A man goes to a brothel and tells the madam he'd like to get screwed so she sends him out back to a little shack. The man knocks on the door and a woman answers through the door "Can I help you"? He answers " I want to get screwed". She replies "slide a twenty underneath the door". He does this and waits for a long while but nothing happens. He knocks again and repeats "hey, I'm here to get screwed". The woman replies "What, again"?

An older couple went to the doctor for his annual checkup. The doctor told the man he needed an urine sample, a semen sample, and a stool sample. The old man was hard of hearing so he turned to his wife and asked "what did he say"? The mans wife said "He needs a pair of your underwear".

What do you call a blonde doing cartwheels?
Blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, etc.

A blonde, a brunette ,and a redhead are all out in a farmers watermelon patch eating watermelons late at night. The farmer hears the ruckus and immediately yells "I'll get you. The scared women run into the barn and each hide themselves in a tote sack. The farmer comes into the barn and sees movement in the sacks. He kicks the first sack and the brunette says "Meow". The farmer guesses it must be a cat. He then kicks the second sack and the redhead says "ruoof".
The farmer guesses it must be a dog. He kicks the final sack and the blonde yells "Potatoe"

What do older woman and dog poop have in common?
The older they are the easier they are to pick up.

Hear about the weatherman that was kicked out of meteorology school for cheating?
He got caught looking out the window.

Why do they give old men in nursing homes Viagra?
Keeps them from rolling out of bed at night

A man goes into a brothel and tells the madam all he has ever done was missionary and he wants to try something different. The madam says I've got just the girl for you.
Go upstairs, second door on the right and tell Betty Lou your there for 69. He does this and when Betty Lou comes to the door he says he's here for 69 but he does not know what that is. She grabs him by the hand saying come on in your gonna love it. She explains to him that they'll get naked lay opposite each other and give each other oral sex. They do this with the girl on top. A few minutes into it Betty Lou farts in the guys face. He shrugs it off because he is enjoying himself. A few minutes later she does it again. This time he throws her off of him. She asks "What's wrong honey". He replies " I'm sorry but I don't think I can take 67 more of them.

the two main ingredients of Viagra?
Fix a flat and miracle grow

Wow. How can I help?

Hey Insecure. I'm guessing we are all not happy in some way or another. Its why we are here. We are unhappy with our relationship status, but bold enough to do something about it.