I was once accused of being a cougar by the mother of my 24 year old nephew's best friend. I guess it's not appropriate for an old lady like myself to play Frisbee football in the park with a group of young men.

Did I mind? I actually thought it was flattering that she believed any of those handsome young studs would be romantically interested in me.

Strictly friendships

I quite agree. I don't think all people have equal value, but different values are relevant to different people…that’s all.

I agree about jealousy, but for slightly different reasons. I feel that jealousy is a symptom of an unhealthy relationship.

I think the intention of the person who's dating around is integral to how the other might perceive their actions. It’s easy to see where confusion could occur when a proclaimed quest for emotional gratification and the quest for riper melons can be somewhat interchangeable.

An example, in which I propose a woman would be devaluing herself, (something I see all the time) is if she did not agree with your terms, felt disrespected, yet continue to “wait” anyway. I suppose that is on her, but at the same time, would you know the difference between the two; the one who waited confidently and the one who stoically hid the resentment she harbored, but hadn’t the stomach to walk away? Just a thought.

Question: Must self confidence mean that you feel superior to others? Or have I mistaken the meaning of the last statement in the first paragraph of your reply? If not, it sounds quite harsh actually. I’ve always believed that self confidence is having no need to make such comparisons to begin with. Who or what is “best” is completely relative to individual taste after all, right? Then again, you may have meant, best for you, and I've taken this out of context. If so, disregard this paragraph altogether. Thanks.

So, while I see where you’re coming from…I don’t really GET it, or we simply have very different “taste”. Which is perfectly fine…just makes for better discussion really.

I will say that the last thing I’d want is a man who’d too hastily chosen me, but even still, I would just as soon stop seeing him, intimately at least, while he dated the others and reached his decision. If he’s not certain I’m right for him now, then he can always come back, if he were to become certain, in the future. If he’s the right one for ME, I imagine I’d be available whenever.

Any disagreement here is not about having the patience to wait for the right guy, self confidence, nor jealousy. I simply have it in my mind that the only way for ME to really get to know a man I’m dating, is to proceed without the distraction of other men on my mind. So, I suppose I’m just turning the table, so to speak, and figuring that if a man really wants to know me, he will be eager and willing to jump on board and take that journey, knowing that he can get off whenever he chooses, as can I.

I actually don’t see that my thinking is all so different from yours, with the exception that I don’t run the risk of inadvertently hurting someone’s feelings. Even if I shared your judgments about those who do not accept this dating style, and felt that their pain was a self inflicted result of some flaw in their character, such as jealousy or low esteem, I will still be spared all the resulting drama that surly entails…ohhhh, the drama.

Anyway, since the situation has never come up for me, I’m just guessing my feelings on it. But it is very interesting to learn about. Thanks for sharing your experience and point of view with me.

I think a lot of people (women as well as men) are impatient to find out if they are sexually compatible with someone they're dating before they invest too much time "courting" someone who may not appeal to them on a more intimate level later.

It's no different than every other trend we lean toward these days...fast life, fast service, fast food...it's the instant gratification generation.

I dream that my image appears in a photograph that I could not have possibly been in...as I took the photo myself. Sometimes it appears when I'm developing film, and other times within an existing photo as I pass it on the wall or show it to someone in a portfolio. I usually feel pretty creeped out when I awake.

I think it becomes necessary if it's important to either individual. If it's not important to one, but highly important to the other, then dismissing the significance it holds to the other would be disrespectful of their beliefs...not a good way to start a life together.

I know a woman who played games in attempts to discover if he was playing games on her. Kind of a bait the trap type thing. Somehow this made here game playing justified in her mind.

I think everyone's obsession with our DNA relationship to apes is only due to the fact that Darwin was published...oh yeah, and also died, long before the genetic mapping of domestic pig DNA. With this knowledge, he may have been singing a different tune altogether.

Does the fact that pig DNA is an even better match for human DNA, so much or so that pig heart valves are completely compatible for use in human hearts, as well the fact that they are large animals with tiny, seemingly useless tails, change anything in this discussion for anyone?

Is it just me, or did the tail on that boy in the video look more like a pig tail than a monkey's?

I had a friend who went through this as well. She said that she felt that police, charges, restraingin orders and courtroom custody battles were the worst thing she could do to her kids.

I'll tell your friend what I told mine..."Do you think any of these things are worse than having to burry their mother?"

Even if it doesn't come to that...making them watch the abuse continue is far worse than any courtrooms. Witnessing abuse alters how children think of relationships and can even hamper their ability to love...even their own children.

Hey Ronny!

If I were here to date I would post a good face picture, but don't think my looks are material for casual conversation and cultivating friendships. I hope not anyway.

IQ's can't possibly indicate what someone will DO with their gift...so I don't understand the point of them frankly.

I'm just messing with you because I found the last part of your question amusing...maybe only because of how I think of it.

Of course I want my future partner to be attractive to me...but that attraction can come in many other forms.

Good topic by the way.

"Is looks any different than any other God given thing such as brains? "


Well, let’s compare just a couple of “God’s gifts” for a minute.

Intellect… when brought to fruition can generate cures for world spread illnesses, cultivate food resources for impoverished countries, and lead the whole world into the future with unthinkable technologies. (Just a few examples)

Physical Beauty… when properly preened can bring forth bountiful gifts for deserving countries too…ummmm... a Trojan Horse maybe? (Sorry couldn’t think of any other way that personal beauty has had an effect on the world at large.)

I wonder where they get the ideas from...obviously not family names. Was this inspiration from the computer or the fruit...no no no...Fruit of the Loom!

There are so many celebrities who choose unusual names for their kids…

James Brown - Yamma
David Bowie’s - Zowie
Rachel Griffith – Banjo
Don Cortese – Tabooger
Simon LaBron – Pine
Tommy Lee Jones – Kafka
Richard Gere - Jigme
Bob Geldolf – Fifi Trixibelle

At the same time they want them left out of the limelight...right?

I've always found it strange that they give their kids names that make people talk, but then get upset when people talk about their kids. The only explanation I could guess at would be that these are people who are used to having their cake and eating it to0.

Namaste back at ya!

It may be true you can't choose your family, but we all have the ability and the right to choose what we take into our own hearts.

I totally agree with your statement, but wish you could keep your ex girlfriend out of it.

Traveling down the highway responding to email and checking in here. Gotta love MiFi!

I know it's not the subject of this post, and sorry if I'm intruding, since I don't know those involved...but...

TexasScoundral, why would you want a woman who would settle for less than the relationship she desires in the first place? Seems like she wouldn't be respecting herself to do so and who wants someone who values themselves so little?

Please don't take this badly. I'm not trying to start anything here, I'm just trying to better understand your point of view on this.

Oh yeah, to answer the original question...no. I will go for it if I have the time...which is not often. Trying on new relationships takes more time than I'm willing to commit at this time in my life. Fear is not my problem...time is just not on my side.

clueless