Just some advice... quite your b-itching... get a lawyer... fight for visitation, joint custody, or full custody of your children. When it comes to your children a parent will do anything and put up with anything to be with them... I know I did when my children's father did an about face and tried to take my children away from me.

I left my alcoholic and drug addicted second husband and was moving out of state from Ohio to Pennsylvania. My divorce decree to my first husband stated that I couldn't take my kids out of the state of Ohio without petitioning the courts. My first husband found out I was leaving and said he would take the kids off my hands while I got settled in PA, while he would try to heal the damage he did by neglecting them all those years. I so wanted to believe him.

He ended up taking me to court, telling the court he wanted full custody on the basis that I abandoned the kids by going out of state. I traveled a little over 400 miles every weekend to visit my children (because the judge "granted" me visitation rights) to try and heal the even deeper wounds my exhusband was inflicting upon my children by telling them I was leaving them. He was also physically abusing them while they were in his custody.

Before the judge made his final ruling, my exhusband begged me one weekend to take them back with me to PA so he could get his "family" back together. It seems that his wife took their two kids and left and said she wasn't "comeing back until those d-amn brats were gone." The judge granted him joint custody. That was over 5 years ago. He's had absolutely no contact with my kids ever since. No calls, co cards, no letters, nothing.

So, if your kids mean so much to you, quit your b-itching and do what you need to do to be in their lives. Be that good father that you are obviously trying to convince me that you are. You don't need to convince me. You need to convince your kids.

Don't take what I say so personally. I'm jaded. Both my first and second husbands are dead beat fathers. My childrens father really did a horrible number on my kids. He abandonded them not once, but twice. He's ordered to pay support, but rarely does pay it. He has two other children with the women he left us for, and he barely takes care of them. My second husband has one son with another woman. He pays child support as long as he has a job. But for the most part he's a drug addict and alcoholic who occassionaly visits his son. His son's mother isn't much better, though. And I realize that yes, there are some good men out there, who are getting the short end of the stick when it comes to being a father. However, you have to agree, in America, this is a country where dead beat dads are plentiful. The good father is rare to find. And no the "deadbeat" title isn't just for fathers. I've known quite a few deadbeat mothers. However, compared to the deadbeat fathers, there are way more deadbeat fathers than mothers here in America. Sorry if this offends you, but it's the truth.

I refuse to date a man who has school aged children of his own but they don't live with him. They must live with him at least half the time. I hate deadbeat dads. I deal with my children's father who is a deadbeat dad and I refuse to get involved with such a man ever again. And those men who don't want to date a woman with children can go f-uck themselves. Those type of men are usually afraid of commitment, afraid of leeches on their wallet, and/or afraid of becoming old.

Have you ever been a smoker? Tobacco containes this highly addictive drug called nicotine. The mother of your children is a legal drug addict, as are tons of other people. They are all addicted to Nictotine. It's extremely hard to get clean of this drug. I know, I'm a former smoker. What helped me were my children voicing their opinions about my smoking. I looked at it from the following point of veiw... I kicked drug and alcohol abuse, so I knew I could kick the smoking addiction... and I did.

I'm not going to sit here and pass judgement on either one of you. Your children, however, will be in my thoughts and prayers. I will say this, however, please don't use your children as the go between. You have something to say to her, say it to her yourself, don't send the children or use them as guilt trips.

Scented Fireplace Logs

Use 1 drop of essential oil (not perfumed oil) per log and only one log per fire. After applying the essential oil to the log be sure to let it sit for enough time that the essential oil soaks through the log. Some choices are Sandalwood, Frankincense, Myrrh, Cypress, and Cedarwood.

Why would anyone want to flame you? Unless they are just out to proslytize you. Personally, I'm not like that. Have a nice life.

It's not an oxymoron. Yes you can if one is a theist evolutionist. I happen to be a theist evolutionist.

