man........ some of these are lame.....lol




Are you ready for the most orgasmic unrepeteable night of sex of your life? NO? well would you mind lying down so i could have one?


**** me if im wrong but didnt you say you wanted to suck me all night long?


Hey, wanna go back to my place for a pizza and a ****? no? what, don't like pizza?


Do you know why nice guys like me finish always finish last? we believe our women should Always *** first!!!!

not where i thought it was going but damn funny....lol

see this is whats wrong with most people...it was a ****ing joke...it was kinda funny, but you all are taking it waaaaaay to serious...jesus have a freaking laugh once in a while... take the proverbial sticks out of your asses.....damn funny joke dude

how about we go to my place for a pizza and a ****? what you dont like pizza?

**** me if im wrong, but you wanna blow me dont you?

how about i treat you like a blizzard? i'll give you 8 to 10 inches and leave you stuck in your house for the weekend.

are you ready for the most orgasmic unrepeatable night of sex in your life? mind lying down so i can have one?

"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar. "How do you know?" the friend asked. "She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she'd spent the night with her sister, Shirley." "So?" the friend replied. "So, she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister Shirley!"

There were three prostitutes living together, a mother, daughter and grandmother. One night the daughter came home looking very down. "How did you get on tonight Dear?" asked her mother. "Not too good," replied the daughter. "I only got $20 for a blow job." "Wow!" said the mother, "In my day we gave a blow job for 50 cents!" "Good God!" said the Grandmother. "In my day we were just glad to get something warm in our stomachs!"

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time. "The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis ... fifty times"

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard.
"

yo momma is so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck...


yo momma is so fat the back of her neck looks like a package of hot dogs...


yo momma is so fat her high school yearbook photo was an ariel photo...


yo momma is so fat she had to take her passpot photo with a satillite...


yo momma is so she cant even jump to a conclussion...


yo momma is so ugly she uses a line of make up called "why bother"....

are you free tonight or will it cost me?


you might as well have sex with me, i am going to tell everyone we did anyway



wanna play vacation? your right leg is christmas, your left leg is new years, and i will come visit you between the holidays


a womans legs are best of friends, but someday even the best of friends must part



the word for today is legs.....would you like to help me spread the word?



lets play m and m's i will meltin your mouth and not in your hand...


I know i can't have your cherry, but can i have the box it came in?

are you ready for the most orgasmic unrepeatable night of sex in your life? no? well would you mind laying down so i could have one?


fuc* me if i'm wrong. but you wanna blow me dont you?


fuc* me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name tom?


do you know what the difference between a big mac and a blo job is? no? wanna have lunch sometime?

this is how the last verse to the song before he cheats should go...its what happens when he leaves and sees his truck....


right now, the bar is closing up and I headed to my turck with some beach blonde fluzy.Right now I see the
damage you did my knees get weak my stamache gets woozy. Right now I know youre at your best friends
house talking about all the **** you did to me......oh but you dont know............that I'm taking this *****
back to your house, where she'll suck my **** on your brand new couch, then I'll take her back to bedroom
where you sleep....then i'll ram my **** in between her thighs...I'll watch her shake as she rollin her eyes...
maybe next time you'll think...before you **** with me.....

is it tomorrow?

you just pick it up

Where as it is not my particular taste....I do observe others rights to post this and pretty much what else they want to post, and if you paid attention in millitary school you would also know that the soldier fights to defend the rights of dumasses like that to say that kind of **** and are not offended by it, taking a small sense of pride in that their actions are the reason that people like that can say those things.....

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

S h e turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian.. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

ask the captain of the boat it fell into fo rit back.... and no i dont look these up, my grandfather told me these when i was a teenager like everyday, i remember most of them from there

your word

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