Community > Posts By > 48Young

 
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Fri 02/16/18 08:02 AM


It's one thing to fall in love and quite another to be in love. Love requires a willingness to sacrifice and surrender. The goal changes from being happy to having a strong desire to make them happy. To not seek them to complete you, but to enter into your relationship offering them a complete you.
A love that is meant for a lifetime, that provides joy when times are tough and peace when you can only see turmoil can not be divided.
Maybe slow down and continue to develop your friendships. Beyond a soul mate you will want strong, trustworthy friends. Be careful not to lose that while pursuing lust and companionship.

Nice words there :thumbsup: full of truth


I'll second that. Elliquently stated. biggrin

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Fri 02/16/18 07:57 AM


why? explain please.
I don't know about other men, but I can't make sense from the senseless...so I don't try anymore...


I predict you may be about to learn some women's minds very shortly mightymoe. rofl

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Fri 02/16/18 07:35 AM



I'm confused..isn't it you ladies who are always saying looks aren't important? Or do y'all just tell me that?


I think physical attraction is rarely a reflexion of GQ or Covergirl standards of beauty. Most women can find physical attraction in kind eyes, charming smiles or even cute earlobes. Lol!

The question here is whether an attraction to personality and intellect bring our attention to physical attractions we were not initially drawn to.

I believe most women are more excited about the gift than the wrapper. flowerforyou
I agree with that, men are similar to that when it comes to lifemate, but since all males in every species are basically only here for one purpose, human males are the only ones to put beauty first... In most other animals, the male is the "prettier" of the two and generally smaller and less useful, with mammals being the exception...

Basically, men are stupid when it comes to females...


I learned that animal fact myself during a game of Trivial Pursuit in high school. Lol! It's a little weird how flipped our gender roles are from the rest of the animal kingdom.

In my experience, the men who think they've got us all figured out are the ones to watch out for. noway

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Fri 02/16/18 07:20 AM

No, and doubt this would ever happen.
I don't think I ever dated because of physical attraction. From all the guys I dated there were only 3 I thought could be the right one for me and that had nothing much to do with physical attraction.

I need mental/emotional attraction, and a bit of chatting (online) can tell me very quickly if that's there or not. If not, I don't date. Why waste my time.


I think I'm much the same. I do believe I begin to see a man's personality in his face as I come to know him. I find that physically attractive in itself. I've not tried chatting with men online yet. I've only responded to one email so far. Lol!

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Fri 02/16/18 07:14 AM

I'm confused..isn't it you ladies who are always saying looks aren't important? Or do y'all just tell me that?


I think physical attraction is rarely a reflexion of GQ or Covergirl standards of beauty. Most women can find physical attraction in kind eyes, charming smiles or even cute earlobes. Lol!

The question here is whether an attraction to personality and intellect bring our attention to physical attractions we were not initially drawn to.

I believe most women are more excited about the gift than the wrapper. flowerforyou

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Fri 02/16/18 06:53 AM


Note: not a personal experience, just something I thought could be interesting discussion.

Have you ever been on a date (maybe a blind date/setup) with someone you initially had no physical attraction to, only to discover so much inner attraction you had to see them again?

If Yes, did your inner attraction change your physical attraction to them and how?

Attraction (any kind) to another human being (female or male) is our primary (initial) judgement that sets the stage for our level of interaction (if any).

Consider that there are different kinds and levels of attraction
Physical attraction
Sexual attraction
Intellectual attraction
Spiritual attraction
Financial attraction
Authority attraction
and even
Emotional attraction.

They don't occupy their own lil boxes. They over-lap, intensify and blur.
Whats more, they change as our perception changes as our emotional states ebb and flow.

Any discussion on attraction must also have considerations about repulsions.
There may be a physical attraction but a sexual repulsion. Any combination at any time and not set in stone.

Its the perception in the moment that sets the attraction/repulsion. Familiarity (duration of perception) changes the perceived attraction/repulsion.
Attraction is not a bold straight line drawn from one person to another, its a bunch of squiggly lines that loop and twist and fade and brighten as we spend time in their presence.


This reads like informative poetry. Nicely put.

So have you experienced a burgeoning perception in one type of attraction which overflows onto another type of attraction?

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Fri 02/16/18 06:45 AM

I think there has to be AN attraction, but there doesnt HAVE to be an initial physical attraction, as long as one is not actually physically repulsed ... lol.


so my first interracial date, I was not physically attracted to him at all, but that wasnt because he was 'unattractive', just not aligned with the 'physical' type that excited me at the time.

However, in getting to know the individual, I became very attracted to him, to his wit and charm and swag, and from all that a physical attraction developed. It happens when one has not closed their mind to accepting nothing but an initial physical spark.


I have experienced this, but not interracially, or even physically. I spent time with a man who was not my usual personality type, and discovered a hidden treasure in it. biggrin I think we sometimes don't even realize how many doors are closed in our minds until one of them opens unexpectedly.

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Fri 02/16/18 06:31 AM

I had a dream I saw this topic in another thread on the site...


You probably have. I only when back a few pages before deciding to do it. slaphead

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Fri 02/16/18 04:51 AM


Wow, Tom4Uhere! You sure dream alot!

In my dreams I just fly over my neighborhood, forget to wear clothes to work, live under the sea or run from a killer through an impossibility long corridor.

I was really fishing for more attainable dreams like climbing Mt. Everest. Lol!

Oh...Duh

I have a lot of ideas that could be called dreams...

Being a mechanic I always dreamed of owning a salvage yard.
Not just cars but everything.
I had a very intensive a detailed business plan at one time.
It was similar to a franchise or facility chain to be opened across the nation.