The Goddess Companion

Under the mountains is a house.
A road runs down to it. The mountain hides it.
No one knows how to reach it.
There evil people are bound with ropes
and held in narrow spaces. No one escapes
from this house, but the just need not fear it.
This is the house of the setting sun.
This is the house on whose foundation
the sunrise mountains rise.
This is the house of the monster
with gaping jaws and the raging lion-guards.
And here also are the gardens of the goddess.
~Babylonian Description Of The Underworld

Every religion has an ethical standard, a set of rules on which people's behaviors is judged. And every religion, including the religions of the goddess, speaks of some kind of punishment for wrongdoing. Yet, when we look around, how often we see selfish and uncaring people richly rewarded for their actions! There is the victimizing boss who moves up the corporate ladder. There is the selfish lover who receives pleasure while denying it. There is the uncaring parent who enjoys life at the expense of children. Why are these people not punished?

This problem of evil is one of the great philosophical and religious questions humanity faces. We face it time after time, generation after generation, culture after culture. And no definite answer is ever reached. In the religious of the goddess, we find images of punishment of evildoers, as well as rules for living in harmony with her wishes. If we cannot settle the problem of evil, we can try to activate the good within ourselves.

From "The Goddess Companion" by Patricia Monaghan

Today's Goddess: Skadi
Blowing the Midwinter Horn (Netherlands)

Themes: Protection; Banishing; Communication; Insight; Winter
Symbols: Snow; Wind (cold or northerly); White Crystals or Clothing

About Skadi: In Northern tradition, Skadi is the spirit of the north wind, who is blowing powerfully over the earth now. She is the goddess of winter and wears white fur, crystal armor, and a bow and arrow for hunting. Hers is the power of communication - of announcing new insights and perceptions as they awaken within.

To Do Today: In this festival, which dates back two thousand years, farmers around the country take out Birchwood horns today and blow them to scare away evil influences and announce Skadi's presence. To encourage her communicative powers in your own life, stand outside and breathe deeply of a cool, northerly wind today, letting the air empower your speech. Or, carry a pumice stone wrapped in white cloth with you throughout the day (if you can't find one, cut out a white paper snowflake instead and write Skadi's name on it). This keeps the goddess with you in all your discourse.

At home, find a horn (perhaps a kazoo or noisemaker). Follow the Dutch custom of blowing this once in all four cardinal directions to send protection throughout your living space. Afterward put four white decorations (candles, stones) close to the directional points. This welcomes Skadi's insight and open discussions therein.

From "365 Goddess" By Patricia Telesco

Elder's Meditation

"We as men should not fear our mates; we should listen to their counsel." --Oren R. Lyons, Spokesman, Traditional Circle of Elders

The Elders say the men should look at women in a sacred way. The men should never put women down or shame them in any way. When we have problems, we should seek their counsel. We should share with them openly. A woman has intuitive thought. She has access to another system of knowledge that few men develop. She can help us understand. We must treat her in a good way.

Great Spirit, let me look upon the woman in a good way.

http://www.whitebison.org/

Elder's Meditation

"The Natural Law will prevail regardless of man-made laws, tribunals and governments." --Traditional Circle of Elders, NAVAJO-HOPI Joint Use Area

The Great Spirit made Laws by which Man needs to live. These Laws are just and are about living in harmony. Man has passed many laws that say it is okay to do things. Many of these man-made laws are out of harmony with the Laws of the Great Spirit. These man-made laws will cause trouble for the human being if they are out of harmony with the Laws of the Creator.

Great Spirit, teach me Your Laws.

http://www.whitebison.org/

Instinctual feminine? Without societal encumbrances? Yes... Indeed!

How I described Taoism is what it was in its beginings. What it has evolved into today is not something I'm too familar with. I don't believe modern Taoism is as dogmatic and chauvinistic as it originally was. I have read in several books and watched in several videos that modern day lovers often put into practice Taoist beliefs when it comes to sex. The beliefs that are spoken of are not dogmatic. Rather it's a Ying-Yang effect. A man is to keep his fire burning hot enough to bring the woman to a boil without allowing his fire consume himself. And the woman is to learn how and what brings her to boil more quickly so that her man is not tempted to be consumed by his own fire. I've had a lover who was like this. He learned to prolong his climax as long as possible to be able to fully pleasure his lover. He said he learned this through Taoism but he wasn't a Taoist.

