Hey everyone!

This is my first post here. 7 months, ago my now ex-girlfriend broke up with me after dating for over 3.5 years. She said that she felt like we had become friends and she was no longer attracted to me. I was devastated, here was my best friend who an hour ago I thought I was going to be with forever and the next it's over. She wants us to still be best friends though. It's been a tough 7 months and I'm still trying to pick myself up. She's been seeing a new guy fora couple of months. When I found out I was heartbroken. Im not mad at her, you cant control the heart. I have a question for the women out there (men to if you can relate) Have you ever been in this situation? Did you ever think you made a mistake? Should I try and stay best friend's with her? Is it because I'm too nice?

I apologize for the silly post, it would just be nice to talk to someone about this. Unfortunately she was my best and only friend here in LA where we moved tougher. we lived together and shared everything and now I don't really have anyone to talk to about this.

Shagstien

PS: It's not that I'm ugly, I think I'm actually pretty hot ;) I Will send you a pic if you want proof.

I want proof! kidding! I really don't care about that

follow your heart. remain friends if u wish. or move on. or wait until you feel ready to move on

your gut will tell you what to do & what is really best for you - do it

(my guess is that u already know many of these answers to the questions you have)


I guess the only real advice I have is when you do move on and begin to see another woman, do not dishonor her by clinging to this past relationship

and that I think it is hard to err when leading with he heart

good luck

and welcome

I am very sorry that happened to you. I think we have all suffered a terrible heartbreak at one time or another and it really sucks.

Time heals these wounds. I know it sounds cliche, but it really is true. I doubt it would be a good idea to stay best friends with her since you had such a long relationship. It will only make it that much harder for you to move on. I would cut all ties, take some time for myself and focus on the future. Good luck to you.

My heart hit the floor for you when I saw this!

I think you have learned to give it all (or at least be open to falling in love)and that is the best news that comes from this. Now it's time to find the one who wants to do the same together with you. Always love her and the time you have had. Now take what you have learned and be true to your heart once again and find that girl and let her find you.

Allow yourself time to FULLY HEAL FIRST , before you

continue in the friendship with her; otherwise, trying to

maintain a friendship with her now, will completely

devastate you( especially if you deeply loved

her )....contact with her will prevent you from healing and

moving on with your life.


Later on, AFTER you are fully healed, is the time to continue

the friendship (if you both still wish to).


But maintaining no contact is always best during the healing

process .....take all the time you need

to get yourself healed now.

Thank you or your response. I would never want to hurt another, when I move on I will not be clinging to the past. I think the main reason for my post was that I was so confused...still am really.

Thank you! It is really true time heals all wounds. I hope you are having a wonderful day/night!

Until you put it this way I never really realized that I was doing the right thing by leading with my heart. I don't really know what to say except that your words really meant alot to me. Thank you.

Thank you you are too sweet. I do need to be a little more selfish and think of myself more often.

Thank you all for your responses they meant alot to me. I know that things will change. I've been through this before. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong, or if it's just that I haven't found her yet....

You need time to heal before you can make decisions about how you will continue with your previous love. You need to make friends and start living outside of the bubble you were in. I empathize with you.

As the High Priestess of Brutal Truth and Honesty I will tell you what I think.

Its probably about sex. She found someone she was sexually attracted to and had chemistry with.

My advice.... Quickly move on.

Remain polite "friends" but not "best friends."

The next woman you start going with deserves your full attention and she is not going to appreciate you being best friends with your ex.

Find someone hot.

Hotter than her.

Distract yourself with a hot romance of your own.

Enjoy your life!!

Time to heal?

Don't waste more than a month in mourning.

Move on. Life is short.

Oh well, its worth repeating.

Relationships, in reality, become friendships and companionships over time. The passions burn away for one another and settle into that companionship and affection for one another. It's harder to stay together, rather than drift apart. It takes courage, fortitude, and strength to travel through life with a partner. I hope you find your love one day and keep searching for the one that wants a lifetime over a few moments in history. Good luck to you.

most of us are confused. one of my favorite professors taught me many years ago that confusion simply means that we are learning

hence I really do believe that the answers to the questions you have are within you

You are right. I exaggerated a little, I mean I knew we weren't the perfect couple, we fought. But I mean Up until a month before we broke up I thought we were on the same page. We talked all the time about us and the future. I think what upsets me the most is that when I would ask if her if she wanted to be with me, she always said yes. I know I will get over it, I mean I already have. I just can't help to think: "what if I had done something differently......"

Sometimes a flame just dies.

People have to reach for extraordinary things, new adventures, meet new people, grow....

This could be a good thing for you both.

I've been in such a situation as this before, but my advice to you is to move on and leave your past behind. She's already happy with someone else, why not let it be that way and move on with your life too? It might be hard but it's just the plan truth.