OP, even with all the new info you've provided, I still agree with the person who said YOU can't do anything about it. It's the guy's mother, not YOURS so it's up to him to stand up to her, if he's willing and able to. You can talk to us about it all day and nothing will change.

No one is telling you to break up with him, no one is telling you he's a dead beat dad, or judging him for being the sole caregiver for his children.

What we ARE saying is that you need to talk to your bf and tell him how you feel. It's up to HIM to deal with his mother. All of the stuff you've said to us here, you need to say that to him. We are a bunch of strangers, from different parts of the world, we don't know you or your bf or his family, so anything we say is going to be irrelevant, even if we agree with you. TALK to your bf. That is all you can do.

If he can resolve the situation with his mom, that will be great. If he can't, or if he's unwilling to, all you can do is walk away. Even if you'e invested in him and the kids, if he's not wiling to work on whatever is causing the problem, you can't do anything about it but walk away. Otherwise, you're going to constantly be upset about it, and that doesn't help anyone.

I know it's hard to leave someone you care about, but if all the relationship is doing is causing you grief, I don't see the point in staying. Does your bf even know that his mom's behavior bothers you?

As for people advocating family and all that, as far as I'm concerned, family is fine, but everyone has their place. My family has no place in my relationship. Period. And I make that clear whenever it's necessary.

As I said initially, I hope everything works out for you both, but nothing is ever going to be resolved if you don't tell him how you feel and give him a chance to rectify things. If he can't or he won't, then the rest IS up to you.

Good luck.



OH, I haven't been telling this story because I didn't know that it was his place to set his family boundaries regarding his romantic relationship. I wanted to see what others opinions would be.

I've already broken up with him, cut the ties because I value my own self worth to live my own life and not have my happiness dictated by anyone else. Like I said, I wasn't going to be a convenient doormat for anyone's life and that at the end of the day, yes, obviously it's their decision to stay in an unhappy environment for whatever reasons. I did remove myself from it. I love him & his kids, but I had to love myself more and be happy. I gave it a fair chance, and I have no regrets.

I've known "that" since day one and long before I met him...lol.

I'm sharing my story more so for the "Families" .....the mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, children, etc. that intentionally try to to cause trouble and interfere with the ones they claim to love. And they know who they are and what they are doing when they do it.

I have a family too, like I said, I'm a mother....and I'm trying to give some sage advice to buttinsky (even if you think you know it all and mean well family members) and in my particular case it happened to be someones mother, it could be any family member for example.

My advice is ....if you know a family member, be it a grown child, a bro a, sis, even your own parent who has finally found happiness and love again, and it's hard enough to make any romantic relationship work these days(or none of us would be on this dating site trying to find it, hey) to step back. And unless you know for a fact that your family member is dating "Jeffery Dahmer".........love and respect them (and yourself) enough to let them have their space, have their relationship, and be happy. Giving your 2 cents is fine, but a buck fifty isn't...lol.."

Be genuinely happy and supportive of the relationship and welcome the new person in. Don't ever make the new person feel like they are the only ones who need to "earn" (as some have said) your respect or place in the family. Really, how arrogant and unaccepting, uninviting, unloving is that. Treat people as "innocent" before trying to prove them "guilty". Remember they don't know you and what they are getting themselves into either, so it's more of a two way street. Because there are at least two people involved in that relationship and the person your son, daughter, whomever is dating has the right to be respected, and given a fair chance as you would want to be if in their shoes.

So to the "Families" of others who are trying to have a romantic relationship, think about "how you would want to be treated" when/if you are trying to have a relationship and would like to become a part of someone else's family.