Don't be shocked. Actually, some (not all) Pagans and some (not all) New Agers have their own types of "Holy Water." It's not really mass produced and marketed like Christians "Holy Water." This "Holy Water" that some Pagans and some New Agers use is called Crystal and Gemstone Elixers. It's water infused with ground up non-toxic Gemstones and/or Crystals believed to have beneficial metaphysical powers. I myself believe in and practice Crystal and Gemstone Magick, however, I've never drank these Crystal and Gemstone Elixers. So, I can't really comment on their authenticity.

However, these Christian "Holy bottle water" is indeed a pathetic attempt to make money pure and simple.

While I enjoyed and agreed with most everything you said, you lost me when you mentioned Taoism. It just so happens I was up late last night, as I am most nights, and I was watching on the History channel, "The History of Sex." It went through the complete history of sex within Chinese and Japanese History. I went to bed before the program was over. However I did stay up long enough to watch the whole part on the history of sex within the Chinese culture. Taoism was extremely liberal when it came to sex, so liberal it was dogmatic. A contradiction in terms? No. Taoist men believed that the escence of woman was the strongest in very young (teenaged) girls and in those women who have not yet given birth. So the ideal woman for a Taoist man was basically a teenaged girl who had never given birth. It was the Taoists man's belief to have sex with as many of these women, pleasing them, without spilling his seed to gain eternal life. And because the Chinese culture at that time believed it was ok polygamy and never looked down upon a married man seeking the services of a prostitute, I would have to say that Taoism when it was in it's prime in China was the most Chauvinistic religion/philosophy in history.

The Confucianism grabbed a hold of the Chinese culture. Confucianism was all about family and and gaining eternal life through procreation. So the perfect woman was one who could have many children. So to me Confucianism could also be viewed as a very chauvinistic religion.

Celebrating the Primordial Feminine:
Transforming Anger into Compassionate Wrath

By Mari Selby

As 21st century women we will continue to be easily seduced, and then just as easily dismayed, by the media's "perfect woman" as long as we buy into the outdated feminine ideal of motherly nurturance and essential passivity. And even if we don't buy into this limited ideal, our search for a "media correct" woman often leaves us dissatisfied with our army of personal trainers, therapists, and beauty consultants. What's missing? Perhaps a more evolved and holistic view of the feminine includes a wrathful aspect to our nature. Anger (or rage) is not wrath; wrath is focused, compassionate, creative and intelligent anger. Perhaps the next step in a personal and global evolution will guide women to become more primordial, wrathful and unreasonable, yet still compassionate?

What might wrathful creativity produce? Recently a friend sent me an image of a group of unreasonable women from Pt. Reyes, California . They were protesting US aggression in the Middle East by forming the word PEACE with their naked bodies. The "spirit" in the display was powerful and definitely sent a message. Their intention was to "shame" the government into rational thinking about the Middle East crisis.

Where do we source this wisdom of compassionate wrath? Today more and more women are turning to other world religions besides Christianity in their search for a deeper, more primordial and wrathful connection to feminine spirit. There has been a recent upsurge in the popularity of Kali, the Hindu goddess whose compassionate nature is both destructive and creative. In the Southwest women are drawn to the Hopi and Navajo Kachinas as a way of embracing another version of themselves. The arrival of Tantric Buddhism in the West has introduced us to the (secret and formerly hidden) ancient female deities called Dakinis. The burgeoning popularity of Dakinis is rooted in their compassionate and wrathful nature. The unique compassion of the Dakinis is their focus on the embodiment of sanity through the integration of all emotions, not just peaceful or looking-good emotions.

So, still, what are we hungry for? Are we searching for outlets for our rage? Has our rage become so strong that we can ignore it no longer? As women we've learned that the personal is political. How can we not be more angry than ever? We still see women being beaten and raped by their husbands, still assaulted and threatened by religionists, and still not being paid enough to feed their children.

We have also learned that we cannot be just angry, and then expect to be truly productive. As well, anger may not necessarily be the spiritual image we choose to mirror. How do we reconcile our rage with our desire to be spiritual? Many religions tell us to swallow our anger, or rise above it, or pray harder, or devote ourselves more intensely to our children, husbands etc. These practices do not change anything deep within ourselves.

