xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Thu 08/14/08 07:52 PM
You guys are gonna look at me like I'm retarded for this one, but it's a song called Sleeping Princess In Devil's Castle by the band Emmure, look up the lyrics, its a beautiful song

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Thu 08/14/08 03:14 PM

Non, I actually give a crap about my kids.


I have to agree somewhat, i dont have kids, but i know im going to care for them right, that and the fact im not abusive lol

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Mon 08/11/08 12:22 AM
I think im officially a college bum

yay for taco bell and late night comedy central reruns

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sun 08/10/08 04:51 PM







In what way was she using you?


she picked at me emotionally so she could just satisfy her own sexual needs then move on
were your sexual needs unsatisfied?


thats the thing, I don't have sexual needs lol
I focus more on the relationship aspect, and am more about gaining the heart rather than physical things
and yet you had sex with her.


no, we never made it to that point
i choose to keep my virginity... weird for an 18 year old guy i know, but i keep it safe

thats why im sad, she wanted nothing more than a one time stand after telling me to "getting attached is okay"
I must have misunderstood. You said she used you to satisfy her sexual needs and yet you never had sex with her.


well yes, her last message to me was "but we can still f***" at least to that degree, I wont display the whole message but that was the jist

and to me that hurts just a bit, I guess its because I really don't think of sex at all really.

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sun 08/10/08 04:43 PM





In what way was she using you?


she picked at me emotionally so she could just satisfy her own sexual needs then move on
were your sexual needs unsatisfied?


thats the thing, I don't have sexual needs lol
I focus more on the relationship aspect, and am more about gaining the heart rather than physical things
and yet you had sex with her.


no, we never made it to that point
i choose to keep my virginity... weird for an 18 year old guy i know, but i keep it safe

thats why im sad, she wanted nothing more than a one time stand after telling me to "getting attached is okay"

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sun 08/10/08 04:38 PM



In what way was she using you?


she picked at me emotionally so she could just satisfy her own sexual needs then move on
were your sexual needs unsatisfied?


thats the thing, I don't have sexual needs lol
I focus more on the relationship aspect, and am more about gaining the heart rather than physical things

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sun 08/10/08 04:18 PM

In what way was she using you?


she picked at me emotionally so she could just satisfy her own sexual needs then move on

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sun 08/10/08 02:59 PM
I'm just tired of being used, I hear all these nice things but because I've never really had a relationship, I end up eating it up despite what my head tells me.

My one dream was to finally dance with someone, to take cute pictures, yeah its stupid but its just a dream

and she played off of that, I just got the message a couple of minutes ago, sayin that she just entered a relationship today after saying she would come visit me so we can "make that dream come true" so to say.

I feel so stupid for letting this happen
She was like "well we might break up tomorrow lol you never know plus sweetie your 18 you need somone who is younger more at your level but i would still love to meet you and maybe even f*** you"

I do nothing but give, Yeah i keep myself in tact so I am safe, but, I am just the giving type,

my heads just in a rush, sorry folks =[

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sun 08/10/08 02:49 PM
"and we might break up tomorrow lol you never know plus sweetie your 18 you need somone who is younger more at your level but i would still love to meet you and maybe even f*** you"

this is really stupid, Is this all I am to people, just a moment? What happened to the promises made? If anyone wants to help me out, please do, I really am just kinda broken right now..... I feel so freakin stupid for opening up again...

"[I'll take] cute cuddling and kissing pictures with you :) "
"...ill drive and take some pictures with you "

the one thing that meant a lot to me,

"and you can get attached all you want <3 "

such naivety, and this is what I get, Im learning, Im tryin to, but just screw it, I'm off to practicing drums or something for a bit

If anyone really wants to help please do

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sun 08/10/08 01:29 PM

There must be a women involved. See they change the rules on you so there is no winning, there is no promise, no dream and yes it hurts....


But, I am sure they would say the same about us.......



Best we can hope is for is, lots of great sex.....



Did I say out loud???? I am so going to be beat up......


hahaha! Idk, I've never really had a "relationship" before, and I know a lot of you guys will say "But you're so young it'll happen!" and I know this, haha I've only been on like one date...so sex is probably the last thing on my mind lol

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sun 08/10/08 01:21 PM
thanks love, have a great one =]flowerforyou

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sun 08/10/08 01:16 PM
Why is it, it seems, that whenever you feel that you might just find your answer, something always seems to come up? Murphy's law right? Such amazing promises, amazing dreams, but, reality sets in sometimes, and it hurts ohwell

¿que sera sera no?

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sun 08/10/08 01:14 PM
We're here, but because of today's society, were shunned, and some of us are forced to "hide" so to say. It's sad but, this is what were coming to I suppose, the true romantics are being held back, and ignored

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sat 08/09/08 08:14 PM

:banana: this dance is for you

flowers


haha! thanks laugh that helped a lot

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sat 08/09/08 08:08 PM
-sigh-

Not that many of you know me, I guess I've just been kinda lonely lately. All my friends are either getting married or have wonderful relationships.... Everyone has these cute little pictures of snuggles and kisses

I know things will be okay and work themselves out haha, its just kinda discouraging at times....

My hugest dream in a relationship is to dance, I've never gotten to dance with anyone before.... so I guess I know its kinda lame to dream of that, but, its just me really.

I know they'll be okay eventually, but as I said, its still kinda discouraging.

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sat 08/09/08 02:31 PM

"The memories we kill
are the very ones we'll depend on"

Good write, I did not like the movie Solyent Green.bigsmile


haha no one really did, but its the principal of the matter bigsmile


xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sat 08/09/08 02:12 PM
This is a letter
of the one thought that guides me
the ideal principle of which i am based upon
to the one value i will never deflower

this is it....

take these words....

Heed them....

My love don't write your epitaph yet....
yet.... I'm still fighting
yet.... I'm still dreaming

This apocalyptic, anachronistic ending
Total regression of the mind....

The memories we kill
are the very ones we'll depend on

Save yourself from the shadows that mock me, let me take yours
Silence the laughter oh light

Just remember one fact, and then return to reality....
I am Soylent Green (as aforementioned)
Just mindlessly eating and om nom nomming

nom nom nomlaugh

Just a beautiful sound of flesh being ravaged
a peaceful noise...

Don't say I didn't warn you!

Don't say I never tried!

My blood hath shed for the light
Like a snake and it's skin

forgive......
forget.......

Live you mindless sheep
But don't take my light!

No....you'll keep drowning

My love.....

My star.....

I'll save you yet!


--------------------------------Mike Flowers

(So for those who have been paying attention, each poem/work ties into the previous one(s), so if some parts of this don't make sense, read the other works -- Mike)



xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sat 08/09/08 02:05 PM
=] =3 beautiful!flowerforyou flowerforyou

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Sat 08/09/08 01:45 PM
I have come to realize that this area is very boring lol, at least during the week

does anyone know of anything to do that would appeal to a guy who just moved out?

haha im kinda young i know, i just really want to get myself out there!bigsmile

xxAzriahtheBeastxx's photo
Fri 08/08/08 08:27 PM
Yeah I could deal being alone, but sometimes it would just feel nice to cuddle with someone so its not as cold

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