> >
> > I have 4 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in
> > line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told
> > her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't
> > because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
> > before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
> > orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
> > and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets
> > and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
> > nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
> > I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
> > enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
> > Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I
> > had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street
> > licking my ass and a car hit me.
> >
> > I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he
> > staggered out the door.
> >
> > Stupid lady...why else would I buy dog food??

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2 a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food