Ditto on that!!! Spanking is such a double edged-sword. You are damned if you do it and damned if you don't do it. I have seen parents who try to "reason" with their kids and never give them that ultimatum (spanking). Their kids walk all over them and are constantly pushing their limits. There comes a time when you have to let the child know who is the parent & the one in charge, or else. I believe that this discipline method works only when used as rarely as possible to children who are younger than 6 years old. I have 3 kids who all got the occasional spank on the butt when they were being deliberately defiant, and were always first warned that they would get a spanking if they did not behave. This was usually when they were completely out of control or being aggressive with me or a sibling. I found that the threat of a spanking was usually more useful than the spanking itself. Time outs can be most helpful to effectively calm the child and parent, and diffuse whatever caused the situation in the first place. Like anything else, one thing may work, while the other does not. It really is a judgement call by the parent. I do agree, however that frequent spanking can lead to more aggressive behavior, by both parent & child. So spanking as a last resort is extremely important. And it should NEVER leave a mark, or that could be construed as abuse.

Most illegal immigrants barely make minimum wage (usually not), work really hard for cash for total jerk employers with no benefits of any kind, in really cr_ppy jobs that most U.S. citizens don't want to work that hard for so little. No, it is not fair that they don't pay taxes, but if they did, they would make so little, that they probaly wouldn't come here to work to begin with. My mother is from Mexico, & she came here legally with a greencard, when she was 13, many years ago. She is now a U.S. citizen & has had her own daycare business for over 25 years. And yes, she does pay taxes, lots of them, and works hard too. Immigrants that come to our country, the right way-legally, pay their dues, stay here their whole lives, learn the language, become Americans and pay their taxes, are most welcome. The others that don't, deserve nothing more than our pity and ticket back home.

Hey Shirley !!!
Wait, wait, wait !!! Until you know this person extremely well, for at least six months to a year, even. If it is serious enough for you to want your children to know this person, check them out THOROUGHLY. I hate to sound paranoid, but there are some strangos (that may seem like decent guys) out there, that you need to make sure aren't going to come into contact with your children. I think if it was me, and I was getting serious about someone new (AFTER the back ground check, that is), I would invite this person, AS A FRIEND, to some kind of family/social function or party, where it is not just you, him and the kids, so that there is no pressure on the kids to accept him. Then after several times that they have seen him, and are fairly used to him, maybe invite him on a family/group outing (with maybe a couple of other people that you know), as a FRIEND. DO NOT confuse your kids by having this guy come over for dinner, or anything too intimate, until you are pretty certain that he is going to be a PERMANENT part of your life. And even then, take it extremely slow. Especially, don't have him spending the night or moving in, or any of that kind of cr_p. (I have a sister who did this with her kid 3-4 different times, which was SOOO wrong!!) Good Luck !!!