Can we transform this anger into creative energy? One of the best films to deal with the transformation of anger into wrath is "Erin Brokavich". Erin 's bitter frustration with her own single motherhood merged with deeply felt compassion to create wrathful action. Through witnessing acute humane suffering caused by corporate polluters, Erin transformed her anger into actions that profoundly benefited her community. Erin was unreasonable throughout her entire process.

We can all create wrathful change. We can transform our lives. Where do we find the wisdom to know how to do this? Wrathful women are a force of nature, to be respected and venerated. Who were our personal models who embodied a wrathful spirit? Did our mothers stand up for us? Was there a neighbor who fostered our courage and talents? Which teacher allowed us to question authority? Each one of these people mirrored the Dakini inside us. To embrace our unreasonable and compassionate selves is to recognize ourselves as Dakinis.

Dakinis by their very essence, represent a transformational journey. The Dakini principle is found in all ancient and modern cultures. Thousands of years ago, before being swallowed by Buddhism, Dakinis were allies in the daily passage of life. Millennia later they were further demoted to a kind of demon encountered during an individual's journey through the Bardo. (To Buddhists the Bardo is the place you go when you die, then travel through to the next level of spiritual evolution.) Dakini literally translated from Tibetan means sky-goer, one who moves through all dimensions. In our modern world, Dakinis represent the natural ever-changing flow of energy, from wrathful to peaceful, and back to wrathful again. The Dakinis may physically appear to us as a person, in our emotional patterns, or as animals. Dakinis are wisdom beings, as are we all.

The Hindus and Buddhists refer to these spirits Dakinis. Native American, African, Celtic and other cultures also have many names for elemental spirits. Spider Woman is an example of a dakini in the Navajo tradition. The legend of Nzingha, the African woman who saved her people from slavery, is another example of a Dakini at work.

Dakinis are primarily represented via one of the 5 Buddhist families, each seen in its specific color, element, direction, time of day and lunar cycle. Each Dakini also represents a completed integrated range of emotion, for instance, from fear and rage to creative wrath and grace. The beauty of the Dakinis is the full range of emotion and the transformational journey within that range. When we see the creative spark in our rage and feel inspired, when we recognize the power in vulnerability, we truly know what transformation means.

To many traditional Buddhists, the Tantric Dakinis are still secret, with practices given to certain lamas and nuns. Traditional Buddhists normally do not introduce Dakinis to lay practitioners as an enlightenment practice. As well, to some westerners, the idea of confronting our demons of fear, denial, anger, jealousy or greed is very threatening. However, to those of you magnetized by these Dakinis, they are perhaps already familiar allies. To those women, we say, go ahead, leap into your dance with the Dakinis!

Any unreasonable woman is a Dakini. All the therapy and spiritual practice in the world can still leave us caught in endless negative emotional spirals. Through the realization of Dakini wisdom, integrated with our emotional poisons, we are able to break out of patterns.

Dakinis offer women a mirror image of ourselves as untamed women. Who hasn't had a bad hair day when b-itch is the only word we can relate to? By embracing the energy of the Dakini we embody an elemental spirit that surrounds us in nature. By invoking the Dakinis we become a primordial goddess, an eternal image, and a compassionately unreasonable woman.

Unearthing the primordial feminine brings relief to the tensions of a positive outer image and an inner life in turmoil. We can be angry or fearful, and, at the same time, know that the transformation of those emotions is creativity and grace. When we have exposed the hidden poisons in our psyche, the Dakinis provide a path of soulful living and transformation. With rampant worldwide spiritual hunger, Dakinis offer the synthesis of our emotional, creative, and spiritual realities.

Holiday Cookie Ornaments

Candy canes are the sweet baked-in hooks for this easy-mix sugar cookie.

