I am good Bad! I dont come here as much as we all did last year but I am here and there, nice to see ya back darlin!

Hey bad, I think we just need some jello!

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.

You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.

You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

You ever cut your grass and found a car.


Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

You own a homemade fur coat.

The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.

People hear your car a long time before they see it.

I have also had a hard time finding the right person for me, it has been easy finding the wrong ones, but the thing I always tell myself when I am in the dumps because I am single is. I would rather be alone then with someone who isnt for me just not to be alone because in the long run if you are with someone who isnt the one for you, then you are actually loney anyway. Have faith and it will come to you!

I was in NC for a few years and loved it! Now i am in icky AZ!

Hello Jen,
I cant help but laugh at this post!

I would say I am a pretty assertive person, but some people take that as being mean, I have my heart in the right place and treat others with the upmost respect, But I am not afraid to talk about my feelings when needed, I think a lot of people have a poor self esteem and when you are honest and open about somethings they take it as a personal attack and think you are mean and icy!

Fourth Place:

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
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Third Place :

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
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Runner Up:

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed.
"Yes, I did." he replied.
"My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she got fired too."
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Winner:

A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps.
"One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.

I use to love to tan! But I stopped as it is SOOOOOOOO unhealthy

I would say I am done grieving. I took a year to reflect then started dating!

Dame,
It actually got down to 59 last night, it was GREAT! I enjoyed it, as I am sure it will not happen again anytime soon. The 120 degree weather is getting old for me~

Oh I have let my hair down a few time lol, I have moved on and I wouldnt of changed anything, but sometimes it is just sad it didnt work out, as I was married 11 years.
I have dated some, and I am much more cautious on the men I date, I am just looking for a down to earth person who has values, like most of us want.
I didnt date for the 1st year as I think rebound relationships dont make it!

I see a lot of men from AZ but not to many that post. Come out Come out!! :O)

Hello Chad,
I am in Tempe and work in Chandler, and I think it would be fun getting together with some people.

Well, My divorce should be final in Dec. It only took 2.5 years to get it finished LOL~. It is bizare as I am happy and sad about it. I am not the type of person who sits on the pity pot, I move on but it was still a large part of my life, time to get going and enjoy a new me!!!

It doesnt bother me, I am a smoker but always ask the person I am out with if it bothers them, and if it does I will excuse myself so it doesnt offend them.

36?

OKay I am sure this should go in a different section, but I loved it and wanted all to have a nice laugh!

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked
Stepmother won't let her.

As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy
Godmother appears, And promised to provide Cinderella with everything she
Needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees.

"What's the second condition?" "

You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your
Diaphragm will turn Into a pumpkin."

Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The
Appointed hour comes and goes and Cinderella doesn't
Show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up
Looking love struck and very satisfied.

"Where have you been?" demands the Fairy Godmother.

"Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin
Three hours ago!!!"

" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of Everything."

The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with
That kind of power! Tell me his name!"

Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, ...
Peter, Peter, something or other..."

I think you need to find inner peace within yourself as NO ONE can fill that void you have, it comes from within.

((((((((((DAN))))))))))))) you and I are friends to the end! I hope you find peace today within your heart with the sadness you must have.