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Community > Posts By > Sandelwood4
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Topic:
What would you do
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What is the first step to a friendship? sex at the first time is a good way to know a person, but as you can this is not a rule  I don't understand what you're saying. You said "That is the first step to a relationship." What is the first to a relationship?
well anyone l mean every human being idealize his/her ideal match, more info you get about he or she more probability you get to perform the relation..........for love or just for friend, but as you can exist an invisible private border line sure everyone must respect this line ..........it seems a paradoxal situation. a question rise up : how is possible a good relationship without to know his or her intimate affair? the first step to get a relation is ..........to know.... building in your mind the partner mimagine, l'm not saying ...be a detectve, but l must know who is my companion but sometimes you don't know if you want love or friendship right away, so you have to first get to know someone before you know more about the person. Also, getting to know someone takes time. Sometimes months or years. |
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Yes, I think people who don't want to face rejection often use that as an excuse. Now, sending mixed messages is a little different though. If someone is acting wishy-washy, that can be quite confusing but should still not be confused with misplacing responsibility for ones actions.
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Topic:
People Who Contact Me....
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ????
Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back.  I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man. 
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Edited by
Sandelwood4
on
Fri 09/09/11 01:29 PM
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This is for men and women who are considered “hard to get”.
As a woman I hear frustrated male friends complain to me about some or most women being “hard to get”. Personally, I don’t feel there is such a thing or maybe I am different. I never want a a man to chase me. If I was interested in someone I would show it (provided the feeling is mutual of course) and welcome his attention. If I wasn’t interested I would show that as well. So... when I’m not interested in someone why should I be labeled as “hard to get”, as if I’m playing some sort of game? Any thoughts? Also, are there any men who feel they are being labeled inappropriately as "hard to get" or is this just an issue women deal with? |
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Topic:
Can you be honest?
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Being honest with yourself is the first challenge. Then, can you be honest with others. Completely? Pay attention and keep track of your own honesty or dishonesty throughout the day and see how that adds up. What can you say about yourself now that is completely honest? This is actually how try to live my life. As I mentioned in my profile, I believe in honesty over promises. Honestly I would say that I am happy being single and open to meeting a compatible partner. |
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Topic:
The Battle of the sexes
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Today I was in a conversation about some of the games that men and woman play and how I didn't appreciate it when a man pretended to want to do some business with me to build a web site for him but I soon discovered that all he really wanted was to get some sex. Well, the conversation deteriorated and the guy I was talking to drew a line in the sand when he began a sentence with "You women.....blah blah blah... stating the things that women do. I told him to stop. "You women" is a generalization and an insult to me. I am not the spokesperson for "women in general" and I did not want to be accused of doing things that some women or he thinks women in general do. Can we just be people? Can we drop the battle of the sexes? Can a man and a woman really be friends without the sex thing coming up? I believe we can, but it must be a very rare thing. This has been the biggest struggle for me all my life and most of my male friends are gay. You bring up something very important here because our self image of ourselves is closely connected to the existing relationships we have in life. What could be more valuable than being accepted and seen for who we are independent of our gender? Exactly. I have had male friends who were not gay. It is possible. Men, just like women, can see people as people without the gender thing popping up. I am guessing that men have the same problem. Some men might feel like they should not become friends with a woman for fear they might get the wrong idea. So I think we should simply be as honest as we can with each other if that is possible. If you are honest, and tell someone that this is strictly a friendship or business relationship and nothing more, it better be TRUE. And you should stand by that. Also if someone tells you that, you should take it as gospel. Don't think that it "might change." If it does change, you need to realize that and be honest about it. What is so hard about being honest? It is not as easy as it sounds. Try it. I would like to have more straight male friends, somehow it never happens though. |
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Topic:
Son would love a comment
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I liked it very much. The autotune feature is fun. However, I wouldn't use the autotune because it sounds too generic, but I know from composing myself that we must do what suits us and what's fun to us. The music itself and mixing was impressive and I really mean that.
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Topic:
Love in a Distance
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That's fine. I'm just asking if he's gay or if he made a mistake in his profile. Totally valid question, no? I'm sure he/she will respond him/herself. No need to be over protective. We're all friends here. Sorry for that mistake, I was totally confused when I made my account. My main purpose then was to gain advices, so I didn't checked my profile. Anyway, to end your confusion.. I am 100% feminine, 27 years of age. Thank you for that, I've corrected it already. No problem. |
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Everyone desires illegal affairs? I guess,yes everyone. We just control ourselves. (or should it be 'almost every one'?) What are these illegal affairs everyone desires? If I am not wrong I think anything that goes against the laws set up by the society is illegal.I leave it to you to decide those illegal...... Some how your message is not coming across. Can you be more specific what you're talking about? Maybe you want to start with what illegal activities you desire yourself. |
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Edited by
Sandelwood4
on
Fri 09/09/11 11:52 AM
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I have been in your shoes
 and the only way to stop yourself from getting hurt is to walk away as many here recommended. You're probably already hurt but you can stop it from getting worst. Don't even worry about what or how you're going to tell him. What's important is that YOU decide and you're clear on what to do next.
