She takes it all way too seriously... and has a contrary way if I was going to stalk anyone they would need a clean bill of health from a reputable physician first. Someone with psychiatric expertise too, not just a quack. And well, ol singy, I'd fear the worst on the outcome of any evaluation on her in that respect to be honest.

I never went to the museum...did I? Whoa, like, I completely, totally, forgot about than man...the museum, yeah...

A real man only cares about a womans happiness when the food and/or sex stop. Thats when he knows when theres a problem, any other time, well then she must be happy, because I'm getting food and sex...see, simples

I would have took the dog outside and bashed his skull in with a shovel.

Thats what at least what one man would do, but perhaps your friend may kind of diluted his own urge to do that, maybe toned it down, to something a woman would relate to more. Something got lost in translation I think and well there you go, it ends up being 'get the dog a social worker' and 'send him to the dog shrink' - before you end up shooting the fker anyway - and make his last moments here on earth even more miserable. Making him remember when he was a pup, how his father abandoned him and his siblings at an early age...and how he never made it to be the leader of the dog-pack-family thing that dogs think about us...

for roughing up the competition

hey simone wheres your crazy friend ce soir? My stalkee...

Never admit to picking your nose. In my experience, whatever you admit to, people assume you're always at least one step worse because everyone has theri little secret, you can see that your admission to picking your nosecould go somwhere else? Somewhere much worse...

BALL-E

is she free?

for infringing christmas copyrights

I did but I disnt see a punker. Is that what you saw?

8 - 10 times a day is pretty normal I think

That is the worst poem I have ever read...

...and the other part? Cover? If I was a girl I might not trust you with my wardrobe... ...stretch the heck out of that hose.

Harry Prodder and the Philosophers Bone

I would have imagined you as a thinner and less happy chap that your profile pic shows. Are you telling us that you are a w@nker thats a good cook?
....C'mon, youre not really gordon ramsay are you...

Forrest Hump

@metalwing

..that picture is really the smallest pygmy in the world, out on a day trip to McDonalds

...no, no, I'm sticking with the naked and food, thats good.