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Community > Posts By > Sandelwood4
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Topic:
heartbreak
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The first thing is determination.
Cry a lot and then watch empowering movies. By empowering I mean movies where women move on and leave men behind. They are hard to find. I know because I searched for them. Or, movies with bad a** women. Don’t watch love stories. Here is a list to start: Thelma & Louise (1991) Waiting to Exhale (1995) The Last Seduction (1994) Living Out Loud (1998) Sliding Doors (1998) Under the Tuscan Sun (2003) The Women (2008) |
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Topic:
What would you do
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Topic:
What would you do
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but sometimes you don't know if you want love or friendship right away, so you have to first get to know someone before you know more about the person. Also, getting to know someone takes time. Sometimes months or years. true l like your thougts, a deep sense of spirituality is in you, sometimes in our life we need to listen a friendly voice is not important where it come, it's just like to contact a piece of an immense cosmic soul.............without conditions without rule........just to talk l'm very glad to talk with you, an emotive person is a special soul l call it soul but spirit or ability to contact the invisible dimension is just the same, we are made of two elements materia and an invisible force, my body is here my mind is just over the ocean I'm glad to talk with you too. It is a little hard for me to understand everything you're saying because of the language barrier, so I never know if we're still on the same subject. Nice picture. I had a feeling you were not a cat. :) |
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Topic:
very strange
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The representations of dream symbols are very individual to the dreamer and maybe if we ask the right questions you will be able to figure it out.
In dreams all characters usually represent aspects of yourself. How does your old boyfriend make you feel? What aspect of yourself do you think this feeling (whatever your ex represents)touches on? Ask the same question about the person who appeared when you opened the door. You seemed to know this person. This friend on the other side of the door is an aspect of yourself that you’re familiar with, but the friend may be not necessarily familiar with the ex boyfriend aspect of yourself. So it might help to see if you can figure out parts of yourself that are in conflict with each other or ready to attack. Blood represents life force. You could be draining yourself through worry. I don’t know if you have been worried lately more than usual. |
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Topic:
Typo
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It says here "childlessness is most common among highly educated women."
http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1642/more-women-without-children |
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Topic:
Typo
Edited by
Sandelwood4
on
Fri 09/09/11 10:29 PM
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I don't know. I actually know several people in that age range with no children. Hi Singmesweet, I do too but they become pregnant a few years later. 44 % of 15-44 year old women??? That's almost half of the women population. That can't be right. |
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Topic:
People Who Contact Me....
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back.  I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man. 
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading.... 
yes, i don't even remember his profile except for that it was bad. "I'll fill this out later" is immediate disqualification. but I have to say you are very fortunate that expressing yourself in writing comes easy to you. some people really struggle with that, but I suppose they shouldn't set up their account until they're ready. Sure, some people have more of a facility for words than others. And I'm not looking for a great piece of literature when I read a profile -- I've seen a handful that were brilliantly done, but I wonder if maybe the effort, in the end, isn't wholly wasted. Because it seems the overall readership probably doesn't appreciate the quality of the work. On the other hand, a dating site is pretty much entirely a written communications venue -- whether you're talking forums or e-mail or IM -- and I believe that, in a written medium, the goal should be to make oneself as clear and comprehensible as possible. So, when I see the profiles full of third-grade spelling/grammar/punctuation errors, it doesn't do much for me in terms of "Oh, here's someone I might be interested in." Because if she's not going to clean it up enough for it to get past Mrs. Krabappel (yes, I know Bart's in fourth grade, stay with me here) then how I am I supposed to take anything they have to say seriously? -- assuming, of course, I can even understand it to that extent. I'm not looking for profiles written by Shakespeare here. Neither am I looking for profiles written by a dyslexic ocelot. Just give me something that tells a little bit about the person who wrote it, without endless strings of cliches about Prince Charming and long walks on the beach, and that won't set your spellcheck on fire, and things will be good.... Yes, yes, I understand. Of course. You have to also believe what you're writing. Everything is transparent. In order for me to write something I feel I have to be in the mood. This is also true for school projects. I don't even know how to write a paper unless I find an interesting subject or an attractive perspective if the subject is already chosen for me. It's the same here and requires self reflection before you can relay your message to someone else. When I'm not in the mood I wait with writing until I'm inspired. Yeah, I learned that the hard way. Either it's flowing or it's not. And I found out that I can't force it when it's not -- otherwise, what comes out is the biggest pile of sludge ever. Just horrible stuff, just useless. So there are days I don't even try to write anything at all because it just ain't happening! What happened? Was there a specific incident that you recall? |
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Topic:
Typo
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I couldn't find the article on that link but I bet this number probably includes women who lost their children and gave them up for adoption. Even so, it's still high. I told you you were screwed.
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Topic:
Regrets..
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I tried hard but I can't think of anything. I did everything for a reason. Even the mistakes turned out to be good for something. Maybe that I didn't run away from home or that I didn't continue going to school.
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No one is hard to get. No one. You just gotta know what they want. Love is when people want what you want. You find someone who wants what you want......Bingo....you got love. The ones who don't love you are just wasted time. I can't believe we agreed on something. Hallelujah! When one of the two doesn't want the same, the other one claims they are hard to get which is BS. |
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Topic:
Deal Breakers
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No culture fetishes (some people love women from a specific culture).
He should not be hyper and be able to stay still for periods of time. |
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I was labeled "hard to get" by many women back in the day. I was oblivious to when a chick liked me. Until that one glorious day this one girl showed me her breasts, slapped me, and screamed in my face, "Hey dumbazz! I like ya! Get a clue!". Talk about a wake-up call. But I hope you had a choice. 
