Celebrating the Primordial Feminine:
Transforming Anger into Compassionate Wrath

By Mari Selby

As 21st century women we will continue to be easily seduced, and then just as easily dismayed, by the media's "perfect woman" as long as we buy into the outdated feminine ideal of motherly nurturance and essential passivity. And even if we don't buy into this limited ideal, our search for a "media correct" woman often leaves us dissatisfied with our army of personal trainers, therapists, and beauty consultants. What's missing? Perhaps a more evolved and holistic view of the feminine includes a wrathful aspect to our nature. Anger (or rage) is not wrath; wrath is focused, compassionate, creative and intelligent anger. Perhaps the next step in a personal and global evolution will guide women to become more primordial, wrathful and unreasonable, yet still compassionate?

What might wrathful creativity produce? Recently a friend sent me an image of a group of unreasonable women from Pt. Reyes, California . They were protesting US aggression in the Middle East by forming the word PEACE with their naked bodies. The "spirit" in the display was powerful and definitely sent a message. Their intention was to "shame" the government into rational thinking about the Middle East crisis.

Where do we source this wisdom of compassionate wrath? Today more and more women are turning to other world religions besides Christianity in their search for a deeper, more primordial and wrathful connection to feminine spirit. There has been a recent upsurge in the popularity of Kali, the Hindu goddess whose compassionate nature is both destructive and creative. In the Southwest women are drawn to the Hopi and Navajo Kachinas as a way of embracing another version of themselves. The arrival of Tantric Buddhism in the West has introduced us to the (secret and formerly hidden) ancient female deities called Dakinis. The burgeoning popularity of Dakinis is rooted in their compassionate and wrathful nature. The unique compassion of the Dakinis is their focus on the embodiment of sanity through the integration of all emotions, not just peaceful or looking-good emotions.

So, still, what are we hungry for? Are we searching for outlets for our rage? Has our rage become so strong that we can ignore it no longer? As women we've learned that the personal is political. How can we not be more angry than ever? We still see women being beaten and raped by their husbands, still assaulted and threatened by religionists, and still not being paid enough to feed their children.

We have also learned that we cannot be just angry, and then expect to be truly productive. As well, anger may not necessarily be the spiritual image we choose to mirror. How do we reconcile our rage with our desire to be spiritual? Many religions tell us to swallow our anger, or rise above it, or pray harder, or devote ourselves more intensely to our children, husbands etc. These practices do not change anything deep within ourselves.

Can we transform this anger into creative energy? One of the best films to deal with the transformation of anger into wrath is "Erin Brokavich". Erin 's bitter frustration with her own single motherhood merged with deeply felt compassion to create wrathful action. Through witnessing acute humane suffering caused by corporate polluters, Erin transformed her anger into actions that profoundly benefited her community. Erin was unreasonable throughout her entire process.

We can all create wrathful change. We can transform our lives. Where do we find the wisdom to know how to do this? Wrathful women are a force of nature, to be respected and venerated. Who were our personal models who embodied a wrathful spirit? Did our mothers stand up for us? Was there a neighbor who fostered our courage and talents? Which teacher allowed us to question authority? Each one of these people mirrored the Dakini inside us. To embrace our unreasonable and compassionate selves is to recognize ourselves as Dakinis.

Dakinis by their very essence, represent a transformational journey. The Dakini principle is found in all ancient and modern cultures. Thousands of years ago, before being swallowed by Buddhism, Dakinis were allies in the daily passage of life. Millennia later they were further demoted to a kind of demon encountered during an individual's journey through the Bardo. (To Buddhists the Bardo is the place you go when you die, then travel through to the next level of spiritual evolution.) Dakini literally translated from Tibetan means sky-goer, one who moves through all dimensions. In our modern world, Dakinis represent the natural ever-changing flow of energy, from wrathful to peaceful, and back to wrathful again. The Dakinis may physically appear to us as a person, in our emotional patterns, or as animals. Dakinis are wisdom beings, as are we all.

