I looked at your profile -- if you were 20 years older and lived anywhere near me I'd go after you in a heartbeat!

Wow, a rodeo rider. Do you know how sexy that is? What a turn-on!

I just looked at your profile. You're 23, so you are WAY too young to be talking about "settling".

Second, you say you have personality and then you put nothing in your profile that would indicate one.

Can't ask for what you don't have to offer, mister. I find nothing more offensive than guys like you who say they want this, they want that, they want perfect, and yet what they have to OFFER is a big Zero.

Not saying all you have to offer is zero but from your profile, there ain't much to go on!

'scuse the double post!

i guess the only thing that really makes me any different then is that I not only want perfect, but that I refuse to settle, and maybe apearence us just the fastest simplest way to weed through some of them


Ummm ... NObody is perfect, not even Jessica Biel or Pamela Anderson Lee or Jennifer Aniston, or whoever is your ideal of "perfect". So that's your first mistake.

"Settle"? How old are you? If you're in your 20s, 30s, or even 40s you're a little young to be talking about "settling".

"Weed through some of them" -- no offense but, you don't look like Johnny Depp or George Clooney or Jack Black yourself, buddy, and when women use Mutual Match they may very well be "weeding through" your pic!

You just sound a bit immature. IMO!

Fade2Black and Brandy, I think we three could have a fun conversation

My last beau was 33. I'm 50. I had just turned 50. He was the best birthday present a girl could have, people!
He proposed too! And I accepted! But then, oh, sad to say, I guess it was lust after all, not love.

But oh my. THAT was a week I will never forget folks

I think the fact that you're in politics is great. If you're meeting people who don't like or get that, then they're not the right people for you.

Wherever did this term "cougar" come from?!

What do they call older men who date younger women? Wolves? Apes? Giraffes? Pigs?!

ITA with troublemaker. Geez, I wish I were as mature as you when I was 22!

Like I said, Bob, you have an answer for everything. I rather imagine that's why people keep disappearing on you. Kind of annoying.

Match is not a great site, but the money-back offer, or free six months, whatever it is, is not a bad one. At least it's something.

And as for parents posing as therapists, oh dear me. You haven't a clue. Most people are in therapy beCAUse of their parents and perhaps it might help you as well.

I keep going back to my original thought about this with you: despite what you say, you're perfectly happy to stick with your mantra that you cannot find anyone, you will not find anyone who will continue to chat with you, and that's it. Because you reject everything. Everything!

Maybe this is your hobby. To just keep wondering "why?" and "why me?" Well, why not you?

I know you won't do it but therapy I really think, is where you should go. Your ideas about therapy, as other topics, are rather distorted.

IMO I like getting to the phone as quickly as possible if I sense there is any sort of connection, attraction, possibility of friendship or more. Email only goes so far. It is very easy to swoon over, feel seduced by, or very intellectually attracted to someone via email but then as soon as you talk to them, ..... OH NO! It all disappears.

Maybe it's different for people in their twenties but I'm all for talking on the phone as soon as possible b/c email really doesn't cut it as a form of communication. WAY too much gets lost in translation.

Jistme, the reason you are getting so many emails an IMs is because your profile is hilarious and you are quite attractive. I feel like copying your profile and replacing mine with it!

Bob, Bob, Bob, I'll give you this: arrogant or no, obnoxious or no, you are persistent, so that quality alone should guarantee that sooner or later SOMEone is going to hang around and keep chatting with you

As for the guy who offered to send you newsletters with advice, I think neither of your presuppositions is correct. I think rather, he agreed with me that you're going to find fault with the newsletters anyway, one way or another so why bother? That's my guess on that.

And as for this: "And don't tell me my failure comes out of me being rude, arrogant, or whatever. Women in the Real World LOVE that stuff. (The devil take my Golden Rule upbringing....)"

What women would that be, who like men who are rude and arrogant? I don't. And I don't think any other self-respecting woman does.

The final suggestion I'd have for you is therapy. Which I'm sure you're going to scream about when you read this. If you can't cough up a couple bucks to join match.com or another "paid" dating site, I imagine you will recoil at the thought of -- God Forbid! -- paying someone to shrink your head. However, I think you might find it helpful. Not because I think you're crazy, but because I think you've got some rather unhelpful thought patterns and certainly some mistaken beliefs, that perhaps an objective person (and yes, someone whom you PAY for their experience, wisdom, and help) can discern, pinpoint, and help you correct.

"Why is it presumptuous to assume that women are sexually attracted to me?"

Because not all of them are, or will be. And you can't "make" them be so. And it IS presumptuous to assume ANYone is attracted to you. They will let you know if they are. Until then, to presume otherwise is a highly arrogant and unattractive quality. Not confident, arrogant. Presumptuous. Rude. Unattractive.

