I reread what I wrote and I can see how you would take what I said as being mean or rude. Although that was not my intention, I do at times come across harsh with my a matter of fact delivery. So I apologize if what I said caused you to feel further contempt for yourself.

You are mistaken to assume I don't understand. I actually do understand! I too was hard-wired since birth. My early childhood years, from birth to 6 years old, were void of what every child deserves in life. It was full of violence, betrayal, drug/alcohol addiction, and abandonment.

By time my Aunt took me away from my mother at age 6, I was one messed up little girl. It took months before they could get me to come out from under the bed anytime my Uncle was home.

Throughout my years, I have had several different diagnosis from therapists/doctors... Depression, Anxiety, Possible Bi-Polar, Separation Anxiety, Detachment Disorder, PTSD, ADD, and Alcohol Addiction.

My road to recovery from all my diagnosis's was frustrating and challenging. After several years of being free from my supposed diagnosis's, and having somewhat of normalcy in my life, my inner contempt for myself lead me back to drinking and thankfully a botched up attempted suicide. I say thankfully because had I succeeded, I would never have experienced the light at the end of the tunnel that I am experiencing now... Self Love!

Reflecting back on all of that, I spent many years blaming others for who I was, how I was, and why I needed or did certain things in life. I blamed my parents for how messed up I was and my ability to not be able to receive love. I had a hat full of diagnosis's to pick and chose from to get others to feel sorry for me and blame my behaviors on.

Nothing changed until I took responsibility for myself and stopped blaming others or my diagnosis's for who and what I am. No one gets to decide that except me! The last nine years of returning to me hasn't been a bed of roses, but it's been well worth it. I no longer need punishment, either self inflicted or inflicted by others, in order to survive.

No child, or adult, deserves punishment. My comment to you that perhaps it would be easier to buy a paddle was not appropriate, considering I didn't explain why I said that. My thought pattern was that if you were to inflict the punishment yourself, you might see how ridiculous it was to continue harming yourself through others. Sometimes when we do to ourselves what we want others to do it has away of turning on the light and seeing things differently.

You live in the US. Any form of therapy that uses punishment is not therapy! It's abuse, inhuman, and unethical! With all the resources available to us, it saddens me that people are still out there wanting to be punished, spanked, or beaten up when they don't act accordingly or as a means to stay on track.

But as I said before, it's their/your business. The resources are there if you want them. If not, then so be it, continue the search for a punisher. If that's not what you truly want, then find the resources that guide you to self love, rather than self torture. It is your choice!

Best of luck to you either way! Namaste!

Anxiety, depression, addiction can all be passed thru genes or can occur from tragic events or learned behavior. I do not agree with Tom making this out like because the things he has done in life makes him 'normal' and others 'not normal'. That seems 'selfish' to me which is also passed thru genes as well as learned. At this point it doesn't really matter how much of it was inherited, and how much was picked up over time. It has much more to do with learning to adapt to the conditions that exist and alter the brain to recondition itself.

The anxiety can cause a manic state where there are highs and then crashes into a depressive state. I can also trigger a fight or flight response. If the anxiety is not controlled it can lead to rage. This seems like this fetish of being spanked would be counter intuitive like maybe the anxiety and ADHD is just an excuse for justifying the fetish? Or it could be based on something that happened in the past?

First thing to always look at is diet, exercise, lifestyle. If the high blood pressure a result of anxiety and ADHD? Is it diet based? Is it inherited? Often time stimulating the brain without over doing it can relive much of the problem, it's all got to do with dopamine and endorphins and how the brain processes everything. The drugs listed are aimed more at depression so I wonder if the doctor really knows what they are doing or just chasing an easy buck? I would consider look into other doctors.

As far as councilors go what they do is council, not treat. And it is much like a drug addiction where you have to want change, and hopefully can change brain activities to become a little more normal. Drug treatment often fails several times before it takes, that's why they also call it drug counseling instead of drug treatment, and the brain has rewired itself to adapt over time so it can take awhile to get to normalcy. Often learning better ways to deal with the problem and avoid certain situations is the best bet.

