Songs "Written" individually by the Artist that sings them

1. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown ~ Jim Croce
2. Uptown Girl ~ Billy Joel
3. He a thinks He'll Keep Her ~ Mary Chapin Carpenter
4. Jolene ~ Ray Lamontagne
5. You've Got A Friend ~ James Taylor
6. Help Me Make It Through The Night ~ Kris Kristoperson
7. Yesterday - Paul McCartney
8. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald ~ Gordon Lightfoot
9. Old Blue Chair ~ Kenny Chesney
10.
11.
12.

Brenda will never be the same without Pete hearing his mothers headboard banging against our bedroom wall and him whimpering in the background...

Songs "Written" individually by the Artist that sings them
1. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown ~ Jim Croce
2. Uptown Girl ~ Billy Joel
3. He a thinks He'll Keep Her ~ Mary Chapin Carpenter
4. Jolene ~ Ray Lamontagne
5. You've Got A Friend ~ James Taylor
6. Help Me Make It Through The Night ~ Kris Kristoperson
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.


:-* KISSES *-:

Son you will come crawling back, it's a matter of time... You remember what happened last time you left me alone with that liquor and your grandpas old revolver... What's the point of living if you and your mother are going to leave me... You are just like your scumbag sorry excuse, waste of human flesh mother in Vermont... Don't be surprised if I'm not here when you get back... Where is that little piece of sheit dog of yours, I'm about to kick it's little f-ing a$$...

I may stop by if it's on the way to the liquor store, but hell I can't afford to drive all over town to see your a$$.. Jesus H Christ son, after I paid Brenda extra, this is the thanks I get... WTF... You will be back and I may or may not let you back in... You better leave that f-ing wheat liquor in the dam cabinet... You just don't give a sheit about me and all I have been through since your mother ran off to Vermont, you selfish little prick.. Who's going to mix my drinks while you are gone...

And there I was thinking, that the best relationship ever was between her two legs...

I'll tell you what, they better keep their balls away from my Brenda when I am paying for her... See, when I pay $15 for her for the whole night, she belongs to me and Pete and nobody else... Son mix me a shot of that dam wheat liquor and a five hour energy... You know how you make it hard on me to get going in the morning... I'm tired of this sheit...

exactly right!

I have a live-in relationship with myself and it is working out quite nice

Son, you coming in here with Brenda and I? Fix me a drink before you come in here, you know how I like that last one to be strong so I can go right on to sleep ... Brenda is already paid up for the night, so you do not have to worry about none of that ..

Songs "Written" individually by the Artist that sings them
1. Bad, Bad Leroy Brown ~ Jim Croce
2. Uptown Girl ~ Billy Joel
3. He a thinks He'll Keep Her ~ Mary Chapin Carpenter
4. Jolene ~ Ray Lamontagne
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.

:-* At least I answered it ;-)

Look here Pete, we need to talk...

I was down there at the Catholic Church the other day smoking pot and drinking communion wine with father Martin before the service... WHAT??!!!... Hell no we wasn't doing nothing illegal, I can get in my car and drive 50 miles down the interstate and throw a rock over the Colorado border, hell pot is legal over there... See we wouldn't do nothing wrong here in Kansas... But I ain't driving down the interstate without my drink now, my drink is going with me... So I was talking with father Martin as we were passing the ball back-and-forth and it hit me, I FOUND THE HOLY GHOST! Hell, I almost didn't believe it at first... But as father Martin exhaled from that joint, he said it was so... He was coughing and talking at the same time so I didn't catch everything he said but I'm sure he said it was the Holy Ghost... There's just one thing son and I want to introduce you to this here Holy Ghost, but you got to understand and accept this one thing.. See this ghost is in the form of a spider... Sheit, dateline neither... Father Martin even said so himself.. Just think of him as I Holy Ghost Spider, father Martin said he will just being you up in his way up a shield you from all evil like that Satan sperm it has you brainwashed.. Let's just try this before you run off to the Church of Wells in Texas and disown me.... Hang on right there, go fix me another drink so we can finish this conversation...

Dammit Pete, see the mess that you have gotten us into now!... Now your masters are going to release the ghost spiders in the house while we are sleeping... You may want to sleep in the bed with Brenda and I, I will pay her a little extra to stay the night and you can sleep on the other side of her... Make sure she cleans it up for you first if y'all decide to do anything while I'm passed out... Unfortunately son, you get what you pay for... This dam wheat liquor ain't so bad...

Where's my dam drink at..... Like I have said before, I am the only the sane son of a bit@h in this place...

..

And I commend you on the fine job you did raising your children, my mother did the same.

Your mother told me she was doing the child protection thingy too, I hope you do not have to learn the hard way like I did.... Sure you do not want to stay here with Brenda and I tonight?

Dear you...

You really cracked me up, I never knew just how sick you really were until just now ... The entertainment that you provide to me is priceless.. Please do not stop being you..

Why do you feel bad, she can go be the example she craves in your mama thread...

The only thing perverse about this scenario is Pete not getting my dam drinks to me fast enough, hell he is going out to the boating like later tonight if he straightens his act up... It's not my fault his bedroom is on the other side of the wall when Brenda comes over... I have offered him a shot and Brenda on more than one occasion, he just can't let that teddy bear go though... And the whimper, my God the whimper, drives me insane...