good one animal

Little Billy is under moms feet all day & shes trying to fix dinner cuz
dads bringing home the boss & she wants everything to be perfect, so she
tells Billy to go outside & play for a couple hrs. He complains there is
nothing to do, mom tells him to go watch the men building some houses
down the street & she'll call him when it's time. Ok says Billy & off he
goes. 4 hrs. later she calls him in & tells him to clean up, as he's
doing so she ask "did u learn anything today?" He replies yeah, "if the
fucking door don't fit take the sonofabitch down shave a cunt hair off
slap the bitch back up& that motherfucker will fit!"" Billy go to your
room till your father gets home!" Dad gets home & asks "where is Billy"
mom says "in his room, wait till you hear what he learned today", so dad
goes in & asked Billy what he learned today, Billy says "of the fucking
door don't fit take the sonofabitch down shave a cunt hair off slap
thebitch back up& that motherfucker will fit!" "Son go get me a switch"
says the father & Billy replies "Fuck you thats the electrician job!"

Good ones MOM keep 'em coming

A fireman was having problems at home with his wife, so he was thinking
one day about the system at the firehouse.
He came home & told his wife they were going to incorperate the system
at home!
1 bell means "get naked"
2 bells means "get in bed"
3 bells means "fuck like crazy"
So he let it sink in a little bit, a couple of days goes by, he comes
home & yells "1 bell", she gets naked
so he yells "2 bells", she gets in bed
now he yells "3 bells" they go at it like crazy
she yells "4 bells", he says "4 bells what the hell is that?"
she says "more hose, you ain't even close to the fire yet"

thats a good one, i'll have to remember that one!!!