The Hindus and Buddhists refer to these spirits Dakinis. Native American, African, Celtic and other cultures also have many names for elemental spirits. Spider Woman is an example of a dakini in the Navajo tradition. The legend of Nzingha, the African woman who saved her people from slavery, is another example of a Dakini at work.

Dakinis are primarily represented via one of the 5 Buddhist families, each seen in its specific color, element, direction, time of day and lunar cycle. Each Dakini also represents a completed integrated range of emotion, for instance, from fear and rage to creative wrath and grace. The beauty of the Dakinis is the full range of emotion and the transformational journey within that range. When we see the creative spark in our rage and feel inspired, when we recognize the power in vulnerability, we truly know what transformation means.

To many traditional Buddhists, the Tantric Dakinis are still secret, with practices given to certain lamas and nuns. Traditional Buddhists normally do not introduce Dakinis to lay practitioners as an enlightenment practice. As well, to some westerners, the idea of confronting our demons of fear, denial, anger, jealousy or greed is very threatening. However, to those of you magnetized by these Dakinis, they are perhaps already familiar allies. To those women, we say, go ahead, leap into your dance with the Dakinis!

Any unreasonable woman is a Dakini. All the therapy and spiritual practice in the world can still leave us caught in endless negative emotional spirals. Through the realization of Dakini wisdom, integrated with our emotional poisons, we are able to break out of patterns.

Dakinis offer women a mirror image of ourselves as untamed women. Who hasn't had a bad hair day when b-itch is the only word we can relate to? By embracing the energy of the Dakini we embody an elemental spirit that surrounds us in nature. By invoking the Dakinis we become a primordial goddess, an eternal image, and a compassionately unreasonable woman.

Unearthing the primordial feminine brings relief to the tensions of a positive outer image and an inner life in turmoil. We can be angry or fearful, and, at the same time, know that the transformation of those emotions is creativity and grace. When we have exposed the hidden poisons in our psyche, the Dakinis provide a path of soulful living and transformation. With rampant worldwide spiritual hunger, Dakinis offer the synthesis of our emotional, creative, and spiritual realities.

Interesting article.

I’ve always said that in the 60’s-70’s when women were protesting for equal rights they would often have demonstrations were they would burn their bras. That always confused me, because to me, that seemed to just be focusing even more attention on the idea that they are ‘sex objects’. It seems to me that they should have been burning Bibles!

I suppose many of them were indeed Christians and weren’t about to denounce their Lord and Savior in Christ. But take Jesus out of the Bible and all that’s left is extreme patriarchal male-chauvinism. The idea that Eve was created as an afterthought from the rib of Adam as a helpmate??? The whole story begins with women being ‘secondary’ to men, and just goes downhill from there even blaming the woman for leading the first man into original sin!

It does seem quite unfortunate that the religion is so male-chauvinistic. And then, of course, the godhead is a male, there is no mention of any Mrs. God, and then he sends his only begotten ‘son’ to save all of mankind from sin. Why not send an only begotten daughter?

It is true that women take an extreme back-seat in the Bible. And even though there are a few places where women did play an important role these were very fleeting occurrences and are grossly overshadowed by the vast majority of women who are either merely background characters or genuinely suppressed.

The idea that the creator of mankind would not view all human spirits on equal footing is a serious flaw with the religion. If this is truly what God is like then surely this gender-based discrimination would continue in his kingdom of heaven. Whilst the male souls serve God, the female souls would be merely the helpmates of God’s male servants. After all, if God is unchanging and this is how he proclaimed that things should be then why should things be any differnet in his kingdom of heaven?

This bigotry toward the feminine spirit in the Bible is one of the myriad of reasons why I find these doctrines to be without merit. Had the story begun with man and woman being created side-by-side as equal partners in life the story would have been much more credible. Had the God been proclaimed to be without gender that would have been more credible too. Or at the very least, a God that has two sides with respect to gender (or two deities in one). As it is, the godhead of the Bible seems to be associated with a trinity yet at least two of those parts (the father and the son) are clearly masculine, and the “holy spirit” is more like a force that has no gender or even a personality. It’s more like the holy spirit is just another aspect of the single fatherly godhead.