You have a rebuttal to everything I posted earlier, and despite what you say I think you like sticking to your original thing: that women run away from you and you don't know why. Well, based on this thread, I'D run away from you for sure. You've got an answer for everything. You're like Mr. One-Upper: "Oh yeah? You did that? Well, I did this." Again, another unattractive trait.

Nor are your thoughts on Internet dating attractive. Since you think the only women online are ones who are "desperate" or incapable of attracting a man's attention in real life, what on earth are you doing here?

And for you to be "insulted" that you might pay for a dating site is just plain ridiculous. YOU're the one who feels insulted, which means you think you SHOULD be able to do this yourself, to attract a woman by yourself, but clearly you are incapable of doing so, so it seems to me you need and would be grateful for any help you can get.

However, you're not, as you've proved time and time again in this thread. So, I hang my hat. I tried. Good luck to you, buddy.

"If these women are seeking guys for relationships through the internet, they must not be getting a lot of male attention in real life"

You are making a huge assumption there. You don't know anything of the kind!

"If I went through them and picked out the ones that are relevant to you ; would be you keen to have a read?"
You could give it a whirl, but don't be offended if I find it riddled with holes."

Here I see more evidence of nice people on this site offering thoughts, advice, help and you automatically rejecting it out of hand because You Know Better. That certainly smacks of arrogance to me. You haven't even read this guy's stuff yet and you're already presuming it is "riddled with holes"!

"why does everyone feel the need to have a mate? Enjoy being young and single...go out and have fun while you can!!"
Because human beings are social creatures and the need for a mate is deeply embedded into our genetic programming. I don't know what your dating life has been like, but for me, having the ability to make women like you but then somehow cause them to run away in fear is NOT fun. How do I enjoy my singlehood?"

Umm, your wording here is telling. You say "for me, having the ability to make women like you" -- nobody "makes" anybody do anything. We all have free will. People either like your or don't like you, but we cannot "make" people do anything, least of all love us. They choose to do that or not do that.

You also say "but then somehow cause them to run away in fear" -- again, you do not control people. You can't "cause" anyone to do anything. You say something, the girl responds, she creates her own response to you, to whatever you've said or done. And the fact that you're saying "in fear" really concerns me! What exactly do you do, anyway?

Okay some more comments on other's comments on this thread:

"after you are feeling more comfortable with whoever you are speaking with, do you let them know what your expectations are in your future?"
Actually, I can very rarely ever get that far. With some girls I move a bit more slowly, but others I can connect with a lot faster. As far as expectations go, I let them know right away that I'm not looking for sex on the first date. Is that what's turning them off?"

I'm curious how the topic of sex even comes up. Do you automatically just say "I'm not looking for a one-night stand"? I mean, that's kind of odd, right? From out of nowhere? For one thing it's presumptuous to assume the woman is attracted to you in that way. And secondly it's just kind of "out there". I mean, you're talking to the girl and then the topic just turns to sex? I'd find that odd to say the least.

Back to your original question:

"Why do women who enjoy talking to me suddenly cease all communication from completely out of nowhere?"

If that is happening every time, every single time you start chatting, it'd be helpful to read a sample of one of your emails. Is that what you're talking about? You email back and forth and then she disappears? And/or, in "real life" you're chatting with a girl and then she takes off? Is it both?

Bob, Bob, Bob. You're persistent, I'll give you that

And clearly people find this an interesting topic, so bravo for you on keeping your thread going.

Okay. Now. Some more comments. You replied to my suggestion about trying paid dating sites with this:

"I find dating services/advice that you have to pay for to be an insult."

Why? If you have a stopped up sink, you hire a plumber. If you need/want a new chair, you buy it. You, Bob, would like to meet more women. What's wrong with putting your profile on Match.com or eHarmony or wherever?

"Millions of people all over the world are getting dates for free, be it in real life or over the internet. Why shouldn't I be able to do the same."

Well, we don't know that, right? And lots of people here are trying to help you. A paid site is just an option. That's all it is, increasing your options of finding someone you might like who might like you back.

"Shouldn't paying someone for dating help be a big sign of desperation anyway?"

Again, WHY on EARTH do you think that? Desperation would be if you continued chasing a girl after she already indicated she wasn't interested. It doesn't sound like you do that. Paid sites are as I said, just another route to go if what you're doing in "real life" isn't working.

Okay, well, have you tried a "paid" dating service? There is a difference between paying and not paying. I haven't been a member here that long so my experiences here are not vast but my experience on the for-profit sites is that people there are more serious about finding someone and having a relationship. This site seems to me to be more about chat and friendship than anything else. Not that there's anything wrong with that

A teetotaler is someone who doesn't drink.

Given the nature of your other relationships I'm surprised you haven't met women to date through them. Best way to meet people is through other people.

Or is it that you meet plenty of people but then they get "scared off" or don't want to date for some reason. Are you too good at being The Friend? as opposed to the Boyfriend?