I am not sure if this question fits into this category or not, but I think it does....

How do you men and woman find the time to date? I mean between work, chores, the kids involvement in sports and school. Where and how do I find "Me Time".

adj4u Ooops! Sorry Sir! I truly apologize, should have checked your profile first...DUH! I hope you weren't too offended.

Puffins, I never knew that the way to get noticed was by posting something. I see that now. Everyday I would check the site and nobody was looing at my profile. Thanks for the heads up, I've already made a few new friends.

To: Abracadabra,

I agree "Friends" first, but your right it doesn't seem to fly anymore in todays world?????

I think everyone is right on with this one....just give it time, maybe she wants to make sure...

To: Puffins1958 & adj4u;

I know you ladies are kidding around. Believe me there is nothing going on. I was just venting and wanted some advice. Like I said earlier I should have realized that with the positive advice that I was also openning myself up to negative advice. Barbiesis just stated what was on her mind as she perceived it. No big deal. Nobody is in love with anyone here, we are just chatting the night and day away...I was naive I guess on certain things she picked up on...so I am overweight and middle aged, aren't we all?

Whose up for a love fest?

Look I am truly sorry it has come to all of this. I am truly sorry to Barbie's sis too....I was angry at her reply, but I should have realized that everyone was not going to be totally positive, and that some were going to try to help me in a round about way by pointing out what they perceived to be my faults.

Two good things came out of me starting this post; one was that I now see that there are a ton of good folks out there with similar stories and the other is that I have made a few friends from the post.

Again sorry that my temper got the better of me. Thanks for the support!!!!

Second Statement to "Barbiesbigsister"

Listen lady, I never called you a *****, I simply stated that you were *****ing from the word go....That is a term of your way of expressing yourself.

As for why my profile said Seperated and Recently Divorce...did you ever for one minute stop and think, First you are seperated, then you get divorced. Perhaps if you got off the high horse your riding you would take a breathe and stop slamming me long enough to realize that I may have been seperated when I joined and the had the divorce finalized and not remember to change the wording on the profile....Wow, you are really out to slam me. Why?

Searching for a friend first and lover next. I have plenty of friends and one is a woman that I have known for over 30 years!!!

Special Statement to "Barbiesbigsister"

Your just the type of woman I have been meeting. ***** to start with and ***** right through to the very end. What's your issue. I said I have added pictures that show me below the neckline, so now what? Also, who said I was looking for "Coochie" as you call it after a cup of coffee? A nice conversation and the start of a possible freindship is what I am after....and just for the record how long have you been single? Quite a while I would guess.....And furthermore, who the hell said that any woman owes me any dam thing? WOW....you are out there.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and recommendations. I have added a 2 pictures to show that I am not hiding anything below the neck, and as Reddragons said, "it's time to pony up!"

Thanks!

OK, before you read this I must warn you, this is going to be very self gratifying for me and probably very sappy and funny for you the reader. I just had to vent and "You were warned!"

It's been about a year now since I re-entered the dating world after nearly 30 years of inactivity. I have to say things have changed. The biggest change has to be the ability to simply go online, browse around a site and email someone without meeting them face to face and trying to start up a conversation. Gone are the days of having to go to a club, or bar and work up the nerve to approach someone after preparing your opening line in the mens room or with your wing man. You would think at first glance, this is wonderful, this should work out in no time at all.....well WRONG! 12 month's a mere three first dates, or shall we say meetings and still nothing to show for my endeavers. Nothing, zilch, zero, nada! What gives?

Maybe it's the fact that I am a stay at home dad right now? Maybe it's because I am turning gray? Maybe it's because I am too old? (Is 46 too old?)Or, and I don't even want to think this...maybe I am truly ugly? Oooh, that hurt even to write!

I am not going to name the different sites I am on, but they are all basically the same. Chances are the same people are on all the same sites as you are too. I have seen you there! So why isn't anybody getting together?

Truly there has to be someone out there that can appreciate one of the true old fashioned guys still available. Someone who still takes the time to open the car door, hold your chair out and make sure you are alright, all the time. I am not afraid to hold hands or kiss in public. I am not afraid to share my feelings or emotions. I love to cook, I do laundry, I clean the house and best of all....I clean bathrooms! And let's not forget the yard work or fixing things around the house. Are you enticed yet?

