Zoe, I totally agree. Some of my friends feel I shouldn't be telling potential prospects about certain things, but then I see it differently. I feel the only way to know for sure the true character of someone I'm interested in is to tell them the truth about myself. If they don't leave after I tell them, then that would be cool. Sadly though I've never had that happen, but then I'm better off without women like that.

Thanks. Perhaps my jaded side will [wink]

Ah, finally, another who knows the truth.

"Quantum Entanglement" sounds like my last relationship.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Yes, you are.

Thanks, Day :)

[walks into thread...looks around....leaves]

Sorry, Headn'...I'm not into guys :)

I'm night and day from the person I used to be. I've been working out four days a week for the past year and it's made a huge difference in how I feel and obviously how I look. My ex saw me a couple weeks ago and came right up and hugged me. She said, "You look great!" I hugged her, then she hugged me again and it's a good thing we were in a public place because you could tell we were both thinking the same thing, lol.

Anyway, I've also made a lot of personal progress. I know I have God to thank for all of this, because if it wasn't for Him I would have slid off this twisted coil a long time ago. In the past year I've had to face a lot of things about myself. They weren't pretty, but it was good for me to see what I had to change and work on.

I have more friends now and I've noticed women noticing me more than ever before so there must be some obvious positive changes. My buddy said to me the other day, "You're not as gruffy as you used to be." I said, "Cool. I must be hiding it well then." We both laughed.

I smile more now than I used to, which is a good thing. Plus I started going to this great church where there's a lot of friendly folks to fellowship with. Plus I like to get involved in helping people and there's always plenty of that to do.

Yep, definitely a change for the better :)

LOL...I had a workshop once, but it wasn't to get away from a blathering woman; is what to give me something to do because she wouldn't blather with me.

In the summer of 2011 I tried to "get off the bus". This is just my of saying I tried to commit suicide. I have been writing almost as long as I've been drawing and I always write down things I am going through. I wrote this a couple months before I tried getting off the bus and since the best writing usually comes out of darkness and pain I wanted to share it here. Perhaps someone else is struggling out there and they will be able to relate.

I do want to offer this suggestion: if you are feeling like I was it is always therapeutic to write your feelings down. Don't feel bad about it and if you need to talk to someone then please do. A lot of people feel like this and there's no harm (or shame) in letting other people know.

There is some personal stuff in here, but they talk about sex and being Bi on this forum so this shouldn't freak anyone out.

================================================================

RAIN DANCES


Recently I had one of those moments that come on the verge of waking up ... I realized that I was going nowhere. Needless to say this woke me right up, as those half-waking moments of crystal clear thought usually do. With that realization came another, like a gust of wind blowing along a field of grass; all the years I spent wading through self doubt, social anxiety, and acceptance had wrought me to where I am right now.

Nowhere.

I know my biggest problem is lack of initiative. No matter how hard I try I can never seem to get myself motivated. I am often reminded of Elijah, up there on Mt. Carmel, praying for rain. He prayed seven times, and each time he would send his servant off to look for rain. His servant returned six times with the bad news, "There is nothing." Then finally, on the seventh try, "There is a cloud, as small as a man's hand, rising out of the sea!"

I'm also reminded of the Indians. They showed the same persistence when they held their ceremonial rain dances. They did not stop until the rains came, even if it took days. Like the prophet Elijah they held stedfast, never wavering, holding fast to their belief that, eventually, the rains would come.

Here in Michigan we have many Indian tribes. I often imagine the Chippewa or the Menominee gathered around a roaring fire on the shores of Gitchee Gumee, their chanting echoing throughout the great undisturbed expanse of the U.P. Night and day, the fire burns, and they would dance. They would not stop until the rains came. This is what it means to have drive, ambition, an unfettered desire to see something through to the end.

God, give me this ....

It pains me to know I have a natural born talent and that it is basically going to waste. I have been drawing things since I was a kid. My mother used to keep the wrinkled old pages from a coloring book and show them to friends. "See," she would say, smiling brightly, holding up the pages. "And the amazing thing is he never colored a one outside the lines." I guess this was amazing, as I learned in later years, considering I was only three years old when I did this.

I won't go into any details, but I was born with a rare endochronological disorder called Klinefelter's Syndrome. It is this handicap which has cause a great deal of my problems throughout my life. Because of it I can only do certain jobs (like my current crappy hotel one), and these type of jobs usually do not offer insurance or benefits of any kind. So it has been difficult to get certain things taken care of. I had a regular doctor once, a specialist, back when I was first diagnosed with this syndrome (I was twenty years old). He was giving me weekly injections of a couple drugs (I don't recall the names). Medicaid was paying for this, but unfortunately when I turned twenty-one Medicaid dropped me, and I got a little behind trying to pay for them myself. Since I could no longer afford the medicine the doctor refused to see me anymore. So much for the Hippocratic Oath, eh? More like the Hypocritic oath, if you ask me.

So ... here I am. I get up every day and just wade through the hours. Because I have been off the medication for so long I am always tired and listless, common side effects of the syndrome. Being this way does not motivate me to do much. I try not to think too far into the future, if I can help it. It's dark, and dangerous, down that way. I look out the window as I am typing this. It is snowing again, late into February. The sky is not smiling, either. I am tired, as always. I do not have the strength or the drive to dance. And I wonder ...

... will the rain ever come?

================================================================

The same can be said for older men.

I had that with my ex and then with this gal I was just with and now they're both gone. So that doesn't apply to everyone.

[gets up, stretches, looks out at out at the snow, grins as he walks five feet to his office....]

Just watched Wreckit Ralph last night. My niece has been urging me to watch it and I finally did. It was awesome! I'm from the 8-bit generation so I really enjoyed it. Looks like Disney took a few cues from Pixar on this one.

I just thought it was the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principal.

Her account has been deactivated, so I guess she didn't find the perfect man here.

Upgrade to Windows 7—it has better parental controls.

Hey Hubba, I'm sorry to hear this—aand they say us guys are bad, eh?