The daydreams do change my situation. It changes it by making me less uptight about the whole thing.

In fact, I had to decide at age twenty-five, after about five unsuccessful suicide attempts, whether I should continue with my then current lifestyle, or take up humour as a hobby.

When you can laugh at your own jokes, and then later, years later, when others start to laugh at your jokes, then the issue of "hope" loses a lot of its edge.

My recipe.

1. I have no friends, never had any.

2. Colleagues couldn't care less whether I eat breakfast with King Kong and do the rhumba with Eva Braun.

3. My family is too painfully aware why this I never got married. Esp. my exes and the grandchildren.

Why do I think I am single? I loved my wife too much. I knew she'd be incomparably better off if I never married her.

In fact, she is still completely unaware of my existence. Her name is Raquel Welch, then she anglocised it to Morgan Fairchild in the seventies.

Have you ever is the name of the game.