A guy and a girl get a flat tire one blizzardy night. The guy goes out to change the tire, but he has no gloves, and after a while, his hands start to get blue, so he comes back into the car. 'Put your hands between my thighs and that'll warm them up,' invites the girl. He does, and pretty soon his hands recover, and he goes back outside. After a while longer, his hands get cold again, and once again, she suggests that he warm them between her thighs. He does so and returns to finish putting on the spare. When he comes back into the car triumphant, she looks at him and asks, 'Aren't your ears cold?'

A priest and an Australian shepherd met each other in the final of a quiz show. After answering all the normal questions, they were neck-and-neck with the same number of points and the quiz-master had to set a deciding question.
The question was to compose a rhyme in 5 minutes including the word `Timbuktu`.

After 5 minutes, the priest presented his poem:
I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the Bible through and through,
Anon my way to Timbuktu.

The audience was thrilled and celebrated the churchman as the certain winner.

However, the Australian shepherd stepped forward and recited:
When Tim and I to Brisbane went,
We met three ladies cheap to rent,
They were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim booked two.

Should I? It's not my website, mods are always here to delete duplicated posts or posts they don't like. If they have no attention to website bugs it up to them. More bugs on site less traffic therefore less money... they do they own business the way they want.
I just got the point that I'll never report any problems here again.

Your site working funky. Every time I login it show my page "you lost Wi-Fi connection, every time I click any button on "Match" page it shows again. FIY I'm on LAN and there is no "Wi-Fi connection at all"
Please fix it, that page is extremely annoying. Thanks.

After I posted it got same page again "You lost your Internet connection"

Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go past a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”
The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”
Jacob: “Do you sell heart medication?”
Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”
Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
Pharmacist: “All kinds.”
Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”
Pharmacist: “Definitely.”
Jacob: “How about Viagra?”
Pharmacist: “Of course.”
Jacob: “Medicine for memory?”
Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety.”
Jacob: “What about vitamins and sleeping pills?”
Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”
Jacob: “Perfect! We’d like to register here for our wedding gifts.”

///

Thank you for idea. I'm in web development from 1996 and never thought it possible.

Honestly - moderators and developers should adjust header ad space it cover site content and if it will stay that way I personally will start block ads

3 simple solutions:

1. go to your browser setting, block javascript for this domain. Anti"Adblock" based on javascript which detect Adblock javascript.
If you have popup ads, go to browser setting and block all popups. Google it for your browser.

2. install different ad blocker {google it)

3. be respectful to site owners - they have to earn money somehow - for majority of users site is free, but hosting server, development, updates, maintenance, domain yearly registration etc. are not free - so just visually ignore ads and let them rotate and generate money that because most of us do not pay for free service.

This is very standard forum and search just an option that could be turned on/off

Is it possible to add keyword search on forums? It could help to find existing topics without posting duplicated topics and may save some time for admins.

A woman’s guide to what a man is really saying:

I’M HUNGRY.
I’m hungry.

I’M SLEEPY.
I’m sleepy.

I’M TIRED.
I’m tired.

I’VE GOTTA GO.
Get out of the way and stay away until it clears.

WHAT’S WRONG?
I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal out of this.

WHAT’S WRONG?
What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
I liked it better before.

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
$50 and it doesn’t look that much different!

YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.
For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair!

LET’S TALK, HONEY.
I’m trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and maybe then you’d like to have sex with me.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?
I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks.

Great! Finally it solved!

Great story. Personally I would do the same - call, add note and few $$

Thanks for sharing, Dino!

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over,it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

Is there any difference?
For one night stand you have to pay for something anyway - dinner, movie, coffee, hotel room...
in most cases one night stand way more expensive and way more disappointed...
in most cases paid sex ugly, emotionless and unpleasant no matter what you pay for it.

In comparison it like rotten green apple vs. rotten red apple...

"Not all those who wander are lost"

J. R. R. Tolkien

In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. He was a hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, “Gosh! If I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.”

There was a fish in the water thinking, “Gosh! If that fly goes down three inches I can eat him.”

There was a bear on the shore thinking, “Gosh! If that fly goes down three inches... that fish will jump for the fly... and I will eat him.”

It also happened that a hunter was further up the bank of the lake, preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. “Gosh!” he thought, “If that fly goes down three inches... and that fish leaps for it... that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I’ll shoot the bear and then have a proper lunch.”

You probably think this is enough activity for one bank of a lake, but I can tell you there was more.

A wee mouse by the hunter’s foot was thinking, “Gosh! If that fly goes down three inches... and that fish jumps for that fly ...and that bear grabs for that fish... the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich.”

A cat, lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular lake around lunchtime, “Gosh... if that fly goes down three inches...and that fish jumps for that fly... and that bear grabs for that fish ...and that hunter shoots that bear... and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich... then I can have mouse for lunch.”

The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water... The fish swallows the fly... The bear grabs the fish... The hunter shoots the bear... The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich... The cat jumps for the mouse... The mouse ducks...The cat falls into the water and drowns.

The moral of the story is...

Whenever a fly goes down three inches... Somewhere there’s a ***** in trouble.

[LOL that is the funny filter for common word for cats!!! ]

Just out of curiosity that kills a cat is "Puss in Boots" filtered too?

Vuoi dire che "l'uomo giusto" è una persona ricca che ti porterà nel suo paese e ti darà una vita felice?

Poker?