Redefine your relationship status and then look. It is a disservice to women if you have unfinished business. A potential soul mate deserves all the best chances at happiness and love.

Hey, here are some things I recommend.

1. Gain confidence through believing in and knowing yourself. As an earlier poster said, but obscured with bad advice, confidence is sexy and women know it and can see it.

A man who knows where he's going, what he's doing, has a direction and a purpose. If she likes you, she sees a future, that future, with you. She'll come along for the ride.

2. Be skilled and talented at something, but don't brag about it. Show it, but don't show off. Women like men who are capable and skilled at something, unless it's beer drinking and swearing like a sailor.

If you write poetry, you can let little things drop like you've had work published or accepted. If you haven't made it that far yet, do it. It's time to build your resume. But whatever you do, enjoy what you're doing. She's not going to be impressed if you hate life.

3. Be humble, self-effacing, and approachable. No one likes another who's got his head stuck in the clouds or buried in the sand.

4. Avoid the bad, find the good. Don't hang out with losers, louts, or loudmouths. Your buddies good and bad points will rub off on you too. Make sure more good than bad goes your way, and that the cards are in your favor.

5. Look your best. When you look your best, feel your best, you have your best chances. You should always be prepared. This means you should do things like...

(a) Taking care of yourself and proper grooming.
(b) Dress well, but not too well or inappropriately. Pants slung low and gangsta style, no way. Pants jacked up and squeezing your thing-a-lings like Erkel, no, no, no.
(c) Eat healthy, exercise, and fulfill your genetic destiny.
(d) Have an appearance and disposition that says, "Here I am."

6. Don't view other men as threats or with hostility. You're not competing with them. There's no one to compete with but yourself. That sets you apart. There are no limits or boundaries except those that you define and surpass.

7. Don't treat her like a princess or put her on a pedestal. Treat her like your love. She wants to be loved, understood, and respected as another human being.

8. Don't click, don't bother. A spark ought to kindle a fire. Don't bother blowing on cold ashes. Look elsewhere.

9. Don't complain, don't whine, and don't be a girly-man.

10. Challenge her, excite her, captivate her, motivate her, and mesmerize her. Make her part of your world, and hers part of yours. It doesn't require money. But it requires brains. I hate to tell you the secret of secrets, but girls are zombies, and they're after your brains.

Fortune favors the bold, and women favor the creative. Good luck.


(I know I'm going to take flak for this, but these are my thoughts. Everyone has a different approach or outlook. I met my gf here and count my blessings everyday. ;))

From eklectek:


I can't take the credit for such fine advice. Thank 9erguy earlier in the thread.

Are you trying to get the dude thrown in the slammer or slapped with a sexual harassment/assault lawsuit?

The five Man Laws:

1. Don't be a weenie.
2. Don't be a pushover.
3. Don't be a whiner.
4. Use your big head, not your little one.
5. Shock and awe, and you'd better not screw it up like Bush did.

(I'm saying this tongue-n-cheek but I'm also serious. :))

Women do want smart and intelligent men. But really what they want is demonstrably smart and talented with those smarts. Witty, humorous, good at work or business, brainy, etc. They don't like boring, deserted, dessicated brains. Only zombies might not know the difference.

<3.

No. :(

I'm sorry to hear that, man. Take time to find yourself and get your bearings again. Let things heal. When you feel confident and everything seems to be going well, and you're ready to go get 'em, go get 'em. There are many single women with kids too and women who love kids but of course don't have kids. Don't sweat it. You know, more important than having a kid, is that they want to know that we as guys like kids and are good with them. When you're at your best, you'll feel sexy and confident, and the women will know and see that too. (They have radar.)

Pish posh.

And a spark can start a fire.

Excellent thoughts. :)

Love conquers all and gets the green card. Based on more than a few true stories. The end.

Maybe to find the ace up my sleeve. ;)

Good profile although a bit long. Hello. :)

Just one so far, but I need to add her new accounts to the list.

"Don't contact me any further." If that's not enough, block/report.

Have had a minor problem with someone keep pestering/stalking me recently, and she doesn't seem to understand I'm not interested.

Spoiled goes both ways. Most guys don't even bother with romance or a long-term relationship now, and confuse love and lay because they both start with L. That's why dudes don't talk so much about dating but hooking up.

Also want to comment, it's one thing to have preferences, it's another to have inflexible requirements that a man or woman must absolutely have or meet. Either you need to compromise or be willing to agree to disagree and part ways. I don't think you'll ever meet a "perfect" person. We need to ask ourselves how reasonable our preferences, requirements, or standards are. I have preferences also but mostly general ones, and my specific ones, like not dating or marrying a chain smoker, heavy drinker, etc. are for health reasons and compatibility, which I think are reasonable. Then again, everyone thinks what they think is "reasonable."

I think reducing a person to a "list" is pointless and misses the whole point of trying to know someone. I've had it happen, and I thought, "This is just like shopping... Shopping for people. You have your milk, eggs, and bacon. Now you need to make sure he's also well educated, tall, handsome, can benchpress more than a few poodles, and looks good in a mankini."

May you have sweet dreams and wake up not feeling them tomorrow.