if u give a gift to a person you have not already made a significant connection with (like a first date person, for example), you will make them feel a lot better about THEMSELVES (which is why all the women are saying yes yes do it do it) but it will actually make her lose respect for you, whether she knows it or not.

You will be demonstrating that you are "easy" and therefore less of a man, or however you wanna phrase it. You WILL come off as desperate - I don't care who says otherwise.

It's like a woman who gives up sex too easily. It's a really exciting proposition at first so youre all like YES YES ITS GREAT IF A WOMAN GIVE UP SEX EARLIER... but after you get it early, you lose a little respect for her. It's the same thing the other way around, except replace sex with gifts and resources.

ugh.

ladies, LOOK AT HOW MEN DEFINE "NICE" AND REALIZE... that it's not the true definition. and stop telling men to be "nice guys."

It's nothing short of prostitution.

Men are brainwashed into thinking that they have to be nice by sacrificing resources by giving gifts to women in exchange for EMOTIONS.

Can your true feelings be BOUGHT? No! You can buy that simulation and stimulation off the street from a hooker.

To attract real women, be a real man.

LMAO! You are such a PLAYER, AllSmilesInTulsa! That was hillarious and awesome.

high five.

Well, then here's a better and more accurate (yet similar) expression:

Nice guys finish in a tissue.

Ha.

It's much better for the girl if the guy is too nice than if he is a complete asshole.

Why? A guy who acts like an asshole is more sexually attractive to her than a "nice guy," and she doesn't like the fact that she's drawn toward a negative influence.

It's "better" for a guy to be an asshole than a to be a nice guy if he just wants sex...that elusive connection that nice guys almost never experience...

...but forget these polar opposites. Screw the extremes. Don't be a doormat and don't be a douche. Instead, find balance. Being a "nice guy" is just as bad as being an asshole. From the female perspective, she invests no feelings of attachment to the nice guy so it seems like its better for him to be "nice" ...when in reality both of those extremes are self-destructive to the male, where the "nice guy" doesn't get what he wants while the asshole does.

What passiespel said is an example of a tiny piece of social programming designed to bring down innate male aspirations (having sexual opportunity) by promoting that which can never be potentially sexually attractive behavior, which gives women the illusion of choice... when in reality its just degrading masculinity and therefore ultimately lowering society's propensity for sex. Yeah, that kinda pisses me off.

Women who tend to promote "nice guy" behavior are unfortunately oftentimes victims of past abuse - whether it be physical or emotional - from "assholes" they have been sexually involved with. However, that's no excuse. By trying to promote nice guy behavior, they're just trying to control men for their own percieved benefit. Don't yall know that the harder you try to control something outside of yourself, the more it shall resist and the bigger of a problem it shall become? The harder you try to grip something, the more likely it will fly out of your hand to make a mess.

All the women out there who promote the behavior of the "nice guy" should do both men and women a favor by promoting the behavior of a happy medium. What is this happy medium? It is a man who respects others because he truly knows how to respect himself.

The "nice guy" is under the illusion that he only respects others but he doesn't really... because he doesn't respect himself. The "asshole" is under the illusion that he only respects himself but he doesn't really... because he doesn't respect others. Why not have a taste of the best of both worlds? Something that attempts to exist without combining with its opposite element fails to exist with stability... or fails to exist at all. A coin without its two opposite sides cannot be a coin.

I'm just ranting, by the way. I didn't sleep last night. BUT I STAND BY WHAT I HAVE SAID.

the problem with Mystery Method - while I still think it's a necessity for any aspiring PUA to read - is that it's really really focused on Outer Game which can be very overwhelming to a newbie who isn't really in tune with Inner Game... I recommend starting off with stuff from David Deangelo, and I highly recommend his Advanced Series.

keep this woman as a close friend. she is one of the most honest women you will ever know.

http://www.justsayhi.com/topic/show/56322

http://www.justsayhi.com/topic/show/56322

several, because its partly a numbers game.

many girls don't even answer the phone the majority of the time for many, many reasons, even if you have gotten them to previously invest a heavy amount of emotion into you. always have a plan B, C, D, E, F, and so on...

many flake out on dates for many, many reasons.

also, if you date several women at once, you are coming from a position of abundance instead of a position of scarcity. this will reflect in your attitude and it will be more attractive and less creepy.

I'd be more than willing to try and see how I'd like being in that situation

In fact, there's something strangely alluring about that... must be the novelty factor.

she asked for the truth, and bobzeaux gave his honest view.

those who seek ignorance should not question.

and he was not rude, he was honest. i can imagine a thousand other ways he could have been a thousand times more rude than what he posted.

dont try to read between the lines of what i have said to slap the "rude" label on me, too. just take my message for what it directly says, and you will understand what i really mean... which is simply directly what i have said.

theres a great thing about attraction... anyone can have it and anyone can incite it within another person, regardless of what your god handed you at birth. where there's a will, there's a way.

http://www.justsayhi.com/topic/show/56322

You are confused. Here's some clarity. Men and women communicate differently. What women say they want and what they respond to are oftentimes different. Chew on that and click the link above.

