Dear ALYSE,
I have spent a lot of time on this and other dating web sites. I find that the whole "getting trashed" thing goes both ways. So many women's profiles contain at least one picture that depicts the member in a scene of wild debauchery holding a drink and wearing a facial expression that ranges from a zombie-like trance to a look of pure lunacy. Many women seem to think that a date MUST involve the consumption of alcohol and if a man doesn't want that, there is something wrong with him. To sum it up, I would say that the dating scene is kind of like the scenes from Mardi Gras in New Orleans or Spring Break in Brownsville Texas shown on TV news. Both males and females are guilty of overindulging.

I was just wondering how prevalent scams are on Mingle2 and if anyone has any stories to share. I got a match not that long ago that I found a little bit suspicious to say the least. The lady that matched me claimed that she emigrated from a country that is notorious for mail order brides and other such schemes. In fact, she mentions that country more than once. Also, she claimed to be near 50, but the photo shows a much younger woman, maybe 30 or so. I deleted the match right away, even though I tend to give a response to anyone who acknowledges my profile, no matter how incompatible we may be. I'm curious, have people used this sight for scams, or have I watched too many true crime documentaries?

Here is a point for 38 year olds like myself to ponder. Being 38, it dawned on me not that long ago that I am exactly half way between 16 and 60. Scary thought, isn't it?

On this and other dating sites, I tried to be open to possibly dating women in their 20's. Unfortunately, from what I am seeing in many of their profiles, their mentality hasn't changed since highschool. I see angst, attitude, rebellion and an almost unhealthy fixation on partying, bars, etc. Don't get me wrong, certainly not all women under thirty fit this stereotype and some are more mature than some of their older counterparts. Not to sound sexist, I am sure there are a plethora of 20 something young men who have not left the high school gym locker room, mentally and emotionally speaking. I choose the 30 to 45 age group not only because my age is smack dab in the middle but I feel it is reasonable to hope that most women by that time have long since left their adolescence behind. I am hoping to find a mature lady, preferably without kids, who is youthful enough to share a few good laughs with, but is mature enough to carry on a deep, thoughtful conversation.

Thanks for the invite. I think I will do that.

I was looking for objective information from actual users, not the link to upgrade. I should have made that clear in my posting, and I am sorry for the confusion. I would like objective information from various people before I consider upgrading. I hope to learn its costs and benefits from people who upgraded, both pro and con.

What does an upgrade entail? What does it cost? What are the benefits?

I joined Mingle2 back on 8/12/10 and am finally introducing myself here. Talk about procrastination! I have started some threads and got some interesting and insightful answers! I must confess that I enjoy the blogs more than the actual date quest! I have not had much success in that respect as of yet. Most of the ladies I messaged have not been online in over 30 days, which I didn't notice at the time. Now when I see that distinction on a profile, I close it up quickly. I've had a few matches, which were more like mismatches, although I still thanked them for replying. I guess I will have to wait patiently for the right person to come along. In any event, I would like to say hellow to all my fellow minglers out there and wish everyone goodluck!

Interesting post, iam4u. You seem to know what you are talking about. I could sense some anger in your post, however. I hope it wasn't directed at me for starting this thread, or for being green about certain aspects of cyber dating. At any rate, I appreciate the information. As someone new to this, I will keep it in mind as I continue my online dating journey.

Excellent responses from Thorb and Saburosa089. Both made sense to me and each in a different way. I have experienced this twice already, by one who I feel did it intentionally, the other who maybe was doing it accidentally and didn't realize it. I don't think the second one was smart enough to do it on purpose. All I can say is that if I see a relationship is not meant to be, I would stop it ASAP, with tact, and without leaving the other person wondering why or what they did wrong. I know that like anyone else, I am not perfect, and that in each of these cases I never stepped out of line. I will chalk these up as learning experiences and move on. Thanks again.

Well, we have some comedians out there! This was a legitimate question, as I am a novice to this sort of thing. I'd like to hear some serious replies, please.

A lot of profiles warn against "game play" and claim that they don't engage in it themselves. What constitutes "game play?" What are some examples of this and how can I detect if someone is playing games? Are there any warning signs I should look for? I would appreciate any info I could get.

I saw one replier to my topic make reference to the Illinois Vortex. What is it? Also, I have seen in many profiles "doesn't play games", "not a game player," etc. I have a good idea as to what gameplaying is, but I would like to see what other people think constitutes gameplaying. How can you detect if someone is "playing games?"

Thank you, Markecephus!

Dear charles,
What is stealth mode, and how do I use it. I am a novice at this.

Thank you for your insightful response. I replied to every wink or response I ever got on any site regardless of distance, incompatibility, or lack of attraction. What gets me is that in all the messages I sent, I was polite, respectful, and above all, appropriate. That is the way I am. Maybe if I was rude and crude, I'd have more luck. I wouldn't compromise my values, however. I wonder if women have the same problem when they respond to men's profiles. I am more concerned about all those dead profiles. There are just so many of them. So many of the people I would like to meet haven't been online in 30 days.

I'm beginning to think this is a dead site! No one even views me! So many of the members I reply to never get back to me. I wonder truly how many of them are really active users?

How do I find out which members are no longer online? I emailed some members who are listed as not on line in over 30 days. How do I know if they are gone for good?