So I can certainly see the desire for modern women to seek out other spiritualities that embrace the feminine as having a legitimate and equal role in the universe.

As an awakened species we are still in our infancy. We are only just beginning the journey of humanity. I believe that, in many ways, we have gotten off on the wrong foot with the whole focus on a patriarchal leadership. I don’t think it would be any better if it was purely matriarchal either. Only a pure recognition of genuine equality and respect can ever really be the basis of a truly stable society. Fortunately we are moving in that direction, and rather rapidly in historical terms.

I do believe that a society does need to have some underlying ‘belief’ system. And that system should have cosmic connections, (i.e. have some relevance to our place in the cosmos). But the idea of a patriarchal godhead surely isn’t going to be the solution. It clearly hasn’t produced good results throughout history. Such a failed belief system surely could not have been from our creator.

With this, I would like to end with a quote from a man who’s wisdom was clearly demonstrated in his work toward uncovering some of the mysteries of our world.

“The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It should transcend personal God and avoid dogma and theology. Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things natural and spiritual as a meaningful unity. Buddhism answers this description. If there is any religion that could cope with modern scientific needs it would be Buddhism.” –Albert Einstein

I believe that this type of religious view would not only be more in line with modern science, but it would also be more in line with the social needs of humanity as a whole.

However, unlike Einstein, I wouldn’t point to a specific religion such as Buddhism. Placing even that strict of a label on spirituality can cause it to become dogmatic. There are many different forms of Buddhism in the modern world, with Zen Buddhism probably being the most closely aligned with the spirit of Einstein’s words.

Personally, I would suggest something even less dogmatic in Taoism, or better yet, a purely abstract pantheistic view in general where we are viewed as truly being part of creation. In this view we worship creation (which automatically includes the creator). It can be viewed in many ways, even in ways that some may consider to be ‘atheistic’. Yet at the same time, it can embrace the idea of a ‘creator’. All it really says is that all we can only know of the creator is through our experience of creation itself (which of course includes our own spirit). A creation that we are fully a part of. Everyone is equal with respect to creation. We all belong here equally. Any borders or fences we build are of our own making. And this includes any gender chauvinism or other type of bigotry.

Sorry for the ramble but I enjoy this topic.

While I enjoyed and agreed with most everything you said, you lost me when you mentioned Taoism. It just so happens I was up late last night, as I am most nights, and I was watching on the History channel, "The History of Sex." It went through the complete history of sex within Chinese and Japanese History. I went to bed before the program was over. However I did stay up long enough to watch the whole part on the history of sex within the Chinese culture. Taoism was extremely liberal when it came to sex, so liberal it was dogmatic. A contradiction in terms? No. Taoist men believed that the escence of woman was the strongest in very young (teenaged) girls and in those women who have not yet given birth. So the ideal woman for a Taoist man was basically a teenaged girl who had never given birth. It was the Taoists man's belief to have sex with as many of these women, pleasing them, without spilling his seed to gain eternal life. And because the Chinese culture at that time believed it was ok polygamy and never looked down upon a married man seeking the services of a prostitute, I would have to say that Taoism when it was in it's prime in China was the most Chauvinistic religion/philosophy in history.

The Confucianism grabbed a hold of the Chinese culture. Confucianism was all about family and and gaining eternal life through procreation. So the perfect woman was one who could have many children. So to me Confucianism could also be viewed as a very chauvinistic religion.

Those are interesting points LadyValkyrie. I was unaware of these particular forms of Taoism.

I must confess to have not studied these religions in all their details, and the reason being, because not unlike Christianity, they too fall prey to the secularization of regional dogma.

When I spoke of Taoism I was thinking of the purest form of it’s underlying essence. I certainly never meant to agree with any advanced dogmatic form that any particular culture might have distorted it into.

