thanks captain
Cooly

hey just had to do it and say hi to ya'll
thanks Wolfchic
Cooly

thank everybody, i wasn't here earlier today so go play with your hairy potter
Cooly

thanks ya'll, it's been awhile
Cooly

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of a road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks man what's wrong. "I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and
waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?" The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label. It says, "Hair Spray -

Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."

The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around

the house that he used to do. The doctor started a long and thorough

examination, but finally found nothing wrong with the man.

When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it.

Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just lazy."

"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife".

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The

turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is

struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it. Screaming,she stands up in the front of

the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if

I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! No one

has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there

ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment there is silence. everyone has forgotten their own peril,

and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the

plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you

feel like a woman," he says. This tall, tanned and built guy with jet

black eyes starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one

button at a time.

No one moves. As this man approaches, the woman begins to get excited. He

removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and

extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:

"Iron this."

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana . The Brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top level.



The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate.



When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

the brunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!'

One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered... 'YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!?!'


just had to do it
Cooly

thanks chevy, how it going

doing ok, just wanted to give a few laughs to ya'll
Cooly

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!"

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.

"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"

"Yes," said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot, "What's your name?"

"Clarence," said the bird.

"That's a stupid name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot would name a parrot Clarence?"

The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus."


just wanted to give my friends a laugh, I'll be back from time to time
Cooly

Ya know I liked this one, nice one

way2cool my friend, good 1

oh no, now I'm sick, now she's even in the dang jokes here

For the wonderful ladies

Hate to say it, but it kinda goes with going for that bad boy thing. Anyone wanting a "Real Man" then email me
Cooly

Welcome to JSH
Come over to the joke room and have some laughs
Cooly

I'm surrounded by em
Thanks ya'll
Cooly

thanks ya'll
he's got his eyes on you
Cooly

Welcome to JSH Bro
Cooly

You know your a redneck if...

You've hit on somebody in a VD clinic.

Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

You had romantic thoughts when you heard sheep bleat.

Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

You consider your license plate personalized because your …father…made…it.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your….deer….quota.

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip…on…the….side.

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

You thought the Unabomber was a wrestler.

You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings….you….home.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvement.

You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"

You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 76 mph.

Somebody tells you that you've got something in you teeth and you take them out to see what it is.