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Topic:
Heartbreak
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Obviously, I dont know you, but from what youve said, it sounds like you walked thru this relationship with blinders on. If it was a complete surprise to you, maybe you were not paying enough attention. If you are still on speaking terms, maybe you could ask about that. I know I dated someone who didnt hear much of anything I said, and assumed what I felt about things even when I gave him contradicting information. It was like I didnt exist except for in his own imagination. I was no more than an amalgamation of what he believed women to be. He couldnt, or wouldnt, see me for me. You are right. I exaggerated a little, I mean I knew we weren't the perfect couple, we fought. But I mean Up until a month before we broke up I thought we were on the same page. We talked all the time about us and the future. I think what upsets me the most is that when I would ask if her if she wanted to be with me, she always said yes. I know I will get over it, I mean I already have. I just can't help to think: "what if I had done something differently......" We talked about getting married, but I think untimely I have realized that it was never going to wok out. In the end I was too nice, sensitive, sweet and loving instead of: mesteriouse, cocky, confident. I know the right person is out there for me, I just don't like to wait. :) Thanks to everyone for the replies. I'm sure I sound lame complaining about the past.... Sometimes people are a little weak, or a little immature, and instead of telling the truth, they tell you what you want to hear. Maybe she was like that. I wonder what you think you could have done differently. Or maybe she was wondering why you didnt ask her to marry you and got tired of waiting? I hear 3.5yrs is a long time if you want to get married. She may have lost attraction if she thought you werent interested in sealing the deal. Im obviously groping in the dark, just throwing ideas around. |
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Topic:
Heartbreak
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Obviously, I dont know you, but from what youve said, it sounds like you walked thru this relationship with blinders on. If it was a complete surprise to you, maybe you were not paying enough attention. If you are still on speaking terms, maybe you could ask about that. I know I dated someone who didnt hear much of anything I said, and assumed what I felt about things even when I gave him contradicting information. It was like I didnt exist except for in his own imagination. I was no more than an amalgamation of what he believed women to be. He couldnt, or wouldnt, see me for me. You are right. I exaggerated a little, I mean I knew we weren't the perfect couple, we fought. But I mean Up until a month before we broke up I thought we were on the same page. We talked all the time about us and the future. I think what upsets me the most is that when I would ask if her if she wanted to be with me, she always said yes. I know I will get over it, I mean I already have. I just can't help to think: "what if I had done something differently......" |
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Topic:
Heartbreak
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Thank you all for your responses they meant alot to me. I know that things will change. I've been through this before. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong, or if it's just that I haven't found her yet....
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Topic:
Heartbreak
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Allow yourself time to FULLY HEAL FIRST , before you continue in the friendship with her; otherwise, trying to maintain a friendship with her now, will completely devastate you( especially if you deeply loved her )....contact with her will prevent you from healing and moving on with your life. Later on, AFTER you are fully healed, is the time to continue the friendship (if you both still wish to). But maintaining no contact is always best during the healing process .....take all the time you need to get yourself healed now. 
Thank you you are too sweet. I do need to be a little more selfish and think of myself more often.
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Topic:
Heartbreak
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My heart hit the floor for you when I saw this! I think you have learned to give it all (or at least be open to falling in love)and that is the best news that comes from this. Now it's time to find the one who wants to do the same together with you. Always love her and the time you have had. Now take what you have learned and be true to your heart once again and find that girl and let her find you. Until you put it this way I never really realized that I was doing the right thing by leading with my heart. I don't really know what to say except that your words really meant alot to me. Thank you. |
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Topic:
Heartbreak
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I am very sorry that happened to you. I think we have all suffered a terrible heartbreak at one time or another and it really sucks.  
Time heals these wounds. I know it sounds cliche, but it really is true. I doubt it would be a good idea to stay best friends with her since you had such a long relationship. It will only make it that much harder for you to move on. I would cut all ties, take some time for myself and focus on the future. Good luck to you.
Thank you! It is really true time heals all wounds. I hope you are having a wonderful day/night! 
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Topic:
Heartbreak
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I guess the only real advice I have is when you do move on and begin to see another woman, do not dishonor her by clinging to this past relationship... Thank you or your response. I would never want to hurt another, when I move on I will not be clinging to the past. I think the main reason for my post was that I was so confused...still am really. |
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Topic:
Heartbreak
Edited by
Shagstien
on
Thu 11/17/11 07:35 PM
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Hey everyone!
This is my first post here. 7 months, ago my now ex-girlfriend broke up with me after dating for over 3.5 years. She said that she felt like we had become friends and she was no longer attracted to me. I was devastated, here was my best friend who an hour ago I thought I was going to be with forever and the next it's over. She wants us to still be best friends though. It's been a tough 7 months and I'm still trying to pick myself up. She's been seeing a new guy fora couple of months. When I found out I was heartbroken. Im not mad at her, you cant control the heart. I have a question for the women out there (men to if you can relate) Have you ever been in this situation? Did you ever think you made a mistake? Should I try and stay best friend's with her? Is it because I'm too nice? I apologize for the silly post, it would just be nice to talk to someone about this. Unfortunately she was my best and only friend here in LA where we moved tougher. we lived together and shared everything and now I don't really have anyone to talk to about this. Shagstien PS: It's not that I'm ugly, I think I'm actually pretty hot ;) I Will send you a pic if you want proof. |
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