Poke Poke, cough sorry im here sir.... Seamen hull reporting for duty sir! >_0

Im not really sure what the point of this post is, maybe there is no point ladies and gentlemen. And not just to this post but alot of things seem to have no real valid point in this world. For example take cats. Cats while they make great pets have no real use. Yes they catch mice occasionally but its more of a myth than you will likely ever see a cat chase a mouse regularly. Take also for example history, we try our best to preserve it without realizing we will not be the last to dig up ruins of civilizations etc. Some day all of this will crumble and humans if we survive said destructive event will rebuild over time, or maybe not.

Christmas came and went this year rather quickly, have you ever felt that brief moment of dread over a holiday. Not because of the people or the wasteful spending or shopping. Or even the obnoxiously bright snow. But just the fact that while others are happy you again are miserable. For lack of better recognition you again are to blame for your loneliness and again you are trapped with the unsettling reality that this is all you have. Your small apartment you pay to much for that youve given up on cleaning for the simple fact no one besides you ever see's it. Spilled bong water overflowing ash trays theres nothing else to see or say. You are utterly alone.

Some times I go for walks at night, not to any were piticular but just randomly walk around. Than you find your self standing at a street corner watching the suns first raise shine over the hills and light begins to emerge from the corners spreading violently down onto the pure glistening frozen streets of Sweet Home Oregon. Thats the one moment that you realize that its ok. All things really do have a purpose and some times that purpose is to make us realize the purpose of other things and to not focus on the details of the task filled days and endless and yet again pointless conversations you will more than likely encounter through your day to come. You look at your watch its 5:15 AM Super Bowel Sunday morning. The first morning Ill actually remember ten years from now. Not one before or sense will be as beautiful and show me that I like every thing else am filled with the certainty that some thing annoying will happen today so enjoy the quiet moment while it lasts.

Fake smiles and morning laughs through strangled yawns wake to early birds dawn. I just made that up, and I dnt even want to begin explaining what the **** it means. I do know one thing though. Who ever has acctually taken the time to read this I am thankfull to you. You are the first person as of today who has listened to me or in this case read me... Like a book

N.D.D.

P.S. To who ever I will someday love, a heads up thank you for tolerating this rant if you ever see it. As for the rest of you . . .

Michel Jackson

Who should really be in charge of this world? besides me... I allready know I should be in charge, you dnt have to keep telling me how great I am in the fan mail so please dont say me.!

Hit him with a frying pan untill he eather A: stops chewing that way, B: You break his jaw ending the chewing, or my fav C: he stops breathing, wich solves all ur problems and me and u can run off to Europe...

Thanks, atleast some one remembered ;)

Fed up with life in general, you? Not a single person family or other called on my birth day... -_-...

All I have is a small fridge so no freezing for me.. :(

It scares me that no one yeat has asked why he wants to freeze a body O_O

Whats got u unsettled...?

I got to walk a dog today... :/

Slaps *** *good game*

Shouldve stayed there then O-o atleast id be warm..

So ready for summer allready this cold sucks. If it isnt snowing it should not be cold.

I dnk what to do, My girl took off from her place yeasterday and hasnt called me... I dnk what I did we had a smal and I mean very small disagreement the night before when my granpa has a mini stroke I ws tired and didnt want to talk that was it. Yeasterday in the morning when she called she was I dnk distant I could feel some thing was about to happen. now shes taken off she left her aunt a note and that was it she gave her a call when she got to the train station and sayed she was going some were far away. WHAT DO I DO.. the police wont help cause shes over age... her friends have no clue. Im lost I was soppoused to fly out in october to be with her now shes up and gone..

I feel like part of me is dieing ><

I don't think he was being rude or twisted, Hell I've asked people that. I mean I think you've taken his question out of context, sounds to me he may have been asking do u have room mates or kids or w/e a simple casual talk kind of thing... Now as I dnk u and dnk him and didnt see the e-mail I'm not sure..

I do know I have asked people that before early on... and I didnt mean Jack by it just curious.

You’re not here

(Opening)
I’m trying to live my life
But the fact is I’m blind
I try to make you see my side
I speak only truth
Just stop the hiding
Please stop the fighting
Live with it
Just live with it
You try to rape me
But that’s the biggest part of this.
If you are here I wouldn’t know
You slam the door on my heart long ago
And all these things you’ve left behind
But you’re not here
You’re not here
Not here

(Chorus)
They try to fill you head with lies
To inspire hate in your eyes
I try to make you see my side
But you can’t see what they do
What they do
What they do

(Main)
I’m getting tired of your ****
What do you want from me?
I can’t deal with this
All the things you left behind
You’re not there
You’re not here
All the things you did to my life
You’re not here!

(Chorus)
If you are in my life I’m unaware
I can’t take it right now your not here
You’re never there for me
You’re not here to see
You’re never here to see me ache
Never here to hear my heart break

(Main)
And all these things you’ve left behind
But you’re not here
You’re not here
Not here
Love changes every thing
And through this life I am blind
But you don’t care
You’re not here
You’re not here at all


Random writing of depression :O wasnt feeling to good last night

I dnk if I believe in it, causeost women I know are fine, som are just naturally mean and use it as an excuse to be a pain.

LOL.....No.... MINES! Growls!

SItting outside talking to my girl. You?