I attend a UU church in my area. It's "home".When I walk through the doors, I get an instant high. =) I've attended a few of them in other places, but none of them felt as good as this one here. If I ever have to leave, I'm really gonna miss them!

So, I've got a dilemma. I've always been dependant upon the men in my life. Married young, had babies, divorced young, married again, divorced and dependant upon the boyfriend. I've had jobs, but never had to support myself.

Well, I'm in a situation where I need to grow up, get a "real job" in a market where jobs are scarce and to top it off, I need to help my daughter (17) her husband (18) and baby survive. The housing situation that was promised us fell through, and so we are scrambling to get that taken care of. I was offered a job (YAY!! I am happy about it!) but it doesn't pay a whole lot.

My mom just called. She offered to let me come live with her while I get on my feet. Downside? Her home is 1) not big enough for all of us to show up to and 2) over 2000 miles from where we are right now. I know that if I go there, I can get into school (which was the plan until these plans blew up!) and probably not really have to worry about money/roof over my head/food on the table until I get on my feet.

How do I abandon my child again? They could go live with his mom, but that situation is toxic! His mom has medical issues, and is a chain smoker. The baby was born a wee bit premature, and the smoke in the house would NOT be good for her.

What would you do? Leave your child to fend for herself? Risk damaging that relationship for maybe a better life for *yourself* or stick it out, hoping things get better where you are?

(I must be crazy to be posting this here, but some unbiased opinions would be helpful. My best friend wants me to stay here, but she doesn't want me to leave again after being away for 2 years!)

I worked in an infant room, and you are indeed a slave to those babies! You can't help but fall in love with some of them though! And really, what they pay you is pretty much a joke! *sigh* But I did enjoy it for a while.....

Raspberry Picker
Potato picker
Babysitter
Roller rink party hostess
Retail clerk
Loan officer assistant
More retail!
Daycare slave
and soon: Ice cream scooper!

and for the past 21 years? Mom, and now grandma

Y'all are too kind! I think I might just enjoy it here.


*settles into the chair and starts sipping the iced tea*

*blush* you're not so bad yourself, kind sir!

I LOVE Popeyes! And I just move away from an area that had them too. le sigh!

My problem is that I tend to hop into a relationship way too fast and then *think* later. I'm trying to be a grownup now and do it "right" lol! As one of my dear friends says "you fall in love quickly, and give your heart away too freely, and usually undeservedly" then I end up brokenhearted. So, I'm *trying* to change my patterns!

Hello there! I joined a few days ago, and have been trying to take it slow. I've read that we should really get involved in the forums, so I'm trying to do that. Mainly I just lurk, so as not to step on toes just yet.

I'm looking for friends and companionship. I want to take things slow, get to know a person before them expecting me to a) send nude photos or b) hop in the sac with them. And then for them to respect the fact that maybe I just don't wanna! :D

Anyway, I'm glad I'm here!

This is a tough one. The question is: Can you be the best dad possible while feeling so much resentment towards their mother? Do you think that perhaps, if separated from HER, you will be better able to cope with the pressures of life? I know that I was a much better parent to my children once I was out of my hateful 1st marriage. HE was a much better parent once we were no longer toxic with each other.

No one can tell you what to do. I hate that you are in this position. Just know that splitting custody isn't the end of the world. Your beautiful children will be ok if it comes to that.

Hang in there! Many of us out here have been there, done that, and have come out ok in the end.l

I'm going to jump right in here...

My first marriage was to someone 7 years older than me, but we both had the maturity level of a couple of flies. The second time around he was 23 years older. It worked in the beginning. I had already been married, had 3 kids, been around the block.

BUT, the longer we were together, the quicker he aged. Our running joke when he would talk about music/the Vietnam War/college was that "it was before my time". It was funny for awhile, but I started to feel like a trophy, especially when we went to his 40th high school reunion. It was weird. We are now divorced, and I at this point, I don't think I could be with someone more than 10 years older than me. He, on the other hand, is moving in with someone that is younger than my oldest child, and just 3 years older than my youngest. In other words, she is young enough to be his grandchild. I wonder how long before she resents the age difference, especially as he is aging very quickly?

I think these relationships can work in the short term, but I'm not so sure they can work in the long run. *sigh*