Community > Posts By > lovesongsweetie

 
lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 08:25 PM

One man's opinion:

1. Replace the negative comments about yourself with something positive. You're not a social retard. You're not a 'looser' in marriage. Watch the language. Attitude has a lot to do with it.

2. Please use spell check when writing. Women like to think they're conversing with an intelligent man.

3. Take an active interest in the things women like. What's her favorite book? Then read it. Music? Listen to it. Celebrities? Know them. It seems superficial, but women like to know you're curious about them and their hobbies. Have some of your own to talk about as well. You're right. Not just racing.

4. Be encouraging, supportive and make a woman feel validated.

5. Whatever you do, don't make a woman think that you're desperate. Big turn off there.

Again, just my opinion.

You seem like a cool guy. Good luck, man.

i second that

and if u genuinely want help in a way that brings real changes to your life when it comes to women and dating, i can point u in the right direction. some of my best guy friends are "pickup artists" and can help you immensely.

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 08:19 PM
all that stuff is true in GENERAL but no indicator of interest is always 100% a real indicator of interest...except one

if you are really in tune with your inner self, you should be able to FEEL the chemistry between you two. its just a vibe :wink:

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 08:13 PM
so whats ur plan of action mr nice guy?

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 08:12 PM
where can i find a list of these acronyms and their meanings? i dont know them =(

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 08:02 PM
thnx every1 =)

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 07:59 PM

While this response sounds good, its flawed at the same time. No one person contains all these traits at one time. Unless your Jesus.

If you happened to have all these traits, but was physically ugly, it wouldn't get you anywhere. Its a sad truth. A guy/girl doesn't look at someone and say "Gee what a great set of traits that person has" or "Wow what a great brain". if you don't have the looks, then getting anything started does not happen.

time to start the war!
You have nooo idea how wrong you are, buddy.
It sounds like you don't understand that men and women see the world differently and respond to different things. Men's brains and women's brains are wired differently through forty-thousand years of evolution.

by the way, all those traits can be LEARNED. It's never just black or white. It's never just nature or nurture. It's BOTH. some people are born with many of these characteristics and everyone can LEARN them if they committed to the process.

if a woman doesn't have the visual sex appeal, or looks, she is probably going to have a hard time with attracting most men. we both know that.

it sounds like you have nooooo idea of what's attractive to women. let me enlighten you:

The shallow level of what attracts men to women is looks. Men respond primarily to looks. The shallow level of what attracts women to men is social value. Women respond primarily to percieved social status.

How can you make urself look like ur at the top of the social food chain? by having those traits and mannerisms that I listed above. you disagree with me because you dont know what im talking about, and you dont know what im talking about because uve never tried it.

i know PLENTY of guys that possess every one of the traits and mannerisms ive listed. they are very successful in every area of their lives, especially with women. and guess what? most of them aren't exactly 10s to say the least.

Mimx, stop assuming that other people view the world through your eyes. ive read some of your other posts and frankly...your dogmatic and pessimistic closedmindedness annoys the heck outa me.

oh, and if u like science, here ya go:
http://www.sciencedirect.com/cache/MiamiImageURL/B6T6H-46MBG2V-3-2/0?wchp=dGLbVzb-zSkWz
just take a look at the first item. statistically significant with an alpha value of .01.
credit: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6T6H-46MBG2V-3&_user=86449&_coverDate=09%2F30%2F2002&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000006858&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=86449&md5=578e72a8be2a399e3e56cf5751f162ca with Buss, D.M., 1989. Sex differences in human mate preferences: evolutionary hypotheses tested in 37 cultures. Behavioral and Brain Sciences (reference)

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 07:02 PM
there is no black and there is no white...just shades of gray :wink:

the shades that seem black to u are just really dark grays and the ones that seem white are just really light grays. lol

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 08:08 AM
Blue Oyster Cult - Don't Fear the Reaper

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 07:31 AM
Foo Fighters - Darling Nikki

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 07:25 AM
can someone define and explain contingency for me?

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 07:06 AM
Iron Maiden - Flight of Icarus

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 06:44 AM
thank you wolfchic =)

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 06:42 AM
oh god i took one look at your profile picture and i had the sudden urge to make out with another woman

LOL jk welcome and have fun

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 06:27 AM
well the only reason a guy would end up in the friend zone in the first place would be if he never spark attraction...

i guess if a male friend of a woman started to spark attraction then she would be willing to date him.

universally attractive traits include, but are certainly not limited to:
>optimism
>confidence
>playfulness!
>fearlessness
>sociability (linked to popularity)
>adaptability
>inner strength
>ambition, passion
>authenticity

universally attractive mannerisms/habits include, but are certainly not limited to:
>smiling
>vocal projection and depth (true for men, but I don't think this applies to women...)
>setting and meeting goals (achievement)
>treating everyone with the same level of respect at which he/she respects him/herself
>not tolerating disrespect
>having confident, "alpha male" body language (for ladies: having sexy, feminine body language)

A woman MAY think "wow, this could be the one..." when the man she is interacting with is able to put her into various positive emotional states consistently and effectively. This is why i put an exclamation mark next to playfulness. =)

Also, the number one thing both men and women look for in a potential partner for life is kindness and understanding. I learned that one in my evolutionary psychology class lol.

I hope that helped,
-LSS

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 06:04 AM
unfortunately for some, first impressions are very important...

you can make the cover of your book more interesting! =)

just as you can add more chapters, you can change the title to something more interesting and/or more congruent with the story within, and you can add colors to the cover =)

All you have to do is let go of fear; don't be afraid to say the things that really express who YOU are on the inside. That leaves the best first impression of all.

Don't just be yourself, be your best self. =D

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 05:58 AM
nice guys just need more self-confidence... and they need to show that confidence to women

perfect combination =)

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 05:51 AM
It's just that, stereotypically, nice guys tend to blend in and not stand out, so it can be difficult to recognize their existance. That's why they are so hard to find. If you go to a bar or club, see the guy who's slounched over in the corner of the room, looking around somewhat nervously as if it's his first time there? Most likely a nice guy. These types of men, who are actually very plentiful in number, will generally not approach women, so you kinda have to approach them. They can be socially awkward at first but once they get comfortable with you (which may take some time and effort on your part) they usually have a lot of interesting things to say.
Most of us girls usually can't muster up the courage to approach, or we don't want to invest in all the trouble of having to "lead the dance" of flirting and courtship in the first stages of getting to know a nice guy. It takes a lot of work to get a nice guy...

There ARE confident, cool, self-respecting men out there that know how to treat a woman right, though. Theyre just really rare.

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 05:32 AM
i think the last line of that poem is sexist.

everyone, regardless of gender, should learn to be mature enough to admit when theyre wrong...

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 03:45 AM
noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

lovesongsweetie's photo
Tue 11/20/07 03:22 AM
where did my older inbox messages and my sent mail go??? are messages deleted automatically over time or something? how do i prevent this?