thanks to everyone for posting your thoughts and advice. good to know that people have gone through the same things as myself, and have the wisdom and experience to share their thoughts.

thanks everyone!

fake it till you make it!
pretend to trust....until you really can do it on your own

haha no in all sincerity....while the above will work, its probably better to just be cautious. just remember, you have to give some to get some.

Yeah i forgot to mention she was 21....And thank you for being honest with me. I appreciate it.

ok well lets see where do i start....sorry if this is a bit long, but i think ppl need to know all this to be able to help me out.

Well this girl was my first GF and i was her first BF. We were our first everything (lets just put it that way) ;-)

In the beginning everything was great....then a year passed. I started getting into a routine with her. I know that part was my fault. I would only take her to certain places.

Now, im not much of a drinker or party person, and i cant dance to save my life lol, but she started changing. Somehow i think her friends had something to do with the changes, because when i first met her she was really shy and a nice girl. When i started talking to her, i had to bring her out of her shell. Later on she started hanging out with her friends more and dumping me on the side. On a side note, i treated her like a queen. I gave her alot of things...and knowing that she was in a financial bind, i helped her out when i could, financially. Near the end though, i felt like i wasnt helping her by giving her money, so i told her that i wanted her to become responsible with her expenses, and that i wasnt goin to give her anymore money.

I thought every thing was great....then she told me that a guy was talking to her on Myspace. She has had other guys talk to her before, but it started to get more and more frequent. finally i told her, " i dont want you to talk to this guy. Can you please stop?" she said yes...Then she asked for some time apart to do things she wanted to do. She came back a week later and told me that she was still talking to the guy, and that they had gone out once as "friends", even though she had said she would stop....so the way i see it, she lied to me.

Things went on like this for the next couple of months. she said she still cared, she didtn want to hurt me or leave me. I felt like she wanted to have me on the side for ...whatever reason, and be going out with this guy too.

She never broke up with me, to be honest. She would only say,"I think its BETTER if we break up." but she never positvely said "im breakin up with you."

after about a week of her giving me false hopes, saying she was gonna stop talkin to the guy and come back to me, and acting like if everything was back to normal (kissing, hugging, etc.), I finally told her," i cant take this anymore im gonna leave you alone now." It hurt me alot because i didnt want it to come to that. I wanted to stay with her, but she told me she just didnt feel the same and that she was starting to like this guy more and more (obviously), but she said she was still confused. So i let her go.

The first few days i felt like total crap. I felt so depressed, and was wondering if she was gonna come back. After i accepted the possibility that she may not come back, i felt a little better. Near the end of the first week that i hadnt spoken to her, she texted just random things. Things that i would have cared about if she were still with me. so i just acted like i was busy, because i really didnt want to talk to her. I wanted to move forward in my life. Then this past friday, she called me, and asked me what i was doing. I asked her why she called. She simply answered taht she was just wondering what i was doing. I said i was working. Then she said oh ok well i gtg too, so ill call you later.

She called me back a few hours later and said hey and made small talk. she spoke about somethings she had done with the other guy. Although she never mentioned she did those things because of him, but i knew that she was with him, cuz she never did those kinda things before. I told her that i didnt want to talk to her because i was tryin to get over her and she wasnt helping me and i couldnt bear the fact that the person i cared about was doing things with some one else. she got upset at that, and stopped talking with me.
That night, i talked to my youth pastor. he told me that i had two options. one, i could wallow in my sorrow and feel bad that this happened, or two, decide to move on.

Saturday morning i felt like crap, and decided to get my closure. i went to her house and spoke to her mother for about 45 mins before actually speakin with her. then she came out, and she gave me the worst attitude that i never thought she had! I know it was all an act though. When she came out like that, i let my emotions get the best of me and starting saying some things that maybe i shouldnt have said. anyways...she gave me my answers, some of them at least. i went back home, deleted her phone number from my phone, all her pictures from my phone and myspace, and deleted her from my myspace friends.

its been 1 week since i stopped talkin to her. the last contact i had with her was on monday. I felt like i was moving on and called her, and she actually answered her fone. I told her, "you know what? i wanted to apoligize for some of the things i said on saturday. I also wanted to thank you because you showed me some of the things that messed up our relationship and that i know to fix for my next GF."
I wished her the best of luck with the other guy, if thats what she really wanted. then promptly said, goodbye and good luck.

havent spoken to her since, but ive had the temptation to want to add her back to my friends list. ive been checking her page occasionally (though its set on private so i cant see much), and yesterday i noticed she changed her headline to something really weird. it says "oh my love, my mind is gone"
no idea but this girl just seems to get stranger and stranger...

now my question(s) !

what do you guys think about this whole thing?
was it right for her to do that to me?
Was it right for me to walk away?
Do you guys think that shell realize her feelings for me and come back?
If she does comes back, should i take her back? why? or why not?

now, let me point out that im not waiting for her, (obviously not if im on a dating site :-) ), but ive thought about taking her back if shes ready to be serious with me, and of course, if i dont have anyone else.

Any advice, suggestions, or comments are welcomed and appreciated. I hope someone can give me their thoughts on this. sorry for the long post