This is one huge problem with religions in general, and the labels associated with them. I have heard the Klu Klux Klan proclaim that it represents “Christianity”, but in my mind this is quite a distortion from the original intent of the religion. Sometimes I wonder whether abuses for other religions aren’t along similar lines.

This is why I denounce all organized religions. Usually when I speak of a religion I’m referring solely to the core essence underlying it’s fundamental philosophy and not referring to the more advanced dogmatic version that it may have been distorted into.

For example, I think Hinduism has some really great ideas at it’s core, but as the religion grew and became more dogmatic I’m not sure if I would agree with much of its advanced teachings at all.

I think even Buddhism could be abused in this way. It all depends on how highly organized it becomes and who is taking ‘charge’ of its dogmatic content.

This is why I prefer to refer to pantheism in general (not as a religion, but simply as the fundamental world view that everything is one). I think that’s really all that needs to be said. If we recognize that everything is one, then we know that we are all equal. Everyone belongs here just as much as anyone else. And we are all a part of the whole. Whether we wish to think of that who as a ‘god’ or from an atheistic point of view it really irrelevant to the main picture.

I certainly don’t believe in any of the concepts that you had mentioned regarding procreation and idea of males seeking virgin young girls to procreate with to ensure their eternal life. That’s a part of Taoism that I was unaware of, and I would argue (hopefully correctly) that this wouldn’t be true of all cultures that embrace Taoism. If this is a fundamental idea of all forms of Taoism then perhaps I have embraced an incorrect philosophy. I was thinking more in terms of the basic essence of becoming one with the world around us and ‘flowing with the Tao’. Simply meaning to accept what life brings and go with the flow rather than trying to constantly resist life to try to force it to be the way we would like it to be.

So, just for the record, I don’t support the things you’ve mentioned, especially regarding polygamy. I tend to be naturally monogamous myself and because of this I really don’t even think of monogamy from a moral aspect. For me, monogamy is just a nature desire. But obviously this isn’t true for everyone.

Although, from a purely moral stance I don’t think in terms of monogamy or polygamy, instead I think in terms of consensual activity. As long as everything is consensual without any form of coercion or pressure then I see nothing wrong with adults doing whatever they consent to (assuming no one is hurt in the process).

Unfortunately, it does seem that some people genuinely don’t know what they want. Then it’s hard to know whether they are being consensual or just being stupid.

Although I might be completely over here in outback left field....


Primordial feminine.... could that also be interpreted as instinctual feminine?

Without societal encumbrances?

As to taoism...historically, most philosophies, and 'religions', when taken back into their historical origins, were based on female being the lessor...(disclaimer...aside from the origins of ancient, and I mean ancient, 'pagan' for want of a word 'religions').

I find, that I wear what fits me.... and discard what doesn't fit me.... I am not living in the same history, as the origins of these philosophies, and I would not be authentic to me, if I chose, to immediately adopt all of any philosophy, or religion.


Instinctual.... knowing what is good for one's Self, with the utmost respect, and honour for Self, is how I choose to be, as from there, all else flows.


I know in my posts I am irreverent, distracting, and sometimes down right contrary, and appear to be contradictory..... I am a work in progress, and human, and comfortable to display my inadequacies.

How I described Taoism is what it was in its beginings. What it has evolved into today is not something I'm too familar with. I don't believe modern Taoism is as dogmatic and chauvinistic as it originally was. I have read in several books and watched in several videos that modern day lovers often put into practice Taoist beliefs when it comes to sex. The beliefs that are spoken of are not dogmatic. Rather it's a Ying-Yang effect. A man is to keep his fire burning hot enough to bring the woman to a boil without allowing his fire consume himself. And the woman is to learn how and what brings her to boil more quickly so that her man is not tempted to be consumed by his own fire. I've had a lover who was like this. He learned to prolong his climax as long as possible to be able to fully pleasure his lover. He said he learned this through Taoism but he wasn't a Taoist.

Instinctual feminine? Without societal encumbrances? Yes... Indeed!