Two old pensioners are taking a trip down memory lane by going back to the place where they first met.

Sitting at a café, the little old man says, "Remember the first time I met you over 50 years ago? We left this cafe, went round the corner behind the gas works, and I gave you one from behind."

"Why, yes, I remember it well, dear," replies the little old lady with a grin.

"Well, for old time's sake, let's go there again. and I'll give you one from behind."

The two pensioners pay their bill and leave the cafe. A young man sitting next to them has overheard the conversation and smiles to himself, thinking it would be quite amusing to see two old pensioners at it. He gets up and follows them. Sure enough, he sees the two pensioners near the gas works. The little old lady pulls off her knickers and lifts up her dress.

The old man pulls down his pants and grabs the lady's hips, and the little old lady reaches for the fence. Well, what follows is 40 minutes of the most athletic sex the man has ever seen. The little old man is banging away at the little old woman at a pace that can only be described as phenomenal. Limbs are flying everywhere, the movement is a blur, and they do not stop for a single second. Finally, they collapse and don't move for an hour.

Well, the man is stunned. Never in his life has he ever seen anything that equates to this -- not in the movies, not from his friends, not from his own experiences.

Reflecting on what he has just seen, he says to himself, "I have to know his secret. If only I could shag like that now, let alone in 50 years' time!"

The two old pensioners have by this time recovered and dressed themselves. Plucking up courage, the man approaches the pensioner.

He says, "Sir, in all my life I have never seen anybody shag like that, particularly at your age. What's your secret? Could you shag like that 50 years ago?"

The pensioner replies, "Son, 50 years ago, that f*cking fence wasn't electrified."



That sure put some spark into it
Cooly

A traveler knocked on the door of the house where a cabdriver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted.

"I want to get screwed," said the man.

"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip twenty bucks as an initiation fee through the mail slot," answered the voice.

The man slid his $20 bucks in, the panel was closed. Minutes passed and nothing happened.

He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open again.

"Hey," exclaimed the sport, "I want to get screwed!"

"What?" said the voice, "Again?"

A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room they undress, climb into bed, and go at it.

When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences to repeat the performance.

The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and starts again.

The hooker is amazed as this sequence is repeated four times. During the fifth encore, she decides to try it herself.

So when they are done she jumps up, goes to the window and takes a deep breath of fresh air, dives under the bed... and finds four Chinese men.

what up egghead

I know several awsome ladies who have them and are not tramps, Everyone i know including ladies call them that, always just looked at it as body art.

thanks teddy an rocker

I made a friend named Pete
Some ladies think he’s pretty neat
He doesn’t know whether to stay
Or move to good ol USA
Where he’d be near these ladies all day


Had to come up something for ya Bro

thanks ya'll
ok lady thanks hon

thought those would wake a few of ya up

Q: Why did the elephant paint his balls red?
A: So he could hide in the cherry tree.

Q: What is the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: A giraffe eating cherries.



I wondered what that screaming sound was
Cooly

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an altar boy

Q: What do you get if you cross a nun with a computer?
A: A system that won't go down.

Q: How do you define a "tough girl"
A: She kickstarts her own vibrator, or she rolls her own tampons


Q: What do you call an amish farmer with his arm halfway up his horses a*s?
A: A mechanic

nice try there Ya'll, good guess's there, but Nope
Where u been Cory, that was figured out on pg 1, but yep that was the answer
Cooly

Way 2 Cool, thanks you very much, that so rocks Cooly

man thats a lot of work for a hat,Nope, just read it and tell me how ya get it back

WOW, was that the word, Incredible is more like it,u r 2 sweet
I feel Special
Yipeee

I know, I show my friends, I can't read it to them, then I have to help them off the floor

thanks "alwaysmomma" u r so sweet
thanks Rob, i still can't read it to no one, they have to, LMAO

hey thanks Chuck & dlawson

thanks Wow & dead