Spread the word so we can prevent these annoying repetitive "WHY DON'T I GET LAID WHEN I'M SUCH A NICE GUY???" posts.

Oh I haven't posted on this thread yet?

Well, now I am.

I'll have to say that this is one of the only things about the dating world I cannot offer clear, direct guidance in. However, I can show you one path you can take that will lead to a slow and steady change for the better. oldsage posted in another thread:

About 4 years ago, I was totally in love with this one girl had a fling with for 3 weeks during a summer camp thing. After those 3 weeks, we talked on the phone every day for about 10 months. Getting a call from her made my day every day and felt really happy every time I talked to her.

After those many months, she finally moved on and got this boyfriend (who ironically seemed a lot like ME lol). I started seeing a number of girls, but none of them could measure up to this girl who was on my mind for years... and yes, it took me literally a few years to get over her haha

But, yes, I'm pretty sure I actually am over her now, and it took time and effort, and it was well worth it. I tried keeping an open mind the whole time, trying to believe that she didn't necessarily have to be "the one" and I shouldn't let myself suffer and go undated because of this. I can't waste the wonder that is me haha

So, all I can tell ya is to live life for all it's worth, man. Try to let go of the past that doesn't help the present, and if it's hard, just keep trying. Your optimism and perseverance shall overcome any obstacle you face.

Hey, I sound like a fortune cookie.

Don't make any racist comments, now, LOL

lol

i actually didnt think about this issue from the oneitis perspective til you mentioned it

i was thinking this was more about some sticking points Luthin0r may have that cause the ladies to become confused as to how they feel toward him

but thats a good point

Luthin0r, you've got oneitis. Solution? Diversify your portfolio. You can message WhiteSox0507 lol

great to hear!
i was about to also recommend checking out bookstores, though

I'm willing to bet you're going to run into this same situation over and over again if you don't learn from it before/after you move on, as everyone here is suggesting to do.

Most people don't know what it is they seek

For you, gammalight6000, is "companionship" really what you seek? Do you know why?

Personally, I seek broad concepts such as freedom, glory, progress, expansion, insight, helping others, the betterment of mankind...

I think that once we get down to our core values to make our desires broader by definition, then we can open up our minds and lives to more fulfillment, and it will increase the likelihood of finding what we really want and need.

Which bars and clubs do you go to? Modern day speakeasies? I'm willing to bet that plenty of people that go to the bars and clubs in your area are good people, and that every single woman in there you see as "shallow" has a deeper, more profound and beautiful side to her that you can unlock with the right kind of care.

Personally, I rarely do the bar/club thing (I guess that would depend on your definition of "rarely"). I'm only 18, so I can't get into most bars/clubs. Every time I'm in one, however, I like to think I am looking from a unique perspective. Most men see a disgusting hunting ground full of drunk women dancing their booties off. I see it as a social gathering where people come to connect with everyone else, and many people just resort to external substances such as alcohol in an attempt get over that self-destructive mindset of "never talk to strangers" that we all grew up with... but theyre all actually decent people in one way or another. So, I would certainly recommend trying out the bar/club scene more.

However, as I have said, I rarely do the bar/club thing due to my age. So, what are my alternatives? I love downtown and shopping places. Do you have a mall anywhere around you?

I got a solution for ya

This is the most directly effective solution I can think of

I can't think of anything else that'll get you better/faster results

Step 1 - Get out of the house

Step 2 - Find women

Step 3 - Here's the hard part... Approach them.

"But, Chief, what do I say??? I can't do this! I'm too nervous. I have APPROACH ANXIETY! What happens if I crash and burn? And even worse... what happens if they end up being friendly with me? What do I say NEXT?"

The pickup artists have the answers to your questions in simple step-by-step methods. Check out my thread "Pickup Artist Secrets Revealed!" in this very forum.

Bad (but funny):

Him: I wish I were your derivative so I lay tangent to your curves
Her: *walks away*


Good (when approaching a group):

Him: Hey girls let me get your opinion on something - My friends and I were having this discussion. Alright, I've only got a minute, so real quick. One of our friends has a girlfriend who's jealous of the fact that he's still talking to his ex. What do you think about that?

Them: blah blah blah (doesn't really matter what they say here)

Him: Hmm interesting. Well, it's a two part question. She discovered under his bed a box of old photos and love letters from his past relationship and she wants him to burn the box. What do you think?

Them: (social hook point, excited about the drama) blah blah blah!

Him: (transition to DHV and A2/A3 techniques) Oh, man. You guys are great. You're just like The View! But really? That reminds me of this story when one time I...

Option 1 -> Eventually get phone number(s) and time bridge to Day 2
Option 2 -> Build more trust, then isolate and close

See "Pickup Artist Secrets Revealed!" for more details.