It sounds like you already know what you want and how you feel, so now you just have to take the bull by its horns and do what it is you already know you need to do. What helped me when I was in your situation is to watch a lot of empowering movies related to the direction you're wanting to go towards. It really helped. And music... If you're in to music, find songs that empowers you and keep playing it over and over again. Be strong! 
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Topic:
The Battle of the sexes
Edited by
Sandelwood4
on
Fri 09/09/11 12:09 PM
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Today I was in a conversation about some of the games that men and woman play and how I didn't appreciate it when a man pretended to want to do some business with me to build a web site for him but I soon discovered that all he really wanted was to get some sex. Well, the conversation deteriorated and the guy I was talking to drew a line in the sand when he began a sentence with "You women.....blah blah blah... stating the things that women do. I told him to stop. "You women" is a generalization and an insult to me. I am not the spokesperson for "women in general" and I did not want to be accused of doing things that some women or he thinks women in general do. Can we just be people? Can we drop the battle of the sexes? Can a man and a woman really be friends without the sex thing coming up? I believe we can, but it must be a very rare thing. This has been the biggest struggle for me all my life and most of my male friends are gay. You bring up something very important here because our self image of ourselves is closely connected to the existing relationships we have in life. What could be more valuable than being accepted and seen for who we are independent of our gender? |
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For me it's swimming, especially early in the mornings, and Sailing by Christopher Cross helps too.
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Topic:
What would you do
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What is the first step to a friendship? sex at the first time is a good way to know a person, but as you can this is not a rule I don't understand what you're saying. You said "That is the first step to a relationship." What is the first to a relationship?
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Topic:
What would you do
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Between the legs is never a good way to get to know someone. it could be the first step to a friend-ship...........come on l'm joking, anyway yeah we need to trust in the others I'm not upset. Just talking. :) What is the first step to a friendship? |
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Topic:
People Who Contact Me....
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I always knew I didn't want kids but no one believed me and treated me like I've got issues for choosing not to be a parent. So there are women who really don't, but they're probably far far away. Just like my chum in the bookstore. She felt guilty about it but was firm. Not having any. Yeay! Women power! We have choices too.
99.99999824361097% just choose not to exercise them. Yep, I can't argue there. When I was a kid, my Mom wanted me to do something I didn't want to do -- I don't even remember what it was now. I asked, "Why do you want me to do that?" Probably clean up my room or something. She said, "You'll understand when you have kids of your own." Not IF but WHEN. Like it was an inevitability. I got a little older, I discovered it wasn't mandatory after all. But just try telling that to women on dating sites. The main argument I hear from women is "You're not a real woman if you don't have kids" or "You're incomplete if you don't have kids." But that's like saying you have no value, no intrinsic worth, except as an adjunct to another person. That whole concept just baffles me. So true and that's why I am so far away from my family. |
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Topic:
What would you do
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when do you share how many partners you have had, how many children you have, what illnesses you have, what equipment you were born with , what equipment you have had changed,,,etc,,,? you 'r right there is a kind of point of break sharing personal info, by the way ...................l need to know if she is a lady without surprise among her legs I understand your concern/fear but what you fail to recognize is that the identities of women who are born with a penis or men born with a vagina are not determined by what's between their leg. It is offensive to refer to their identities based on biological factors alone. Transsexuals don't wake up one morning and say who can I deceit today. Straight or gay people will never understand what they are going through until it happens to them. Between the legs is never a good way to get to know someone. |
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Topic:
Fun things to do in LA
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I thought it would be cool to list some of the fun things that LA has to offer.
I love the Hollywood Forever Cemetery screenings. The other day a good friend of mine came to visit me and I took her there saying we're going for a picnic. When we arrive she said but this is a cemetery. It was a great surprise. I also love to participate in flash mobs around the LA area. |
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Topic:
Never been loved
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I have gay friends who are looking for the same things you are looking for. I think it's wonderful that you know what you want and that you're not lowering your expectations. Don't give up.
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Topic:
equal dating opportunity?
Edited by
Sandelwood4
on
Thu 09/08/11 08:57 AM
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The word dating has always been an elusive concept to me. I usually follow a sincere drive, whether that’s an interest we share, a physical or intellectual attraction. I would never meet someone to exercise equal opportunity alone. When I have done that in the past I felt like I was leading them on and it was difficult to cut them off.
Also, anyone who gives someone a hard time about not giving them a chance or insist on that too much is a bit sketchy to begin with. I’ve been trying to pay attention to my feelings more and discovered it helps to make sure I’m clear where my feelings are coming from whenever I feel “I should be” doing this and that. |
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Topic:
SINGLE or TAKEN? - part 18
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Single.
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