Prep Time:1 hr 15 min
Start to Finish:2 hr 15 min
Makes:About 3 dozen cookies

1 pouch sugar cookie mix
1/3 cup butter or margarine, melted
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 egg
36 small candy canes
2 containers (1 lb each)creamy white or vanilla frosting

1. Heat oven to 375°F. Line cookie sheets with cooking parchment paper. In medium bowl, stir cookie mix, butter, flour and egg until soft dough forms.
2. On floured surface, roll dough until about 1/8 inch thick. Cut with 3- to 3 1/2-inch cookie cutters. Place cutouts 1 inch apart on cookie sheets.
3. Bake 5 minutes. Meanwhile, break off top of each candy cane to create loop for hanging cookies.
4. Remove cookies from oven; press 1 candy piece on top of each cookie to make a loop. Bake 1 to 2 minutes longer or until edges are set. Cool on cookie sheets 2 minutes. Remove from cookie sheets to cooling rack. Cool completely, about 20 minutes.
5. Line cookie sheet with parchment paper. Place 1 container of frosting at a time in 2-cup glass measuring cup. Microwave uncovered on High 45 to 60 seconds, stirring every 15 seconds, until melted. Dip each cookie in frosting, allowing excess to drip off. Place cookies on parchment paper. Decorate as desired. Let stand until frosting is set, about 1 hour.

High Altitude (3500-6500 ft): No change.

Holiday White Chocolate Macaroon Cookies (Cookie Mix)

The richness of white chocolate and coconut marry in an easy drop cookie.

Prep Time:30 min
Start to Finish:1 hr
Makes:About 3 dozen cookies

1 pouch (1 lb 1.5 oz) sugar cookie mix
1/2 cup butter or margarine, melted
1 egg
1 cup flaked coconut
1 2/3 cups white vanilla baking chips
1/2 teaspoon coconut extract
1 teaspoon shortening
red and green decorating sugars
Coarse white sparkling sugar

1. Heat oven to 375°F. In large bowl, stir cookie mix, butter, egg, coconut, 1 cup of the baking chips and the extract until soft dough forms. Drop dough by rounded teaspoonfuls 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheet.
2. Bake 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown around edges. Cool 1 minute before removing from cookie sheet; cool completely, about 20 minutes.
3. In small microwavable bowl, microwave remaining 2/3 cup baking chips and the shortening on High 30 to 60 seconds or until mixture can be stirred smooth. Drizzle over cookies; sprinkle with sugars as desired.

High Altitude (3500-6500 ft): No change.

Peppermint Snowball Cookies

'Tis the season for cookie making. Get in the spirit with these festive peppermint cookies that look like mint-snowballs.

Prep Time:1 hr 5 min
Start to Finish:2 hr 20 min
Makes:32 cookies

1/4 cup finely crushed peppermint candies (12 candies)
1/4 cup powdered sugar
1 cup butter, softened
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1/4 cup finely crushed peppermint candies (12 candies)
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 1/4 cups Gold Medal® all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt

1. Heat oven to 325ºF. Mix 1/4 cup crushed candies and 1/4 cup powdered sugar; reserve. Mix butter, 1/3 cup powdered sugar, 1/4 cup crushed candies and the vanilla in medium bowl. Stir in flour and salt.
2. Shape dough by level measuring tablespoonfuls into balls. Place about 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet.
3. Bake 12 to 15 minutes or until set but not brown. Immediately remove from cookie sheet; roll in reserved candy mixture. Cool completely on wire rack. Roll in candy mixture again.

Ginger Crinkles

Craving old-fashioned, chewy and spicy molasses cookies? Try this easy homemade cookie-jar favorite.

Prep Time:40 min
Start to Finish:50 min
Makes:About 3 dozen cookies

1 cup sugar
3/4 cup butter or margarine, softened
1/4 cup molasses
1 egg
2 cups Gold Medal® all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon ground ginger
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons sugar


1. Heat oven to 375°F. In large bowl, beat 1 cup sugar and the butter with electric mixer on medium speed, or mix with spoon, until soft and fluffy. Beat in molasses and egg. Stir in remaining ingredients except 3 tablespoons sugar until well blended.
2. Place 3 tablespoons sugar in small bowl. Shape dough by tablespoonfuls into balls; roll in sugar. On ungreased cookie sheet, place balls 2 inches apart.
3. Bake 6 to 8 minutes or until golden brown. Remove from cookie sheet to cooling rack.

High Altitude (3500-6500 ft): Decrease baking soda to 1 1/2 teaspoons. Bake 7 to 9 minutes.