"in sickness and in health" goes for a partner or a friend for me

Don't see it as a factor, unless I am not able to handle the responsibilities of it.

I believe, could be wrong, we all get sick and die. Could just be me though. Maybe you guys don't age or get ill or have maintained to live in your judgement bubble without anyone having a pin in their pocket.

I would ceratinly hate to live a life that shallow. I have seen way too many people of value that have been afflicted with something who have had more on the ball than me to ever say I am above them in any way and can't be with them. They are afflicted, and the shallow person is just as afflicted, in a different way.

Mingle is kinda more about mingling than being a site that has a high hookup rate. It happens but the site even early on became more of a get to know you site that gave off a more becoming friends vibe than lets get this relationship going vibe. Kinda weird really cause it seams this would be the perfect results type of site.

From what I'm told and I seeing, it's getting tougher for folks to hook up these days. The world has changed and finding some of the treasured values we looked for in partners has changed a lot too. There's an awful lot of baggage out there and focus on economy that has somehow made it's way into our thinking and, I think really messed things up.

Lives are different today. For example, how many of us have cool living rooms to hang out in? All of us right. But how many of us have empty living rooms? Use to be people got together in those rooms and we spent a lot of time socializing. There was a time when almost everyone had regular get togethers. Now our focus (sadly) is on other things and we have taken our eyes off of, in home mingling. An entire way of life and how we got to know each other has been removed and new values have replaced our thinking.

We are the ones who have made these new rules but it's very hard to turn back to many of the things that matter and truly build strong relationships. TV, stereo, sports, cooking, hobbies are a few things that use to bring us together, and there are those who still do them, but the majority of singles by far have not found the circles of friends that do these things with each other anymore. There are still groups and clubs but the same "want-to-ness" is not there like it was before.

Years ago, neighborhoods were vast playgrounds of activities between the kids and the parants of the kids. The streets were full of something going on in all age groups, but something happened. The streets in comparison are quiet today or full of crime, and the homes are empty and lifeless. I can remember when no one really talked about money, but today it's about couple partnerships that to me look more like business arrangements. Another thing that has changed greatly is small family businesses. They are all but gone and the guy with a skill is all but out on the street. The boom is bust and there are more talking about bad than good.

There's also change in the way we talk as opposed to before. In todays world we are stuck in grid lock about so many things whereas in days a while back we use to be able to accept our differences and meld. Back not too long ago we looked at things more from the positive and humorous side, now we are surrounded by downers.

Remember when there use to be Mr. Grumps around that we use to make fun of? Now we make fun of Mr Positive.

I do believe the tide will turn but I also believe it's going to skip a particular generation who forgot certain values.

We are in that generation. It's sad but we built it, we own it.

Tomorrow were going to wake up in a world a lot different from this one. It will be some what the same as the old but different in the way we are intouch with each other. For onr it won't be keypads but sight and sound, like skype. A phone will not be a phone but visual/audio. You room won't have people in it but you will be seen and they will see you, just like we are doing now but with visual. Think I'm kidding, go to the CES next year.

I wouldn't give up on mingle or even other sites. What I would do is look for the change in the ways we get together. We are going to continue to be more and more technology based and along with this as we start dealing with each other face to face (so to speak) our lives will begin to take on a "real" sense again. I believe (as dumb as you might think) this is going to begin a new chapter of an old tradition.

Let me ask you a question in this long winded post. If you were all of a sudden moved from behind your screen to all of us talking live with visual how would it change this site? How would it change our perspective of each other? This site would change overnight. Not only this site but the way we interact with people in general will change. One thing, people will start being held accountable again. It's a lot harder to buffalo you if your looking right at me.

This is just one area in change that's going to sweep. There are other ways our world is changing that will make todays world a ton different from tomorrows. We are hitting some low points but people have a way of letting the old die and bringing in the new, and it is usually done while we are not even aware. Since we have moved from sitting in our living rooms talking, to hiding behind a screen we have in some ways gone back in time and cut a part of our normal communication out. I believe in some ways it has made us non-transparent even non-personal. You put positive and personal back on the map and look how fast things will turn around.

This is just my take on this short period of time we call the computer age. An age that we went from the living room to a scene with nothing but words. Want to make a bet (I'm from vegas). Ten years from now almost all sites including dating sites will be keyboardless.

For a man there are different answers here. The "lust factor" for a guy is a driving force that can cloud his judgement. Some guys have more control over this than others. For example, we've all seen the bar scene. Last calls come and the guys are on the prowl by the door. Don't think that they are there for much else than... you guessed it lol. I don't want to speak for women cause I'm not one nor do I have their same drive, but I have seen the guy thing in action and not only at bars but in many situations. It's not so much about looks at that point at all, but more the need to be satisfied.

If a woman catches a guy (sorry for the language) thinking with the right head she is bound to find a man who thinks of her in the relationship possible way or with respect. With the other head, and the guy is thinking more to satisfy a longing of lust. Guys will commonly use the first as a cover up to get to the second and there are guys who live with the lust factor in charge their whole life. These are guys who really don't know how to separate the two and there are tons of guys like this. I hate to say it but maybe most guys. Their carrying side is like bait on the end of the string as they are thinking about the feeling of getting the booty.

This is when you see a lot of these guys act like they are interested till they get the satisfaction filled then somehow turn cold and distant. Your wanting to get closer and he is thinking about getting out of there. It's like a switch goes off in his head that even he doesn't understand. He was even in his own mind very interested but somehow along with the love juice so did his commitment go for taking things further. A lot of times a woman at that point will throw herself in front of the guy to pull him back in but his emotions have already left the building and the woman becomes at that point an object of momment lust instead of a partnered building block of togetherness.

Hey, women are the same way so we can't put all this on guys, but it shouldn't be covered up either cause there are many girls out there thinking of their man as someone who loves them with a different type of love than what the guy actually has on his mind.

I would have to say that one feeds the other.

If you are attracted to her inner beauty it's hard to not see her as beauiful on the outside.

I think where guys screw up many times (I have too) is when we don't give a chance for the inner beauty to show because we are feeding our lust at the time.

If she doesn't appeal to our lust than we loose interest in finding the woman within. Sad really isn't it.

And a lot of times guys will also talk the game of wanting the inner but caring for nothing more than the outer. We'll even lie to ourselves if need be, and we certainly lie online. Online is the easiest to paint and play. Goes both ways no doubt and I would think online has more hurting souls than any of us will ever know, or if we're one will ever let on.

I'm not gonna lie I have gone through periods like this (looking at the outside only) and after the season passes say "what was that about". There's no way I actually would have gone the long haul with only a play thing.

I think all of us (if looking) really do want the real thing, but today it is so turned around that we get pretty confused by the smell of sex, let me also throw in there the smell of things. We have become an outside people. We talk to someone and are sizing them up the whole time to see if they fit that physical wish list. I think that's fun actually but I also think that it blinds us (me) to something perhaps even more sexy and appealing, "something real".

I have enjoyed my "something reals" far more than the looks thing. I say that but was married to two bombshells. I think, I hope age has cured that, or at least bent it, but when I am out with one of my girlfriends I still see that outside samplingman trying to push that guy who cares about the inside beauty out of the way. I actually do say to myself "you are blind" at times even now, but I know deep inside that it's the inner beauty that is the only thing I can truly live with long term. Maybe I shouldn't say inner beauty but "real beauty".

BTW, what is good looking anyway? Isn't that all a taste thing?