5 days and you haven't got a girlfriend yet!
Really? Something doesn't sound right to me?

Thank your higher power you didn't have to pull out your credit card to have your chain yanked, like pay sites do.

~esebulldog~lol but what does the fine print read and what are the symbols indicating what not to do? I can't make it out on my phone.

*Mouth drops open*
Certainly not with that attitude ..elk?..lol.. is that better.

LMAO

Yes that usually keeps then liking you.

If only we could do that when we greet woman..you know, instead of the hand shake ...hmmm
It would help

Answer # two

Post you threads in the appropriate category may help

Make her like me?
Make a mold,melt down some British Steel and attach an anvil to her leg for a life of hard work.

"Long cool woman in a black dress"
Your not hard to look at..but I'm not the one your looking for.
I would never get any work done .Forget the men and go model that body.

All the best young lady

ARE YOU MAKE FUN OF AN ANGRY DYSLEXIC...LMAO

Really! That's small to you woman?...lol jk no really I'm joking.

Thats got to be a doctored picture because its a mature lion and its balls haven't dropped yet. Not to mention the little tweetie bird sitting on top.
It actually looks like a little bird with two nuts under its wings; when I zoomed in.
Yes, I zoomed In

Just for a minute! Really? Wow! Your comming along kid..lol jk

You like jello in your boat?
You going to numb "the man in the boat"

@ Awatersign
Lmao

LMAO, oh that bad eh...lol
We wouldnt hold it against you, as long as they're consenting adults and you didn't chop 'em up into little pieces.

If a female cop ever reads you the Maranda warning..."You have the right to remain silent;
Anything you say and do can and will be held agains you" ..Don't miss the oportunnity.
Retort back with "BOOBS" and don't say another word...I'm not really a Lawyer but thats pretty sound legal advice...lol

You can leave with you front grill in a bag from a friendly game of hockey.

You didn't like the first one because you have a dishwasher a guess
Ok ..you go check the clothes and they're not done, the washer is just beginning the spin cycle the floor is unever from settlement over the year and the clothes are unbalanced in the machine and I come behind you...and notice you have a stacker
ok its scenario one we are roll playing and your doing dishes...ok does that work

Thanks for the flowers Leigh my heat and drool is and has been reserved for you for a while.
I want to be a sexual dominant non chauvinist.
I will run through the scenerio I mentioned;
Your doing dishes and I slowly press up behind you ever so gently and between running my lips up and down your neck and sucking your earlobe and you say "what are you doing " and I say "helping" and you say "you are, are ya" with a big smile on your face then I switch to an aggressive gear and then..... .... ... and here's the non chauvinist part; I clean up the broken glass latter. Ok deal? People say roles should be discussed before hand?

First post, tape measure scenario:
I press you against the sink counter and you say "OW DONT! You're preasing the tape measure into me. and I say "then take it off then"! and you say "No! why dont you get in front"!

You can't touch theese ones:
Locamotive Breath by Jethro tull. I have a styx cover right now which is heavier. There's also one done by a band called Halloween with a fast drum beat. Great memories to that song going up to the top of the world. I had a lead foot and would say to my friend " I just can't slow down and he would say "Cuz Charlie stole the handle" and i I would laugh but it would always go over my head but dispite driving to that tune 10 times a day. I guess I wasn't hearing the words it was like I was possessed.

Judas priest
"You got another thing comming

"Some heads are gunna roll is pretty good too
as well as Some ACDC
But nothing can touch those two for me

I want to take her from behind until we have no more dishes

Lots of variables.
I will want to help with dishes and cook some thing but depending on the woman
She may not be comfortable with some one in 'her area" and chase me out. I can take an order too.
If the kicken work is shared and I already started something then I would want to finish unless I needed help with something like how do you turn the oven on.

I dont like a woman too dominant walking around with a tape measure on her belt either ...she might find me out..
A little self depicating joke...no really!

"Its not the size of rod
Its the way you wiggle your worm"

Who says that? we know exactly who!
all the guys that don't comment on this post in agreeance, massaging my ego and saying;
"Yeah only guys with little peepees say that..isn't that right Pony? "Yeah only guys with little Peepees say that"!

What an excuse

Sh_t happens and crap occurs

(The guilt trip one) I tried my best..and I guess my best isn't good enough for you)


Click here to report spelling & grammer mistakes or call:

1-800-EAT-sh_t

Here's to the hole that never heals
The more you _ub it the better it feels

All the soap... on this side of hell
Could never get rid of that _ishy smell

Gentlemen!.. The Queen

Verse one's a fact.
Verse two's an excuse. (Probably not)