Like I said I have had a few meetings and contacted a few women over the telephone. These are just a few of the areas of problems I came across.

#1 - Photo's are misleading. I am not the best looking man in the world but I do believe in physical attraction. With that said take heed, "Beware of the beautiful face in a tight close up picture". Usually the person is hiding something below the shot. Now don't get me wrong, I am not skinny, but I am not overweight by a long shot. Average should mean, average and that's what I am searching for. Someone who weighs in at around 225 lbs. is not average in my mind. While what is on the inside is extremely important to me a nice exterior wouldn't hurt any. I have met a few ladies who, well lets just say, weren't average sized gals. They were extremely beautiful on the inside but the exteriors did absolutely nothing for me. I just did not feel the spark, the magic. I was not physically attracted and there just weren't any violins playing. I was willing and more than able to be friends with these woman, and I did tell them honestly and upfront that there was nothing more I could offer other than friendship. Both told me to go to hell! Nice. Perhaps I should have told them they were overweight? One actually asked me to be honest and answer her question, "Is it because I am overweight?" I kept repeating no...no, that she wasn't overweight. Try to be a nice guy and it gets you nowhere.

#2 - Is a little problem I call the "Me first attitude!" When you first meet someone a friendship is where you should start. (I told you I was old fashioned!) You should both like similar things and topics, then build from there. There has to be a starting point right? Well, I am finding this to be truly a different logic than I feel comfortable with.

On two different occasions I was able to set up first dates with two different women. Both times, months apart in time I had the same problem breaking up the date. Both times one of my children became sick. Not with a simple case of the sniffles, once there was a 102 degree fever and the other was an asthma attack.

Gal "A" - I contacted her six hours prior to our engagement and explained my situation she immediately became irrate. She said that I should get a sitter anyway and that she was sure my son would be ok. How would she know this? Does she have an in with the Big Man Upstairs? When I asked her for a rain check, she blew me away with, "I wait for no man! I do not come second fiddle to any kids either, goodbye!" OK....lesson learned? Nope!

Gal "B" - The second "Me first attitude" episode was back in June when my other son has an asthma attack bad enough for a trip to the emergency room. On my way to the hospital I make a cell phone call and explain what is happening. I am told, now get this, she actually saids, "Where's your ex? Can't she take him to the hospital?"...Now say it with me, ready, "Me First!"

#3 - Sex!

Now this story is weird in a variety of ways. First of all I do not know of any other man on this wide green earth who would have walked away from this one. You be the judge.

On one particular night I was invited to meet two different women, both via emails. One asking me over for coffee and quiet conversation to get to know each other on her deck, and the other asking for a romantic dinner of sea food for the sex afterwards. Yep, she actually stated that to me in an email. A "sea food dinner for the sex afterwards!". I being the gentlemen that I am, and not ever having met or talked face to face with either woman at this point chose the coffee and quiet conversation over the clearly stated sex romp after dinner. The sex addict told me later to "go screw myself" and the other lady happened to be the story listed above as #1. But hey, I was still able to be proud of myself for being a gentleman and sticking to my convictions.

So tell me, PLEASE! Where am I going wrong? Should I actually begin investigating how to become a monk?

Waiting patiently for a sign of any kind....

Mike

Yo, I tried that already, seems like their is no one from the Island
here....but be careful of the scammers!!! Good Luck!

I guess there aren't any from Nassau County New York....I had to answer
my own topic and question.....

:(

G,

Your absolutely right on the head with this one. I answer all, like you
stated, then wait and wait and wait. I even ask them rather nicely, once
you look over my profile if your not interested please just reply "no
thanks" so that I may move on.

Nothing!

We are all in the same boat here, a community, we should all be caring
about each others feelings.....

Thanks G., for giving me the opportunity to get on my own soap box!

Mike

If your out there and are searching end your search, look me up....I
promise to be your teddy bear!

I think there are more than a few of us to choose from.....

Mike

This online thing is crazy. The girls that are gorgeous are fake and the
emails you get back are even worse. I got one from a caribean women
wanting to marry some american guy and inherit her fathers estate......

Mike