I also had a business plan to open automotive hobby shops as a franchise or chain of shops.
It would have 6 bays, a parts room, a tool rental room, car lifts and truck racks, a paint booth and all the equipment and tools to work on cars. It even involved hiring mechanics to advise members how to work on their cars.

Another franchise I was thinking of is a bar/grill w/theater.
Instead of stadium seating and dark theater, the bar would play the movies on big screen TVs and patrons could buy or bring their own headphones to plug in at the tables. There would be 3 or 4 stadium theaters where patrons could go to watch the movies in standard and 3d modes. The door fee would cover all the movies, so patrons could watch multiple movies while partying.

I always wanted to be a physicist. Preferably a theoretical physicist. Working with nanotechnology.

I've always wanted to fly a jet fighter too.


Wouldn’t it be fun to tell people, “theoretically I’m a physicist”? rofl

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Thu 02/15/18 10:47 PM
i was just not aware that x-rays, DNA or carbon 14 analysis could determine intelligence.

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Thu 02/15/18 10:12 PM
I doubt it will make getting over her any easier.

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Thu 02/15/18 10:07 PM
Edited by 48Young on Thu 02/15/18 10:07 PM

Not yet sleeping so I am not yet dreaming :p kidding

I wanna own a house and have a business (tutorial center, apartment or fruit farm) :) hoping to have that 5-10 years from now... I am still helping my parents while saving money too for my future :D


Keep it up and you’ll see it happen. :thumbsup:

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Thu 02/15/18 10:04 PM


I'll play.

I always wanted to have a quant little coffee -slash- bookshop somewhere with a small town feel.

I gave up my little dream because I turned out to be pretty good at what I do now, and I enjoy being pretty good at what I do more than taking that big of a risk. And also because Barns and Noble took my idea and super sized it into an entity impossible to compete with. Lol!




Being good at what you do and enjoying it is a dream come true! Of course starting a "starbucks and noble" chain would have been pretty cool..


It’s hard to leave something you like when so many dislike their own work. Besides my little shop dream could always morph into a retirement bisiness. You never know.

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Thu 02/15/18 10:00 PM

Great question. Some dreams never materialized, such as pitching for the Detroit Tigers. At 10 I had learned to dream, but lacked the motivation or knowledge to formulate a plan. Today, I get to help college athletes learn how to take a dream, formulate a plan, and bring it into reality. I never dreamed of being a track coach, but honestly, this is a bit better than any of the dreams I had as a young man.

I know.. reading the other answers, this lacks something.. laughs.. I'll work on improving my memory of old dreams.. :)


How could that possibly lack a thing? Ending up with something better than a dream is the tops! biggrin

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Thu 02/15/18 06:36 PM
Wow, Tom4Uhere! You sure dream alot!

In my dreams I just fly over my neighborhood, forget to wear clothes to work, live under the sea or run from a killer through an impossibility long corridor.

I was really fishing for more attainable dreams like climbing Mt. Everest. Lol!

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Thu 02/15/18 05:10 PM

Aaaaaawww that sucks frustrated


Tell me 'bout it! laugh

He probably only dated super models anyway. ohwell

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Thu 02/15/18 05:08 PM


Is it ironic that you can't iron irony?

Very much so lolroflrofl thanks for making me laugh flowers


I can't take credit. I saw "you can't iron irony" from someone on Twitter. happy

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Thu 02/15/18 05:03 PM




Note: not a personal experience, just something I thought could be interesting discussion.

Have you ever been on a date (maybe a blind date/setup) with someone you initially had no physical attraction to, only to discover so much inner attraction you had to see them again?

If Yes, did your inner attraction change your physical attraction to them and how?

I have never been on a blind date. Is it strictly with a person you haven’t seen or talked with ever? Do people still do this? And can it be possible on line or this is what’s going on already here lol . I can kinda compare it here. Chatting with people around the world with no real idea about who they are and sometimes they are more that what they say (or less) . Initially some would be boring but when we give it a chance and get to know the person more , we find out we’re really not wasting our time after all . Am I off topic ? Lol slaphead keeps posting flowers


Not off topic at all. Online would be a good example. I just figured most people would only give a chance to someone they held no attraction for if they were set up.

I don't know if blind dates still exist. The last one I went on was a long time ago. My best friend's bf had a buddy in town and asked me to pair with him for dinner so he didn't feel like a third wheel.

How was your experience? That sounded interesting shades


My experience would not apply here. That man may have been the most beautiful male specimen I've ever seen. He was also very intelligent and witty and good natured. He also lived in Iceland and went home two days after I met him. tears laugh

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Thu 02/15/18 04:56 PM
Is it ironic that you can't iron irony?

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Thu 02/15/18 04:52 PM


Note: not a personal experience, just something I thought could be interesting discussion.

Have you ever been on a date (maybe a blind date/setup) with someone you initially had no physical attraction to, only to discover so much inner attraction you had to see them again?

If Yes, did your inner attraction change your physical attraction to them and how?

I have never been on a blind date. Is it strictly with a person you haven’t seen or talked with ever? Do people still do this? And can it be possible on line or this is what’s going on already here lol . I can kinda compare it here. Chatting with people around the world with no real idea about who they are and sometimes they are more that what they say (or less) . Initially some would be boring but when we give it a chance and get to know the person more , we find out we’re really not wasting our time after all . Am I off topic ? Lol slaphead keeps posting flowers


Not off topic at all. Online would be a good example. I just figured most people would only give a chance to someone they held no attraction for if they were set up.

I don't know if blind dates still exist. The last one I went on was a long time ago. My best friend's bf had a buddy in town and asked me to pair with him for dinner so he didn't feel like a third wheel.