I threw that "diva" comment in there because while I believe that a BBW has every right to feel good about herself, the "diva" mentality, with all its arrogance and self centeredness, is unstomachable (if there is such a word). I'm all for good self-esteem, but egocentrism is something else enitrely. With that said, BBW's of the world, don't let anyone put you down because of your size. Divas of the world, begin your diet of humble pie ASAP!

One more note: What is the positive term big men refer to themselves as? What do the male counterparts of "divas" call themselves? I don't check men's profiles, so I wouldn't know these things.

I'm pleased with the responses so far! I thought about the issue of dealbreakers a bit more and came up with a few others: poor choice of friends (hanging out with people who use drugs and/or engage in criminal activities, gangs, etc.), really extreme political views (either way), bisexuality (I am not prejudiced against people of other orientations, but dating is different), bad temper or attitude, extremely poor hygiene, and psychosis.
The following, which may be dealbreakers to some, are not problems for me: excess weight (not to the point of debilitation), smoking (cigarettes, maybe cigars, but nothing else), tattoos (provided they are not satanic or hateful), piercings, unusual hairstyles, lack of education, religion different from my own (nothing extreme, though), political philosophy different from my own (again, nothing extreme), temporary unemployment, and weak English speaking (I can help with this).

I am really appreciative of the responses received! Let's keep this thread going!

I am sure there are postings on this topic somewhere within the forum, but I thought I'd start a thread anyway. My dealbreakers are the following: drugs, excessive drinking, kids (I have no problem with children per se, but I am looking for a relationship, not to raise someone else's kids. Also, in many cases, children from a broken home often resent whoever their mother dates or marries), involvement in religious cults, criminal activities, being married or engaged, and living too far away (I am comfortable staying where I am and would never relocate. I wouldn't expect anyone to relocate on my behalf either).

I have no problem with women calling themselves BBW's, because many of them are beautiful, and I find many of the ones I have seen attractive. What I do find perturbing are "titles" like "diva," which gives the impression that the member is vain, egotistical, spoiled, narcissistic, and impossible to please.

I heard once that stars we see now may have burned out a long time ago, but because of how far they were away from Earth, it took until now for their light to reach us. Could it be possible that some of the inactive users of this sight might actually be dead and their profiles still show up like those burned out stars? If that were the case, then those of us who messaged some of the users labelled "last seen over a month ago" may have actually emailed a ghost! lol!!!

Generally speaking, I don't hate people, just certain attitudes: hypocrisy, arrogance, self-centeredness, bigotry, demagoguery, inconsideration, self-indulgence without regard for others, abusiveness (no matter who the victim is), rudeness, self-righteousness, cruelty (to animals or people) to name a few.

Dear ms myka,
I think your tattoos look fine and I don't have a problem with women wearing tattoos, as long as they are strictly artistic and don't convery a message of hate. I would rather date a NICE woman with her fair share of tattoos than a nasty one with no tattoos at all. I view tattoos the same way I view other things such as height, weight, smoking, education level, etc. These things are not a big deal to me one way or another. I have certain preferences, but I am willing to forego them in favor of the inner qualities such as honesty, loyalty, caring, trustworthiness, and kindness which are far more important. These things might not be cool to some people, but I feel that they are important if a relationship is going to last and lead in a positive direction.

He just realized that marriage is not a word...It's a sentence!

Troubled Soul, or anything else by Amy MacDonald. She is virtually unknown in the U. S., huge in Scotland and Great Britain. Only 22, but sings and writes like someone who really has lived life. She can stand shoulder to shoulder with any great singer/songwriter of the 60's or 70's.

My sage wisdom about how the truth shocks and offends was not directed at those who simply see the truth another way. It was meant for a few, who can't seem to disagree agreeably. I still believe that there is truth to the assertion that to some people, a date or a good time is not possible without alcohol.

It was the first day of first grade, and the teacher told the class "You are now in First Grade. You are big boys and girls now. So, there will be no more baby talk. Now I would like each of you to tell me what you did over the summer. Let's start with Johnny."
"I went on a choo-choo train ride," said Johnny.
"Now Johnny, remember, no baby talk. Mary, you're next."
"I went to grandpa's farm and got to ride a horsey!" she said.
"Mary, I heard baby talk. This is first grade. Let's hear from Tommy."
"I read a book with my parents," he said.
"Oh really? What book?"
"Winnie the sh@t!"

I see that a few people took offense at my comments regarding the fixation with alcohol consumption on dating site profiles and how some people can't imagine a date taking place anywhere else but a bar. To those folks I offer this sage piece of wisdom: The truth shocks and offends.

Thank you, Loy 822! A walk in a park, or in a mall when the weather is inclement may be a good idea. A restaurant or museum is also nice.

I understand that and welcome that. It is that someone accused me of putting in something that deserved to be "crashed." The original title of the thread was "For 38 year olds only," simply because it was unique to people that age. It was never meant to be elitist or exclusivist. Some people take things the wrong way and like to assume the worst. I posted a positive thread that made a simple point that I thought people might find interesting. I never imagined it would lead to this.

Thank you denny4844! You were the only serious reply to my post! I agree with you 100% Also, alcohol doesn't bring out the best in people. A good first date should involve thoughtful conversation, not drunken debauchery!

It is my opinion that a coffee house is an ideal place for a first date. It is quiet, cozy, and a nice environment for two people to talk and try to get acquainted. At a bar, on the other hand, it is more difficult to converse because of loud music and TV's as well as obnoxious patrons. Also, alcohol may get in the way of the two people truly getting to know eachother. It is no secret that people act differently after a few drinks. A first date, to me is an early step toward what will hopefully become a long term relationship. I'm not looking for a drinking buddy. Unfortunately, many people seem to think that a first date or dating in general MUST involve alcohol. I am looking to meet a special someone, not looking to become an alcoholic! That is why I feel that a coffee house is the best place for a first date to take place.

A woman dies and ends up at the pearly gates. Her only sin in life was that she hated her husband. St. Peter greets her, looks at his book, and says "You can enter if you spell one word correctly."
"What's the word," she asked.
"Love," replied St. Peter.
"L-O-V-E," she said.
"That is correct. You may come in," he said.
Just then, St. Peter was paged and asked to go to an important meeting with The Boss. He asked the lady to tend the gate until he returns. All of a sudden, her husband appears at the pearly gates.
"You can come in if you spell one word correctly, my dear," she said.
"What's the word," asked her husband.
"Czechoslovakia."

Dear Burgundybry,
I saw Ian Anderson performing live with a small orchestra in 2006. It was awesome! I, too believe Jethro Tull was in its heyday during the 70's and prior.

Dear pmarco41,
If you're not 38, why would you reply at all? I guess some people reply to anything. By the way, I changed the wording of the title so that it would not be "crashed." I thought my post was an interesting point to ponder. I never intended for it to be taken that way.

My username, quiterightlyso, was taken from a song titled "Quite Rightly So" by Procol Harum from 1968. Even though I wasn't born until 1972, I really love and identify with the music of that era, especially The Moody Blues, Procol Harum, Jethro Tull, CCR, The Move, Eric Burden and the Animals, the list goes on and on. I will say that there are some phenomenal artists today as well. Among them are A Fine Frenzy, Amy Mac Donald, KT Tunstall, Katie Melua, Toby Lightman, Lenka, and most recently Florence and the Machine. I guess my musical taste is part hippie and part yuppie!