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what does it mean - hard to get? busy phone? always in meetings?/?? That's what I was wondering because I really don't like the label as much as I don't like the opposite term "easy to get" either. |
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Topic:
Should love ever give up?
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Love is not something outside of us to be attained. Loves is created. It can exist even if it's not mutual but in order for the relationship to exist and function effectively it has to be mutual.
When someone hurts me it's easier to let them go. But regardless of anything and everything, I won't stay unless it's mutual. |
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Well, let's differentiate "hard to get" in terms of "Attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it" as opposed to "hard to get" as in "I'm going to have to be quite certain this is even worth it." I think the former is more of a game, while the latter is a defensive strategy. yes the former (attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it) is manipulative and passive aggressive but I'm not sure about the latter. How is the latter a defensive strategy? Is it not simply not being interested? In my experience, the latter is used by people who need a lot of convincing. They're not opposed to the idea of being chased, per se, but they need to know that it isn't going to backfire on them once they're "caught." They're not doing it as a game at all; they're just afraid of the ramifications if they allow the wrong one to "catch" them. Oh, I see what you mean. Never thought of it that way but that is probably when the chaser gets confused and is more likely to label him/her as the hard to get type. Exactly, because the chasee is unlikely to stop and say, "Hey look, I appreciate all the attention and interest, but I really need to step back and thoroughly examine your intentions and motives here, before I allow myself to proceed any further in this direction." Kind of a buzz-kill.... So now, everybody has to guess what's going on, and it's a lot harder to get anything done.... Honesty is a courageous thing. I have a neighbor who has been trying to hang out with me and when he asked me if we could get something to eat one day I said "no I don't think I can make time for that." He was blown away by my response because he thought I would say "sure, sometime" and he'd get a chance to chase me. It's easier for people to lie for the sake of being nice instead of being honest and sincere. I haven't quite mastered it yet but I am constantly working on it. |
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Edited by
Sandelwood4
on
Fri 09/09/11 03:37 PM
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Well, let's differentiate "hard to get" in terms of "Attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it" as opposed to "hard to get" as in "I'm going to have to be quite certain this is even worth it." I think the former is more of a game, while the latter is a defensive strategy. yes the former (attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it) is manipulative and passive aggressive but I'm not sure about the latter. How is the latter a defensive strategy? Is it not simply not being interested? In my experience, the latter is used by people who need a lot of convincing. They're not opposed to the idea of being chased, per se, but they need to know that it isn't going to backfire on them once they're "caught." They're not doing it as a game at all; they're just afraid of the ramifications if they allow the wrong one to "catch" them. Oh, I see what you mean. Never thought of it that way but that is probably when the chaser gets confused and is more likely to label him/her as the hard to get type. |
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Topic:
People Who Contact Me....
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back. I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man.
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading....
yes, i don't even remember his profile except for that it was bad. "I'll fill this out later" is immediate disqualification. but I have to say you are very fortunate that expressing yourself in writing comes easy to you. some people really struggle with that, but I suppose they shouldn't set up their account until they're ready. Sure, some people have more of a facility for words than others. And I'm not looking for a great piece of literature when I read a profile -- I've seen a handful that were brilliantly done, but I wonder if maybe the effort, in the end, isn't wholly wasted. Because it seems the overall readership probably doesn't appreciate the quality of the work. On the other hand, a dating site is pretty much entirely a written communications venue -- whether you're talking forums or e-mail or IM -- and I believe that, in a written medium, the goal should be to make oneself as clear and comprehensible as possible. So, when I see the profiles full of third-grade spelling/grammar/punctuation errors, it doesn't do much for me in terms of "Oh, here's someone I might be interested in." Because if she's not going to clean it up enough for it to get past Mrs. Krabappel (yes, I know Bart's in fourth grade, stay with me here) then how I am I supposed to take anything they have to say seriously? -- assuming, of course, I can even understand it to that extent. I'm not looking for profiles written by Shakespeare here. Neither am I looking for profiles written by a dyslexic ocelot. Just give me something that tells a little bit about the person who wrote it, without endless strings of cliches about Prince Charming and long walks on the beach, and that won't set your spellcheck on fire, and things will be good.... Yes, yes, I understand. Of course. You have to also believe what you're writing. Everything is transparent. In order for me to write something I feel I have to be in the mood. This is also true for school projects. I don't even know how to write a paper unless I find an interesting subject or an attractive perspective if the subject is already chosen for me. It's the same here and requires self reflection before you can relay your message to someone else. When I'm not in the mood I wait with writing until I'm inspired. |
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Topic:
People Who Contact Me....
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back. I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man.
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading....
yes, i don't even remember his profile except for that it was bad. "I'll fill this out later" is immediate disqualification. but I have to say you are very fortunate that expressing yourself in writing comes easy to you. some people really struggle with that, but I suppose they shouldn't set up their account until they're ready. |
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Well, let's differentiate "hard to get" in terms of "Attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it" as opposed to "hard to get" as in "I'm going to have to be quite certain this is even worth it." I think the former is more of a game, while the latter is a defensive strategy. yes the former (attainable, but I'm going to make you work for it) is manipulative and passive aggressive but I'm not sure about the latter. How is the latter a defensive strategy? Is it not simply not being interested? |
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Topic:
People Who Contact Me....
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I received mail from someone who asked me to ignore his current profile because he would fix it later. ???? Then he pretended and suggested that we talk later as if he was certain I would respond back. I needed to vent.
Lex, you're screwed, man.
I know, it's just pathetic. Although I have to say that the vast majority of profiles I've read are, in fact, easy to ignore. Because they don't actually say anything worth reading....
yes, i don't even remember his profile except for that it was bad. |
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