thats all I can do.... thanks....already told him we needed to talk

as a man, (mind u he is a devout Christian who honors truth and honesty....) would u be able to forgive someone for lying about there kids after a year....thats the key, "A YEAR..." we talked everyday, multiple times a day about "us". I guess i got caught up in this fantasy and really grew to like him. He fell in love with someone he thought I was.. Never lied about me being married but told him my relationship was headed towards divorce... and that I was unhappy in it... the only lie , and i am not minimizing anything, is about having children. I told him many times that I wanted to tell him something and hoped he wouldn't judge me... but never brought myself to say it.

well he is not calling me and some times things are better left unknown... just guessing..

never ashamed of them. They are beautiful and blessed beyond words, Everyone who meets them falls in love with them. I never denied them with the intentions of continuing the relationship and the lie...It started out as a joke and my sister and I were drinking and having a good time. I am not condoning my actions at att... I was wrong for not being honest after the first conversation,,,, just was contemplating letting him go without revealing anything....cause he is waiting and not calkling me anyway.... so even if i tell him the truth chances and he forgives me... chances are we still wont be together, maybe friends.

yes, I would have been the first to judge harshly if I had heard of this situation coming from someone else...BEING IN AN EMPTY RELATIONSHIP DOES MAKE ONE VULNERABLE AND DO THINGS TO SURVIVE OR KEEP HAPPY AND SANE AT TIMES... With all that said u still didn't answer the question as to what i should do wish the guy. I think when we are hurting we look to survive, we may not make the best choices but in my case, not justifying the behavior, but i made a mistake which in the situation seemed harmless in the beginning but allowed it to go too far. Your response is so on point and you show an understanding of the human condition.

I understand

Redshirt........was it something shocking like my situation or lie...and if so how did u receive it and what was the outcome? Could you forgive someone for this? When you say both, are you referring to my husband and I.. If so we have gone sometime back...

i know about making that decision...right now he (husband) has been gone at a training for job 4 5 months. Need to make a quick decision on the other situation first. Honestly, I dont know if i would be able to forgive something like this, or work past it. That is why i find it extremely difficult to tell him..

no, says he is single and just let him know when i am on my way... says doesn't want anyone but me.... anytime

he hasn't called me... only wants to hear from me it seems when i give him the information on my flight to go see him...he may be the one letting go at this point.... he text me and said he thinks of me often but wants to know the flight no. and info... until then think he will let go. and no two wrongs don't make a right... I think I have been starved for some time now emotionally, so when was opened to that...been having more of an emotional affair...our conversations have not been sexual for the most part...we talk mostly about religion,health, education,music...wonderful convos..

the question is at this point , a year later, do I tell him the truth or just let go!!.....telling the truth is what burns in my heart... But letting him go will be more to preserve him from hurting.

I don't intend to drag this along any further... Not fair to him.. I am ready to tell the truth or leave him alone.And be ready for the consequences of my actions.I adore my children and think I am a dedicated and wonderful mom. I did mention ton him that I needed to tell him something and I hoped that he wouldn't judge me... He knows something is not panning out.He doesn't understand why in a year we havn't seen each other and there has always been an excuse. He is waiting for me to see him or I feel he has to let go in order to redefine the relationship... If there can ever be one once he finds out the truth ...if i decide to tell him the truth ......or let go for good

I think in all of this I have realized how unhappy i am in my marriage.... the issue here is, what do I do with this guy I have lied to.... Contrary to what someone accused me of being, i am not a lier. I am not blaming my actions on anyone. just wanna do the right thing and am more confused now than before. I just don't wanna hurt this guy... and maybe if i just let it go i can spare him.

i know all of that... just was able to realize all this recently... sometimes when we are caught up in working , living raising the kids we don't stop to really see whats going on... It's always easier to say when u r not so emotionally caught up in it...

children are in a great school. he is very much involved with them. They love there father. We have a lovely home.I prayed and have hoped and have labored over making this marriage work. I think my heart was growing tired and vulnerable when i met this gentleman.

No, I'm saying that when I was invested and faithfully, I was constantly being hurt. How can u be invested in something or someone that is constantly letting u down? I don't ever wanna be in that "place" again!!

u are wrong. I have never been in a relationship outside of my marriage before, no need to lie before... Have been a good wife and mother. This is the first time i have messed around.... I really don't want him to see me like that.. I know I created this mess and deserve him labeling me as such if he does... I am truly sorry for lying and have learned a serious lesson from this..... I didn't intend to see him again and yes I was drinking and having a good time, my husband didn't want to go with me on this trip, never wants to do much with the family, but yet is very jealous.... because of ur response im leaning towards letting it go..I wouldn't say i was being selfish i made a mistake. That would never happen again.

its really not about sex. and yes I know honesty is the best policy, But do i just let it go to keep from hurting him. I'm mot ready to leave my family now.I have too much invested, and he lives quite far. I am so emotionally detached from my husband, have been hurt too many times and my feelings for this guy has kinda liberated me from being so emotionally dependent on my husband.. He hasn't been a good husband.

I'm leaning more towards letting it go...although it pains me so, I think I have let this go too far... What do u men think? If someone you fell in love with revealed this truth after a year what would be your reaction.... I must add heis a very spiritual, church going guy...and believe it or not so am I.

Over a year ago I met a nice young man on vacation.I was with my cousin and we were really enjoying ourselves. I have been having major martial problems with my husband(been married for 10 years with 2 children)Been separated from him in our marriage several times, he has been unfaithful. He is a great provider and a wonderful father. We have had major issues..
Back to the vacation.... I met this man who I was instantly attracted to...we talked all night, He asked me if i was married and I told him I was getting divorced, asked me if I had children and I replied "No"... I didn't think i would ever see him again so was kinda joking. while leaving I gave him a hug and he handed me his number, then asked for mine. I gave it to him. Next morning he called..we spoke for hours and the topic of kids never came up...he is 3 years younger than I am..
As the months went on i never told him i had kids nor that I was still married my husband was working overseas. Went to see him and we had a wonderful passionate night. The connection was dynamic... I had never cheated on my husband, but have known him to have several times...it's been a year and not a day goes by that we do not talk. I never revealed to him that I had kids.Though several times have attempted. Didn't wanna loose him. He has been wanting to see me and i always make excuses.. I adore my children and pride myself on being a great mom. This young man wants me to spend time with him and is growing tired, recently he said if i didn't we had to cut communication so that he could "get his heart straight".. has told me he loved me and wants to be with me. I don't know what to do at this point , do I just let it go, Tell the truth and risk him never being able to trust me . He hasn't called in 3 days. Please understand that I have never lied about my children or marital status ever. Don't be harsh!!! I'm crazy about this man. I really don't want to loose him but think I have no choice. What do I do? Please Help!! i don/t wanna leave my husband for this man... have too much invested at this time.. But cant stop thinking about the other...everything i prayed for in a man!!! I would have never imagined myself lying like this. Please don't call names... I'ts not that I don't think he will not accept my kids, I don't think he will be able to get past the lies. I am not happily married and found joy in talking to someone like him.Don't think I am ready to divorce but because of how my husband has treated this marriage I don't feel bad about my feelings for this guy...Either I let it go and don't say anything or tell him the truth and hope he understands...I am not a selfish person although in this situation I made a very poor judgment call. My husband has been unfaithful and has cheated numerous times, telling him would mean that i am ready to leave him, he can be very cruel and judgmental. We dont have a relationship like that.