Anxiety, depression, addiction can all be passed thru genes or can occur from tragic events or learned behavior. I do not agree with Tom making this out like because the things he has done in life makes him 'normal' and others 'not normal'. That seems 'selfish' to me which is also passed thru genes as well as learned. At this point it doesn't really matter how much of it was inherited, and how much was picked up over time. It has much more to do with learning to adapt to the conditions that exist and alter the brain to recondition itself.

The anxiety can cause a manic state where there are highs and then crashes into a depressive state. I can also trigger a fight or flight response. If the anxiety is not controlled it can lead to rage. This seems like this fetish of being spanked would be counter intuitive like maybe the anxiety and ADHD is just an excuse for justifying the fetish? Or it could be based on something that happened in the past?

First thing to always look at is diet, exercise, lifestyle. If the high blood pressure a result of anxiety and ADHD? Is it diet based? Is it inherited? Often time stimulating the brain without over doing it can relive much of the problem, it's all got to do with dopamine and endorphins and how the brain processes everything. The drugs listed are aimed more at depression so I wonder if the doctor really knows what they are doing or just chasing an easy buck? I would consider look into other doctors.

As far as councilors go what they do is council, not treat. And it is much like a drug addiction where you have to want change, and hopefully can change brain activities to become a little more normal. Drug treatment often fails several times before it takes, that's why they also call it drug counseling instead of drug treatment, and the brain has rewired itself to adapt over time so it can take awhile to get to normalcy. Often learning better ways to deal with the problem and avoid certain situations is the best bet.

have you send me a message in my inbox with that address I think I probably already watched it cuz I've scoured YouTube for spanking therapy I can't copy and paste it and when I try to enter it in to the website it just says nothing found and I've checked it over and over and over again

have you send me a message in my inbox with that address I think I probably already watched it cuz I've scoured YouTube for spanking therapy I can't copy and paste it and when I try to enter it in to the website it just says nothing found and I've checked it over and over and over again

Listen to this podcast! I think it might help

https://youtu.be/tB0sxKXODPc

Listen to this podcast! I think it might help

https://youtu.be/tB0sxKXODPc

I'm thinking you may not have the right view of a BDSM relationship.
Many people that are in the lifestyle are for a reason, some similar to yours.
Some find tremendous peace from it, relaxation, a letting go of. An enormous release. Which then helps them to function normally and properly in day to day life.
It can actually help to feel yourself, calm and happy.
If a solid spanking helps you, you are in a way into pain as a good spanking is not for the faint of heart.
Pain in BDSM is not to deliberately hurt someone and cause them distress or harm. It's not like beating someone up, nor out of anger.
It's the most controlled loving thing, in a way even more based on love than a regular relationship.
That is because it requires tremendous amount of mutual trust. Not just from the one that is in the sub role, but also the one who's the D, in equal measure. That's cos he/she must be able to rely on the feedback of the sub so he/she doesn't truly hurt them and is able to give them what they need, not more, not less.

If you do not wish this in a love relationship as it's purely about the discipline, not sex, then you could find a Dominatrix you see every now and then.
All can be catered to your needs.

So I'm guessing you need a no-nonsense woman who's in charge of the relationship?

Are we talking about Dom/Sub relationship?

I'm thinking you may not have the right view of a BDSM relationship.
Many people that are in the lifestyle are for a reason, some similar to yours.
Some find tremendous peace from it, relaxation, a letting go of. An enormous release. Which then helps them to function normally and properly in day to day life.
It can actually help to feel yourself, calm and happy.
If a solid spanking helps you, you are in a way into pain as a good spanking is not for the faint of heart.
Pain in BDSM is not to deliberately hurt someone and cause them distress or harm. It's not like beating someone up, nor out of anger.
It's the most controlled loving thing, in a way even more based on love than a regular relationship.
That is because it requires tremendous amount of mutual trust. Not just from the one that is in the sub role, but also the one who's the D, in equal measure. That's cos he/she must be able to rely on the feedback of the sub so he/she doesn't truly hurt them and is able to give them what they need, not more, not less.

If you do not wish this in a love relationship as it's purely about the discipline, not sex, then you could find a Dominatrix you see every now and then.
All can be catered to your needs.