Part of me is appalled by the idea that the same word can be used so fluidly in both contexts.

I think it's one of those words like "good," that just has too many meanings and nuances to be of much use in anything but the vaguest of situations.

Yeah, it was a little disconcerting to find out I was jobless....!!

I feel like I have a lot to offer, and I hear the "easy on the eyes" thing a lot, so there is (in my mind, anyway) something there to work with. The problem is, no one actually sees me as "me" -- they see me as raw material to be turned into some other guy who is nothing at all like "me."

I thought that same thing, for years and years and years.

I hoped it was true.

But it turns out that all the Alexises (Alexii? I'm not sure what the plural form is) aren't interested in Lex, they're only interested in who they can turn Lex into....

My life right now is the emptiest it's ever been, so I have plenty of time to devote to a new person. There just isn't anybody out there to devote it to.

If it was me, I would spend more time on the relationship and less time concerning myself with what other people think.

Never never never. We have e-mail and IM right here on the site, there's no need to go off-site for any of that.

Definitely a godsend for me, too -- since moving to Indiana, the only "social life" I have is on line, and the best people I know are the ones on this site.

That's a perfect way to phrase it, as far as I've seen.

The ones I've seen who actually do appear to be looking for someone, are looking for a relationship so rigid and narrow and traditional in its parameters that I think they'd be better off going back to the Eisenhower administration.

Or, as I wrote in another thread yesterday, on a similar topic:

For me, there was a certain level of introductory naivete attached to the idea of suddenly having access to millions of people I could never possibly have known otherwise.

As it turns out, the millions of new people were no more interesting or compatible than all of the ones I already knew in real life. The macrocosm turned out to be nothing more than a much bigger version of the microcosm.

I guess for me, it's because my experience has been that most people on dating sites don't actually appear to be interested in the dating aspect of the site.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that someone can find "the one" on line, but the actual percentage of people who do get together, vs. the percentage who don't, seems way off from what it should be if people were legitimately looking for someone.

For me, there was a certain level of introductory naivete attached to the idea of suddenly having access to millions of people I could never possibly have known otherwise.

As it turns out, the millions of new people were no more interesting or compatible than all of the ones I already knew in real life. The macrocosm turned out to be nothing more than a much bigger version of the microcosm.

I agree with this -- we're not barbarian hordes, living in an era when conquering took precedence over everything else.

On the other hand, I have learned that even a non-conquerino such as myself, who is concerned with communication, commitment, and a desire to build a meaningful relationship, is no less doomed to failure.

So I'm wondering if it makes any real difference in the long run....?

Some thIngs Never chanGe regardLEss....

I don't think I really am attractive to others, or at least I've seen very very little to indicate this.

Trying to be objective and see things in myself from an outside perspective, I would think that my intellect, sense of humor, and creativity would be considered attractive, but evidently these are not the kinds of things people are interested in....



People tell me I'm "intimidating and complicated" a lot, which I really don't see at all, but that's their perception. I suppose for some, the no-kids, no-drinking thing is a disincentive. The Asperger's thing probably doesn't help a lot, either!

It's her face, she can do whatever she wants to with it. It's not about what I like, it's about what she likes.

Everything else being equal though, I will admit to an irrational attraction to gobs and gobs of eyeliner.

There's one conundrum I'll never have to worry about....

I don't think it's a line at all -- I think it's more like a huge gray area.