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I had no idea there were such interesting answers to this question.

Thanks for your inputs.

Mine is because of my personality towards others.

Tough question!

mmmmm (thinking) ouch! that hurt!

either a:

beer with a coffee chaser or a coffee with a beer chaser!

There...that should do it!

Little Johnny meets Barack Obama

Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked Obama if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.'

So the president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," said Obama, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained Obama. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. No other child volunteered.. Obama searched
the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a
tragedy?"Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Obama. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "It has to be a tragedy, because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss......and you can bet your black a$$ it wouldn't be an accident either."

What is the most popular TV show, the most broadcast show, the most hated TV show all in one?

ANSWER:

"PAID PROGRAMING"

I see more of these infomercials than anything else on TV! These senseless programs are ruining TV as I/we know it...knocking out the entertainment! And it is night after night, after night!

I would feel bad for the unfortunate ones that only have an antenna to receive the TV signals.

Sometimes, I have detected the same infomercial on at least 5 stations, AT THE SAME TIME!

OK...rant is over, "returning you back to your regularly scheduled programs."

The Dinner Roll ..


Once upon a time I was invited to the White House
for a private dinner with the President.

I am a respected businessman, with a factory that produces
memory chips for computers and portable electronics.

There was some talk that my industry was being scrutinized
by the administration, but I paid it no mind. I live in a FREE
country. There's nothing that the government can do to me if
I've broken no laws. My wealth was EARNED honestly, and
an invitation to dinner with an American President is an honor.

I checked my coat, was greeted by the Chief of Staff, and
joined the President in a yellow dining room.

We sat across from each other at a table draped in white linen.
The Great Seal was embossed on the china. Uniformed staff
served our dinner.

The meal was served, and I was startled when my waiter
suddenly reached out, plucked a dinner roll off my plate and
began nibbling it as he walked back to the kitchen..

"Sorry 'bout that," said the President. "Andrew is very hungry."
"I don't appreciate..." I began, but as I looked into the calm
brown eyes across from me, I felt immediately guilty and petty.
It was just a dinner roll. "Of course," I concluded, and reached
for my glass.

Before I could, however, another waiter reached forward,
took the glass away and swallowed the wine in a single gulp.
"And his brother, Eric, is very thirsty," said the President.

I didn't say anything. The President is testing my compassion,
I thought. I withheld my comments and decided to play along.
I don't want to seem unkind..

My plate was whisked away before I had tasted a bite.
"Eric's children are also quite hungry."
With a lurch, I crashed to the floor. My chair had been pulled
out from under me.

I stood, brushing myself off angrily, and watched as it was
carried from the room.
"And their grandmother can't stand for long."

I excused myself, smiling outwardly, but inside feeling like a fool.
Obviously I had been invited to the White House to be sport for
some game. I reached for my coat, to find that it had been taken.

I turned back to the President.
"Their grandfather doesn't like the cold."
I wanted to shout, "that was my coat!" But again, I looked at
the placid smiling face of my host and decided I was being a
poor sport. I spread my hands helplessly and chuckled.

Then I felt my hip pocket and realized my wallet was gone.
I excused myself and walked to a phone on an elegant side table.

I learned shortly that my credit cards had been maxed out, my
bank accounts emptied, my retirement and equity portfolios had
vanished, and my wife had been thrown out of our home.

Apparently, the waiters and their families were moving in.
The President hadn't moved or spoken as I learned all this, but
finally I lowered the phone into its cradle and turned to face him.

"Andrew's whole family has made bad financial decisions. They haven't
planned for retirement and they need a house. They recently defaulted
on a subprime mortgage. I told them they could have your home. They
need it more than you do."

My hands were shaking. I felt faint I stumbled back to the table and
knelt on the floor.

The President cheerfully cut his meat, ate his steak, and drank his wine.

I lowered my eyes and stared at the small gray circles on the tablecloth that were water drops.

"By the way," he added, "I have just signed an Executive Order
nationalizing your factories. I'm firing you as head of your business.

I'll be operating the firm now for the benefit of all mankind.
There's a whole bunch of Eric's and Andrews out there and they
can't come to you for jobs groveling like beggars...we need to
spread YOUR wealth around..."

I looked up. The President dropped his spoon into the empty ramekin
which had been his crème Brule.

He drained the last drops of his wine. As the table was cleared,
he lit a cigarette and leaned back in his chair.

He stared at me. I clung to the edge of the table as if it were a
ledge and I were a man hanging over an abyss.

I thought of the years behind me, of the life I had lived. The life
I had earned with a lifetime of work, risk and struggle.

Why was I punished? How had I allowed it to be taken? What game
had I played and lost? I looked across the table and noticed with
some surprise that there was no game board between us.

What had I done wrong?

As if answering the unspoken thought, President Obama suddenly
cocked his head, locked his empty eyes to mine, and bared a million
teeth, chuckling wryly as he folded his hands.

"You should have stopped me at the dinner roll," he said.

WAKE UP AMERICA !!!

That could very well be a losing venture!

That should increase your date-ability 10 fold now! Good luck!

and keep that emergency can of play-doe handy, to plug the hole till help arrives!

I don't think it is fair to the ladies...that males can, and females can't!

Would this fall under the "equal rights" somewhere?

Would this be discriminatory or something?

Just asking!

Glad you realize that Michigan is not the rest of the country...your up on your geography.

It's no secret that I am NOT a buma supporter.

And just because you listen to (as you say) the right news that has your opinion suitable to your understanding...that still don't necessarily make your idea THE RIGHT ONE!

We all have our own interpretation of what is going on, or how we see what is happening, and the way we understand it!

It don't make us have the right answer on everything, but we still have that privilege, as we see it.

If you believe what you feel is right...then so be it, but remember...that don't make it so/true! On the other side of the token, we or the rest of us have that same privilege.

It's just I don't choose to be a part of his (Obama) "pied-Piper" fiascoes!

The rest of you just follow him right on down the road to destruction of my America!

JMO - If I Still Have One!

Michigan is not the rest of the country!

Wow...I was just reading your descriptive post, and all of a sudden, I started drooling and had to tear off a paper towel!

Dose that mean I have to pay more at the border?

I think ALL politicians are liars, but not all liars are politicians.

I think the rest of the liars, are just politicians in waiting!

Are politicians really just liars?

OR
Are liars really just politicians ?

Stupid politicians that lie...but then if they didn't lie...they wouldn't be politicians!

Well...when I was repairing computers, before I retired...I would have as many as 10 computers at the same time on the work benches.

All of them at different stages of diagnostic or repair process at the same time.

I had a regular office chair with wheels, and I would wheel myself from computer to computer to basically repair/diagnose , keeping up with what was wrong with each.

I guess you could call that multitasking. Even now, I keep at least 7+ browser pages open at all time...while logged onto several sites.

Yea...it is a way of computing for me.

I Domino's EXTRAVAGANZA!